Days and months

[Foxman555]

I'M VERY SORRY THAT I MADE A MISTAKE, IT'S 11 DAYS, SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION.

[fluffylottie]

Well done, everyday adds up as you are seeing... it'll be 11 weeks in the blink of an eye believe me! I'm on 7 months now and each day is a triumph.

Keep it up, you're doing fab!

Charlotte xx

[Foxman555 in reply to fluffylottie]

Thanks Charlotte, I know it's early days (11), but I'm giving everything I've got into beating this, it's ruled me for too long, now it's my time hugs.

Jeff xx

[Isabelle2]

You’ve sounded so much brighter recently. Keep up the good work.

[Foxman555 in reply to Isabelle2]

Thanks still early days but going well how are you xx

[Smyally]

Keep it up Jeff. You’re doing well 👍🏻

[Foxman555 in reply to Smyally]

Thanks, apart from my brain going getting my days and weeks messed up 😂😂, I'm good are you ok xx

[Smyally in reply to Foxman555]

Don’t worry about it, I get loads of stuff mixed up. I’m good at moment fingers crossed. Take care

[Mandy1983]

11 days ,11 weeks ,11months,11 years it's good that you are passing through all these dates an are getting your life sorted out .its the only thing that matters so very happy for you 😁😁

[Foxman555 in reply to Mandy1983]

Stiĺl at my daughter's, not sure if my partner will have me back, don't know why I did this to her, we've got a good life together, I've just got to prove that alcohol is my past, I never learn,

Best wishes Jeff xx

[dougalgromit in reply to Foxman555]

Hi Jeff as a wife I can understand how your partner feels I have gone through this my husband is a fantastic man but I must say when he was drinking i didn’t know the man in front of me I have been with my husband since I was 14 and him 16 I have just turned 50 he hasn’t had a drink in 25 months and he is my husband and also my best friend he is very frail due to having maybe 2 cans of lager an evening to getting pissed at the weekend we are a very close family with our children and grandkids and that’s what keeps him going we are awaiting the call for his transplant I think what I am trying to tell you is never give up everyday you don’t drink is a blessing you have to prove to your partner that you will never touch another drink and then maybe she will learn to trust you again I hope things really work out for you

Good luck

Donna x

[Foxman555 in reply to dougalgromit]

Hi Donna, my partner says exactly the same, when not drinking I'm a nice man to live with, but then the drink starts I become such a prat, I've never been violent, just talk rubbish, I'm not at the stage your husband is in, it must be heart breaking, I was in hospital a few weeks ago,had all the obs which were good, I asked about my liver he said it was fine !!!! I said last night I had drunk 3 bottles if wine, I have cirrhosis how can it be, he said I could go my liver wasn't right, plus I collapsed and was unconscious for a few minutes, they are not interested in people like me.

Sorry went on for a while.

Best wishes Jeff xx

[Mandy1983]

It is hard on everyone when you drink isn't it ? Thing is your stopping for yourself as there is no guarantee your wife will take you back and IFF she doesn't, prepare yourself to stop because you want too.Best advice I can give you is you need to make a life for yourself and prepare to make one on your own.because anything else then would be a bonus.hugs to you for a good turn out xx

[Foxman555 in reply to Mandy1983]

Thanks Mandy, you always put things right, and give me something to that I can think about, if I lose her, it will be a double whammy, one good, one bad xx

[Mandy1983 in reply to Foxman555]

