Heartbreaking : Just been given the... - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

36,994 members18,146 posts

Heartbreaking

36wordsworth profile image
38 Replies

Just been given the devastating news that my wife’s illness can’t be treated. A transplant is out of the question. She is being assessed for a place in a local hospice to receive end of life care.

I feel totally heartbroken and lost. I just hope that she can fight and make sure she stays with us as long as she can.

Written by
36wordsworth profile image
36wordsworth
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
38 Replies

Sorry to hear that. My thoughts are with you both.

If the future seems overwhelming, remember that it comes one moment at a time.

God bless.

ThreeSmiles profile image
ThreeSmiles

Oh my, that is so sad to hear wordsworth 😕. Hope indeed you do get some reasonable amount of time together.

That sure puts some of our problems in perspective....

Laura009 profile image
Laura009

I'm so sorry, dreadfully sad news. I hope you manage to have plenty of time together and make them happy times. Laugh together as much as you can but cry when you need to.

Laura xx

h0b0 profile image
h0b0

So sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you both. I'm sure the time you have together will be very precious.

May your remaining time together be not full of sadness but of warm loving moments that you will cherish forever!

Love Trish xxx

davianne profile image
davianne

Oh My Dear Lord, what devastating news to receive. I hope and pray that your remaining time together will be happy times, and give you both solace.

You are both in my thoughts and prayers,

God bless you both,

David

Bigguy_1969 profile image
Bigguy_1969

So sad to hear this, can’t imagine the heartbreak, she will always be with you though,and one day will be in each other’s arms again.

alfredthegreat profile image
alfredthegreat

I'm very sad to hear this.

I hope that the time you have left together will be peaceful and that you will both have many happy and heart warming, loving times.

Thinking of you both.

Alf.

Millie09 profile image
Millie09

No words can Express... sending you strength, thoughts and prayers .

God bless you both

Linda xx

I am so so sorry to hear this very sad news. I hope you are able to make some heartwarming times together and make each other smile. . You are both in my thoughts and prayers. With all my love to you both Lynne xxxx

ballie52 profile image
ballie52

I'm so sorry to hear you have had such devastating news ..it must be really difficult for you to deal with this right now!

Spend this time with your wife to try and make the most of your time together..reflect on all your happy times together.

It must be very hard for you to come to terms of what you have just been told!

Hopefully the time you spend with your wife will be a peaceful time for both of you.

Dililiver profile image
Dililiver

Very very sorry to read that. My heart goes out to you both. Xx

P13jne profile image
P13jne

I’m so sorry this is happening to you both. Keep each other strong. Reminiscing about good times will bring a smile to you both in the difficult times to come. Everyone here is always ready to listen and be a shoulder when you need it my lovely. Jane xx

Marydel63 profile image
Marydel63

Try to take it one hour, one day, one week at a time. It is devastating news and you are probably in a state of shock. It is unfair. Just give that extra hug, that extra kiss . It is ok to be mad angry sad etc, I really have no other advice , other than taking that extra time to sit beside each other. I pray she improves , I pray for you both.

Wass71 profile image
Wass71

I'm truly sorry to hear this sad news. I hope you have plenty of support and help. I wish you strength to cope with the future, and to be strong for your wife. Hopefully together you will share your happy memories, and it'll be those you keep in your heart.

Thinking of you both x

Peeps7 profile image
Peeps7

So very sorry to hear your tragic news, my husband was medically discharged last September with short months and into the care of our local Hospice. It is a rollercoaster but he is still here - never give up hope. I draw on the huge bank of wonderful memories we have made together but it is a rocky road. Feel free to pm me. Try and stay strong, Anne x

Such sad news, all I can offer are my prayers and hope you both spend some more time together and share the happy memories

gardenfun profile image
gardenfun

Do not forget you are never alone and if you believe it or not, someone is watching over us and stays on our side.

On our last hour He/She will come and free us from our worn out bodies.

We should not be afraid of anything.

I also wish you two all the best.

Eva

emma1001 profile image
emma1001

I am so sorry you are both in this situation.

I hope you won't mind my suggestion, but if you don't already have recordings of your wife's voice then think about recording some conversations with her now, (possibly on your smart phone app if you have one), One day you might find comfort in hearing her speak your name again.

I have recordings of my mother chatting, complaining and laughing and they all bring solace, even some laughs, to all of us who miss her.

I wish you strength and do take good care of yourself too.

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply to emma1001

Me too Emma. I was sent the recording of my Mum on the radio when she was talking about the cancer charity she and her team were raising money for. You are right it is very comforting. Ive also had orders to make cushion covers from the clothes of lost loved ones which they find a great comfort too. Little things mean so much to many ❤

emma1001 profile image
emma1001 in reply to Laura009

It's a lovely idea to have a cushion steeped in happy memories to hold close.

