I'm back after a Hiatus, I want to post this to help people have an end goal to help them strive to stay abstinent.
My first drink was vodka and a carton juice from the corner shop at age 13 behind the football field, Its kind of a ritual where I am from, you are exposed to heavy drinking from Birth really it's everywhere but when you start "Courting" is when you begin to taste it for the first time, I was indifferent to drink I didn't much enjoy it I just used it socially because "That's what people do" I drank on weekends and student nights up until age 20-21 relatively without any problems.
At age 20-21 my mental health rapidly deteriorated I went from Training to being a personal trainer at college 5 days a week working out constantly and having a purpose, to sitting in my room playing my game eating junk, just neglecting myself, I continued to drink on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays but there was no reward system now I was just drinking to socialise when it should have been the reverse.
I remember the exact moment when my drinking started to spiral, It was a Thursday I walked to my friend, house "James" to do our weekly pilgrimage to a student pub in town, I suffered one of my first panic attacks, I didn't freak out with the fear of my friend suspecting I was broken and weird, what seemed like an eternity finally came to a close we arrived at the pub "what you having mate? "Get me a pint" I've never downed a drink so quick, my anxiety started to subside, Wow! I thought this is great I've been suffering silently at home, "what are you having mate?" I've still got a full pint said James I hastily rushed to the bar, I remember the queue being large, I bumped through everyone completely out of character I didn't care if it escalated physically, Pints flowed that night and I felt a relief from my anxiety for the first time in months, I was on cloud 9.
Ever since that night, my mind made a direct colleration between Ilness>Alcahol>Relief, I had no idea what I was self-medicating I knew I wasn't right but I didn't know I was Ill.
up until the age of 24 I practised this method, not conversing with anyone about what I was doing my tolerance for alcohol was going up and It was noticeable, I was necking 10 pints in the pub and my anxiety was clawing me for the 11th, Every trip home from the pub was accompanied by a stop to the 24 hr off license, I was now not willing to be without alcohol by my side if I was walking the corner shop I needed to have a stache of Ale somewhere on me, Just in case of a panic attack mid walking.
It progressively got worse and I wasn't working so I began to steal, I stole my Girlfriends purse, my Mothers handbag, I cashed in my cousins Laptop, I was in and out of hospitals with seizures from trying to come off the ale altogether, That cemented my Idea that I couldn't be anywhere without alcohol on my person.
Needless to say, my Mother had been through every emotion you could possibly fathom, I was her baby, she wanted so much more for me, she never wanted harm to befall me, My last Binge last 12 months I wouldn't move out of bed I was drinking 20 cans of lager for 6 months then graduated to a litre of vodka every day for another 6 months, I know what your thinking where was the money, who was buying you it well the truth is It was my Mum she was trying to get me sober because I would promise every time, that I would get sober just don't let me go cold turkey again (basically paying on her motherly instincts).....Makes me sick to think of the person that I was back then.
My family Dr, Dr Hussey was called out I hadn't eat, 2 weeks and couldn't stop spewing he walked in to what must have looked like Homer Simpson Yellow to the bone swollen and unable to move, an ambulance was called shortly after, My last drink was a vodka inside of a Lucozade bottle inside the Royal Liverpool Hospital Christmas eve 2017.
I was diagnosed with Hepatic Liver and spent some time in Intensive care with low potassium, Im here to tell the tale and Live a happy and full life, My mother has passed now she never got to see the person I become but I live now for her memory, she gave her life so I could have a good one, and that's what I intend to do Love you Mum x
If your on the path of sobriety Keep on Truckin! 2 years sober and I'm fully healed all bloodwork and scans are perfect, no underlying remnants of disease
Thanks for Listening to my story, I'm not the best at writing but I tried my best.
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james_92
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james_92
Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is incredibly positive how you have turned your life around and are healthy and happy. Your mum would be very proud.
If you wanted to share your story to a wider audience with the British Liver Trust in order to raise awareness just message me.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I take my hat of to you sir. By sharing this story you are telling the world, that the younger people out there who think they are invincible (we were all like that once) are just as vulnerable as the rest of us, if not more so. I recently manned a stall on behalf of the BLT at Sandwell College, Nr Birmingham. Here I was not only able to talk about liver disease and of the medical consequences, but of the impact it can have on students in particular. The wild weekends, the raves in Iberia, and of the peer pressure and work pressure. The student-faculty are taking this seriously and are thinking of introducing a lecture on alcohol abuse and the raising of awareness.
