How to resist 'drink pushers' during the festive season

This subject is really for those out there who have decided to stop drinking, either by choice or because they now have alcohol-related liver disease., or another alcohol induced medical condition.

Making that conscious decision to stop, is the first step, and the most important one.

I think most people will agree, that when taking that very first step, it's our very own conscious thought becomes our worst enemy. I used to think these as being voices in my head, "go on, have one... you know you want to, one's not going to hurt you... go on".

I had often wondered if these voices were in my head or if they were even real. Either way, we all have to find a way of dealing with this, especially when we are first starting out and our resolve is weak.

I have enclosed a picture of what I think my conscious voice looked like. This little fella is completely invisible, but sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear... "Go On, have one".

The other thing to remember is how your friends accept the news that you no longer drink alcohol. I true friend would encourage and support you, even by pain of death, "If I so much as catch with a pint in your hand, I'll kill you myself". The friend you don't need in your life, is the one who say's, "Go on, have one. One's not going to kill you". This is no friend and should be struck off your Christmas card list.

So, how do we deal with those, "Drink Pushers"? Once again as if by magic, maybe the BBC has the answer. This health news article was posted up yesterday and offers some sound advice for those who may find themselves in a similar situation during the New Year celebrations: bbc.com/news/health-46632332

I hope some of you find this article encouraging. I'll be out seeing in the New Year with family and friends. This will be my fourth alcohol free New Year. And, I suppose I could include a fifth dry January year in all this too.

There's wishing you all a Happy & Prosperous New Year.

[bintcliffe]

Well done Richard64 this has been my 2nd sober Christmas and here's to many more I wish you well!!!!😃

[Hidden in reply to bintcliffe]

May I ask please if you had issues with those voices telling you to have a drink? The triggers were hard to deal with too. I think it took me a whole year before I dare venture into a pub. I just didn't trust those voices.

[bintcliffe in reply to Hidden]

Hi Richard not when I first ventured into a pub with my partner because all I had been through (triple organ failure in a coma) was still fresh in my mind but now I am stronger yes I do but I also heard them more clearly when I was drinking I have a friend who has been sober for 10 years and he says every year it gets easier I just keep telling myself this I wish you well 😁

[Hidden in reply to bintcliffe]

Many thanks for your kind reply,

[farranccc in reply to Hidden]

If is not just internal voices trying to rationalise the reasons why one drink is ok or your friends and family encouraging drink to wind down but every tv programme, every magazine, every supermarket promotion, airports, bus stops, everywhere!

It is a wonder that people do manage to avoid it but I hear the youngsters are doing well and fighting back with some promising statistics for the under 25s...

[Hidden in reply to farranccc]

These are an advertisers dream. We call them triggers. Some advertisers know how to use these triggers to good effect.

It is said that on average, if you were to walk down your local town high street, by the time you got to the end, your brain would have seen at least 2000 advertisements. Most of these, are just processed and ignored, but if you happen to have a drink issue, then these adverts jump out at you. Heineken, Carling, Prosecco, etc. As soon as an advert is identified, it triggers a response within the brain. Its these weaknesses that advertisers use in order to plant that seed. These triggers are all around us, like you say. The side of a bus, advertising hoardings, even TV. The Queen Vic, The Woolpack, The Rovers.

It's about you having to come up with a coping mechanism for everytime each time you confront a trigger. For me, this is now simple. I made a promise to my donor, that l would look after this liver, so l think of them whenever l feel tempted. Now for me, those demons are now no longer a threat. I can pour my wife a glass of wine, l even went a brewery trip a few years ago. Now I just look upon all alcohol with contempt and discussed. But l want to be able to use my experiences to be able reach out to others.

[Garyvh]

Luckily none of my friends have ever tried to get me to drink again, even though they drink a lot.

A couple have asked me if I am OK just to have one now and again, just out of interest in me I suppose, and certainly not to goad me into drinking again.

Also I don't really get the voices. I get passing thoughts that come and go in an instant, but I think that is the habit side of things. I'm not climbing the walls fantasising about drinking or anything.

Having said that, I do know I need to be alert to the dangers of complacency!

G

[scampi2122]

Well done Richard, yes it is a problem those voices, I just have to shut them up, one did suggest I could just try the Prosecco in the fridge, but I didn't, I had a Blood Orange San Pellegrino instead. This Christmas day I went to the pub with the kids and dogs after a walk, for the first time I had an alcohol free Heineken beer, enjoyed it, just didn't notice I was drinking it, so happy days.

One thing I really miss though is not using wine in cooking, I do eat sauces, gravies etc with wine in, but never use it myself as I don't want wine sitting around the house. Any ideas?

[Wass71]

Hi Richard, when I had two young children I stopped working shifts as a midwife and worked in public health. I managed two pcts stop smoking services in north London. This also involved being part of the tobacco control advisory group for pubic health England. They used a number of strategies to reduce smoking prevelance, which included banning cigarette advertising, sponsorship, in conjunction with health information about the dangers of smoking, using real people and most importantly a comprehensive national stop smoking support. I strongly believe this should be implemented to reduce alcohol consumption.

I know you've mentioned before we are only years away from an overwhelming number of people needing transplant due to insidious drinking, and obesity its about time the government recognised this. Although this government have handed over public health to local authorities, and we know how much money they haven't got!!!!!

I hope your demon stops bothering you soon .

Best wishes

[Hidden]

Hi Richard64,

I will confess I did not read the attached article because hubby is beginning his 4th year of non-drinking.

We had friends back in the day when the kids were younger and so were we, who decided for themselves to cut back on their own drinking, but were always so very happy to keep my husband's glass filled to the brim. Of course they would occasionally laugh or complain to me that he was drinking too much - while filling him up and since they were his best friends he ignored my complaining then, I mean why would they not look out for him !!

Still have a fair amount of bitterness toward them, as one can tell. I was not much for drinking once I left college and we did have one couple we spent a lot of time with who never pushed it, even when they both were having a drink.

I would have been happy if my husband [or myself] could have found a way to get them to stop doing that. I think now, and thought then, that they kept him in booze as a way to drink by proxy and to feel superior, but that might be my anger.

Best wishes and a Happy New Year to you and yours.

Mary

[readie56]

Hi Richard

It's socially difficult not drinking I know that much.

I haven't had a drink for two years (not that I ever was a drinker per sec).

Your real friends will understand you can't drink and not make you feel you should. If anyone does push you please tell them to **** off as they are no friend to you.

I know it's hard saying no to all the things we used to like but, the Transplant is our last chance dance and I want to live a full life afterwards.

This is how I deal with my situation, no magic answers just do what you know you must do.

Hope this helps in some way.

I'm happy to chat privately if you want on messenger.

All the best

John