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply to emma1001

If you ever find yourself wanting one, save your loved ones favourite item of clothing and send it to me. It could be a shirt, skirt, dress or trousers. Your cushion cover will have a zip, piping if you request it and the inner pad. A permenant reminder of the one you lost and so comforting to cuddle ❤

sunnysmile profile image
sunnysmile in reply to Laura009

Oh wow what a lovely idea :) x

kyia profile image
kyia

So sorry that you're having to go through this. Thinking of you both.

Linkinpark profile image
Linkinpark

Hello I know your pain and I feel for you. I went through same. My husband was told on 6th Sept 2019 he would not make it through the liver transplant. That day I felt devestated, I took him home and cared for him. He passed away on 25.11.19 my world stopped. My heart is broken. I'm trying to take each day, I know I did my best for him. And he's got no more pain. Make each day special love your wife spend time with her making memories and remember the good days I will be thinking of you

36wordsworth profile image
36wordsworth in reply to Linkinpark

Thanks so much x

Laura009 profile image
Laura009 in reply to Linkinpark

I know what you're going through. Very hard time for you. Desperately sad .

Laura xxxx

utep99 profile image
utep99

I am very strongly sad to hear of the news you received. I too may find a transplant may not be possible. This is a condition that we all must go through. She will go in God's time, the main thing to remember is that in Heaven she will be cured and never face even the slightest affliction. Allow her to make her piece with God or even allow a Pastor to speak with her. It will help her a lot to know where she is going and will help you in knowing although the sadness of losing her is almost to horrific to bear. You can be assured she no longer suffers or ever will again for eternity!

Tedsui profile image
Tedsui

God bless you both, healing hugs and prayers x

Julie8 profile image
Julie8

That’s really sad

GardenPixie profile image
GardenPixie

Wishing you both every possible strength to fight and make every day you have a special one. xx

Good morning 36wordsworth,

Our lovely forum members are here to offer their support.

You can also call the nurse led helpline on 0800 652 7330 Mon-Fri 10am-3pm if you would find it helpful to talk.

Take care,

Trust9

sunnysmile profile image
sunnysmile

Sincere thoughts for you both - some lovely amazing messages on here - take comfort in them - xx

lyn3 profile image
lyn3

Awe so sorry to hear your aweful news, not sure on what to say other than we are all here to give you support as much as we can. Sending you both big hugs..

KatoombaNSW profile image
KatoombaNSW

Truly sorry you are both going through what is a very traumatic time..I cared for my mother during her final months,and it helped us both to talk about all the lovely, positive experiences we shared throughout our lives..

Good luck to you both.. X

36wordsworth profile image
36wordsworth

Just to let you know my wife passed on Saturday afternoon. She deteriorated quickly in the last week and had hepatic encephalopathy which she didn’t recover from.

I know the saying blessing in disguise is often said. In Carole’s situation it was. I’m glad she’s not suffering anymore.

Uplight99 profile image
Uplight99 in reply to 36wordsworth

I’m really really sorry to hear this.

All I can do is offer my friendship, if you ever wanna talk about anything then send me a message.

Braveheart65 profile image
Braveheart65

Desperately sad to read your post. There’s no point in me trying to think of something consoling to say as nothing will ease your loss at this time. I don’t know you but to even have taken the time to let us know what you’re trying to deal with speaks volumes.

Night or day, any hour or minute, you will always have someone to share your grief with on this forum.

Take care of yourself at this time.

I can relate in some small way to you. My father was diagnosed with a non operable brain tumour in April ‘86, he passed away in November of that year. By the time of his death his deterioration was indescribable and my mother and I prayed everyday for “this to be the day”. He stayed at home throughout his illness. But even though we knew it was going to occur, afterwards all I recall was deep confusion. The pain of the loss came much later.

So I really mean it when I say take care of yourself at this time. Whatever you experience emotionally or physically will be different to anyone else. Let people help you. But most of all try to stay sane.

My heartfelt sympathy,

Alicia

You may also like...

Help. My mum has bad Hepatic Encephalopathy

currently too ill for transplant. She's in hospital. Almost lost her a week ago. She's almost non...

More post op problems

Things just keep getting worse they have now told us she has had a stoke, I really do not know how...

Carvedilol & Decompensated ARLD

recently and she was very pleased that he has not had any alcohol for just over 13mths now. She...

Mother is showing signs of advance liver disease but refusing medical help. What can I do?

I have spoken with her but she just tells me it too late and totally refuses to see a doctor. I'm...

Therapy session (trying to make sense of it)

see if anyone can make sense of why she has repeated this more than once. Last session she told me...