You may not realise this, but many years ago I was once told these wise words, "You can't have youth, and experience". You are the walking acceptation to this rule James. You still have your youth, and you now have the experience too. But, surely the big question has to be, what do you intend to do with it? You really could be a voice for all students, and raise awareness with the people of your generation. There are so many younger people out there who have a total misconception of liver disease, "Oh, Liver disease, that's what old people get for drinking too much, I'm still young". The other one is, "Oh, I'm okay, if I need a new liver some day, I'll just get one". Mind you, my excuse is that I'm driven by a passion. Yours could be too. The British Liver Trust has a page on their website where people can post their stories: britishlivertrust.org.uk/yo...
This could be a start, I'm sure the Liverpool Echo would love to do a feature on your experiences. In those immortal words of Del Boy, "The world is your pilchard, my son". Get out there and spread the word and raise awareness.
Thank you, Richard I do want to help young people who are unknowingly self-medicating. and you are bang on the money, people have a picture in there head od what "someone" who does these things should look like, My friends would forever say your not an alcoholic you just don't know when to say stop. To which I replied like an alcoholic.
I feel obliged to spread the word and help young people. definitely.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
Thank you, Incredible! Take a bow, incredible feet of the human spirit that made me smile ear to ear It is indeed a mug's game, no prize in the bottom of the bottle like there is in cereal there is only a loser.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I personally hate the word Alcoholic, this I feel is just an American label. A person can have a alcohol problem without it being an addiction. Nearly all people on this site who have had an issue with alcohol in the past, and who have had that wake-up call, will tell you how hard it is to stop, but so many have succeeded and have managed to move on. All these people when ask would tell you that they once had a problem with alcohol, but have since moved on. They don't go around saying, "Hi, my names Richard and I'm a recovering alcoholic". People don't need labels. It is for this reason that you'll find I never use the word "alcoholic". Most institutions never use this phrase either. The British Liver Trust always use the word alcohol-related as appose to Alcoholic Liver Disease.
This approach helps so many people to accept their past, deal with it, and move on without having to be stigmatised.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
Well-said, Richard. To be honest, I had just blindly accepted the American “Alcoholic” label until I read your comments. I will start using your verbiage now. Thanks for bringing this awareness.
Thank you for sharing your story James. Well done at turning your life around. This message will give help so many people on here. I bet your family and loved ones are very proud of you. Keep up the good work and take care.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I love your story and I’m so glad you’re doing so much better! If you don’t mind me asking, what is a hepatic liver? Did they diagnose you with cirrhosis? Alcoholic hepatitis? I ask because my fiancé was told on December 27 that he has cirrhosis and it’s end stage (caused from drinking). He quit drinking immediately and looks and feels so much better, though he has lost a bit of weight that worries me but I think it might be from quitting all the whiskey. I’m just hoping for an amazing turnaround like you have had
Thank you Yes It was alcoholic hepatitis, I assumed how far gone I was that it was either Fibrosis or Cirrhosis but scans have proved otherwise. I'm glad to hear he feels and looks better, The Liver is an incredible organ and not poisoning it with alcohol has terrific side effects, regardless of the stage of Liver disease being sober is the key to victory.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I absolutely will! And I just want to tell you, I was also a heavy drinker for 6 years. Not a night went by that I didn’t drink at least 4 glasses of whiskey. The next day I would be so anxious that I would partake in a little hair of the dog. It got way out of control, I gained a lot of weight, my anxiety and depression was crushing, and my already existing heart conditions were bothering me constantly. I quit the whiskey May 1 and switched to having a cider or a glass of wine at night. I was afraid to quit completely because of my anxiety. Fast forward to December 27 when my fiancé (who was drinking whiskey heavier than I ever was) got sick and diagnosed. We both quit though I quit completely 6 days after his diagnosis. I still want a drink so badly at times, especially when I’m scared and worried. We all know that booze isn’t good for ones health, but most people don’t really know what it can do to you. I’m so very sorry you went through what you have but I thank you for it too. You are helping people like me to stay quit. I will not drink with you today!! 😊
Fantastic You sound incredibly strong, I have complete faith in you to stay sober, It's not all a straight road so if we say to ourselves beforehand this is going to be the toughest thing I have ever done when the problems arise, at least we can gain some solace in saying I told you so. Thanks for sharing with us, and Im sending you and your partner all the strength you need to stay sober.
Well done and well written James. As has been stated your Mum must be proud of the about turn you have made, and I am sure you are also happy to put this all behind you. My only word is one of caution. I am 16+ Years sober but know that for me I could undo it all with just one drink. I would lose the trust and respect of everyone I love most. So the one thing I do not do is take my sobriety/abstinence lightly. I happily use the word alcoholic, because I understand what that means. I was never a park bench drunk, I had a successful business but couldn’t accept myself or love myself so I sought affirmation in a bottle. It is genuinely fantastic that you are young and have your whole life ahead of you and hopefully alcohol will NEVER play a part in your future. Part of me is a little jealous as I didn’t stop drinking until I was 43, and being 60 this year, time seems to pick up pace the older I get.
When I was diagnosed with liver issues 5 years ago, I was told that alcohol did not play any part in my disease. I couldn’t stop laughing.....oh really. I have had a liver resection, an attempted transplant, been in a coma, my wife has been told to start making funeral arrangements, but I’m still here, making a nuisance of myself, enjoying every single day.
Reading posts like yours make me smile, and I really wish you all the best on your journey.
Thank you, the response has been really touching, I am very cautious and I approach my sobriety daily, I just tell myself I'm not drinking today and I have done that for 2 years now its worked wonders and the fact I get to look at my 2 daughters every day really cements that Ideology. Massive well done on the 16 years, Incredible achievement. That's great keep making a nuisance
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
Nice Job James! This story is a refreshing change to the normal stuff I read in here. I hope you always continue to have this view on your health. I have kind of been a slow learner with alcohol problems. It’s hard to say no to booze when, you haven’t had life problems to make you look hard at it. I had a lot of fun drinking in my life , but as it turns out, the body does get tired of it. Thanks for the inspiration!
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I too want to thank you for sharing your amazing story! As a mum of two I would be extremely proud of your brave fight and achievement! May the rest of your future ahead be a good one full of happiness !
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I cried after reading your story. I'm so happy you finally got strong and got rid of the demon. Alcohol is like devil, it destroys lives. Your mom is proud of you up in heaven. I don't even know you but I'm really proud of you. Kate
Thanks for taking the time to read it, and Thank you for the lovely words, The truth is my mother has done more for me in death than she could ever have done in life, not to downplay her role she really was an angel and moved heaven and earth to help me, the world only borrowed her for a short time, and I am so glad I got to call her mine if only for a brief time.
I quit drinking and kicked the demon out of my life, shortly after I lost my brother. I really believe, he had something to do with it, that I just one day decided to give up drinkong without any prior plans or that one last drink! It just happened by accident and that was 2 1/2 years ago. So yes, I think your mom and my brother helped us from up in heaven. Keep up the good work. Hugs, Kate
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
Well done James! You have faced so many demons in your 'still' young life. You will be an inspiration to so many people. Stick with it my friend. I wish you the absolutely wonderful future that you so well deserve. Very best wishes. Alf
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
What an amazing turn around, your dear Mum will be looking down on you and bursting with pride! I too am under Liverpool Roya, I asked my GP to refer me as I was not impressed with the gastro guy I was under. Looks like I chose well. Your story is something that highlights the lack of mental health support too. So many turn to alcohol as you did, unaware that its actually a depressant. There must be funding available somewhere to employ you to ensure all students are educated . You are young and your story is one that needs sharing! Others turn to drugs for the same reason. May be the Princes Trust would fund you? Prince William and Harry are supporting mental health awareness, their Mum was a Princess but that is no protection. Young people will be far more receptive to you, you will be speaking from te heart. Hazelx
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
Thank You! Really! the support I have received is unbelievable, The Gastro team at the Royal are incredible, I wasn't the best patient as my anxiety would cause me to miss appointments occasionally, but they completely got it, and tried there utmost to make me comfortable. I really feel obliged to share my story, I know there are hundreds of thousands of young people, I could directly be impacting. I'm now in a position of strength and I will push forward in all avenues to try and help people who are suffering.
Congratulations and thank you so much for sharing your story in the hopes that it will help someone.
I’m that someone. I have 2 sons, living just outside Warrington, who both apparently started to misuse alcohol in their early teens. They are 38 and 40 now. The eldest is a steady drinker, we call him the ‘functioning alcoholic’. He point blank refuses to change. The youngest is/was a ‘binge drinker’ whose sober days are now few and far between. Several days into his binge he can’t stand let alone walk and is prone to fitting. We have tried and tried to get help for him but, at the end of the day, he is the only one who can help himself. We found out he was severely abused sexually, emotionally and mentally. He started to really abuse alcohol when he started catering college and found that alcohol helped to stop his tremors, (Essential Tremors.) He definitely has OCD and we think PTSD. He now thinks he has something called ‘Pure O’ (a form of OCD.) He has no friends and the social isolation is sending him slowly mad. He desperately wants to stop and we managed to get him a Psychiatrist appointment (which we hope will lead to a Psychotherapy appointment,) but, unfortunately, he postponed it till end of February because he’d started on a binge and wouldn’t go. His sisters have told him they want nothing more to do with him if he continues to drink which has hurt him deeply. His older brother goes to visit him bearing alcohol and takes him to the pub even when he’s been stopped for a few days or a week.
Your story has filled me with hope for the future and as soon as he’s next sober I’m going to tell him your story so he can see that he CAN do this, that he doesn’t have to remain the ‘drunken bum’ that he calls himself. Thank you so, so much for giving me hope.
On the matter of you wanting to help others I wonder if you’d be interested in a group based in Huyton called the Lee Cooper Foundation (they’re on Facebook and I think the internet too?) A group of teens set it up after their friend committed suicide and they’re making a great name for themselves. It’s a very professional group despite their young ages and they’re managing to get funding from various sources. It’s aimed at youngsters of any age who are troubled and I think you would be invaluable to them.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there
I truly hope your sons will take this amazing story on Board. If they do start to at least listen Royal Liverpool has a first class set up, its a dedicated Liver Centre and so organised. One stop set up with tests done on the day. You can get referred under chose and book.I only had to wait 7 weeks and It is worth the trip. Im just off junction 23 of the M6. The first hurdle is perhaps the toughest, your sons have to accept alcohol is something that is going to harm them. I worked with a group of young adults who had drug and alcohol problems. They had all been given ASBOs due to their behaviour in the town centre. Every single one had a back story and it was apparent they all self medicated .Your boys are fortunate that they still have your support. I spent months liaising with parents who could no longer cope with their son or daughter's behavior. I succeeded with more than one parent in building a bridge. It was a wonderful part of my job. Most had no home, so this was another battle ground. Getting them to volunteer for detox was another. 2 would accept no help, they were jailed regularly for breaching their ASBO. I managed to convince the others not to breach, which was difficult at times. Wishing you every success in finding a way. A mother's love knows no bounds Hazelx
Thank you so much for sharing, as you said the key is to approach this when he is sober. The amount of hurdles he will have to overcome might seem like climbing a mountain right now, but the first steps are crucial, I really think the psychotherapy, will give him some clarity provided he is willing, the old saying is true you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink it’. I would love to hear back from you, and please do let him know I am thinking about him, he is not alone. Tell him my story and spark that change.
I have started a facebook page, and a Foundation to help hopefully get some funding from the Princes Trust to embark on the road to help thousands, please join me over there facebook.com/The-MitchellSt...
Is it the Mitchell & Star foundation? That’s the only one I can find but it’s not your name. Thank you for taking the time to answer me and I certainly will tell him your story to encourage him 👍
My real name is Mitchell Balzan, when I signed up a year back I wanted anonymity, I didn't know what to expect, But I'm quite happy to share it to all you lovely people now.
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It seems I lost some liver- anyone seen it? 🙄🙄