No problem ,just wanted to say IFF you don't be getting your hopes up as then in your head iff it doesn't work out with you an the missus, you can remove yourself by saying "LOOK I'VE STARTED A NEW LIFE FOR MYSELF" YOU WILL THEN FEEL A SUCCESS And not be feeling you've failed in an attempt to win her back an spiral backwards ya see?Remember our fate is there the day were born and we are with those people we're meant to be with but NOTHING lasts forever ,SADLY NOT EVEN US ,SO YOU need to concentrate on your recovery first an last ,IFF your wife is still there by your side it's a double whammy yes,IFF she isn't you will still be able to cope because you've set that goal of being and staying clean also to boot having your life back to enjoy breathing and having fun with activities an probably meeting new people .I used to thing change was awful ,ya know ,broken relationship ECT was failing ECT.I realised after quite a while it's actually normal that nothing lasts forever.we are meant to evolve and move on.Also I must say after I realised that,everything fell into place an I was happier in my new life as I'd made new friends ASWELL.when my organs failed and I died several times ,I never thought upon awakening I'd ever walk or smell the air outside again.i just thought I'd die because they told me "any day now you'llbe dead" funny thing is it clicked in my head that I had friends around me that had stayed with me for that year 14/15 in hospital, The most of my actual family were miles away had not even visited me in that time ,i believe they were scared they may have to pay for a funeral lol.it was at this point my brother daughter an 2 very long term men friends decided to take it in turns looking after me as I was they believed DEAD ANY DAY NOW,LIFE WAS HOPELESS WHEN I AWOKE ,I ALMOST GAVE UP,I WAS PARALYSED.LEARNING to walk an stand again though not like I had been anymore.id had last rights an Macmillan care several times.my daughter fought to keep my machines switched on against their advice,it was so frightening to hear it all and so upsetting to hear hear my family who I thought loved me didn't come near( several brothers n sisters)My brother an his wife never spoke to them anyway family rift.but on dying c' Mon it's family isn't it?? Not to them it wasn't. I'd had a realisation. THEY caused a row over telling lies about my brothers family and I stuck up for him knowing it wasn't true.also the other brother (much loved) was told by my then( nasty sister an nasty other brother) that me an my nice brother did not want to know the much loved brother??confused you will be hahha.while 2 nice sisters died along with my mum an dad .THE much loved brother believed that me an my nice bro didn't love him and he had moved away.ive always love my family deeply and so had my nice brother .yet i had one nasty alive sister an nasty one brother telling our other much loved one we had said we didn't care about him.it was so sad .I gave them a piece of my mind .as all this was due to MONEY AND JEALOUSNESS.we had worked our lives through and they hadn't.Anyway I died an no one can either than my one brother an daughter in my family ,the much loved one I know was not told I was ill.the other 2 stuck together.i accept we can't change the world or their feelings.what I don't accept is lies they made up about a real nice brother or myself.for who's gain? Idk. The nasty sister died last year( sister 3) and sadly we were not even invited to her funeral.i found out where she was buried to go an pay my respects.as annoyed I am ,I'm not spiteful and she was my sister.my nice brother being so wounded never now would forgave her those lies an he sadly did not go.saying it was her own doing.SO YOU SEE ,LIFE IS SO SHORT,WE NEVER CAN ALWAYS GET THINGS RIGHT IN THE END BUT ITS IMPORTANT WE SEE IT AS IT IS.WE GAVE TO LOOK AFTER OURSELVES HEALTH FIRST.we can be angry or sad or Happy.its in our minds.That day in hospital were I wanted to feel the air on my face and I could hardly breath and I knew I wanted to live,not DIE. I knew I had to stop trying to solve the world's problems and start right here looking after me an the people who had stayed around me ,LOYAL when they had nothing to gain.There for me when no one else was.friends of 30 yrs closer to my personal crap literally seen all an stood by me.THAT IS HOW I AM TODAY .I NOW CAN CHANGE MYSELF ,WASH MYSELF ,STAND AND MOVE MY ARMS SMELLING THE FRESH AIR DAILY .ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS BREATHE.Without it we are gone .like my 3 sisters and mum an dad.we need to live first and over the last 3 yrs things have fell into place .LOVE can be by anyone who wants to be their for you an you them.only rely on yourself.At my funeral I have already seen who will be there.sorry to go on but leave them your legacy in kindness an thoughtfulness.Pain is bad enough in the body HOWEVER DONT LET ANYTHING ROT OUR MINDS OR ORGANS.Mine was caused through azaithioprine an I'm angry enough their leaving me to die when they could of tried a transplant .I don't qualify for one .I'm now too I'll to have anaesthetic they say.Hang on don't you actually die when they transplant your liver until they reconnect you?? They knew those drugs were shaunting into my liver for 3 yrs plus.so why keep me on them?? Until my 3 organs failed and bone marrow, lungs ECT .If I can pay they say they would do it , ? But in another country of course.i can't pay.im 52 was not ever drinker .However that doesn't mean we All should not have a chance of life we should .we all have vices food, speed racing ECT. Addictions are things that challenge us.only WE can do something about them. Mine is now food,I'm on a mission now to get justice and a transplant on nhs . I'll pester them to death for sure.whilst I'm breathing ( touchwood) I'm fighting for it as I've the letters saying I'm in 4th stage failure with cirrhosis due to the medication they have gave me an they knew it was a shaunting into my liver? For 3 yrs plus.so I say to you .I'm so sorry for going on an on ECT but fight with every bit of your body for YOUR OUTCOME TO BE WORTHWHILE.SMELLTHE AIR.FLOWERS BIRDS TWEETING .LET GO OF YOUR DEMONS,FORGIVE YOURSELF AN BE KIND TO YOURSELF.WE ALL HAVE CRAP IN OUR LIVES .WHAT WILL BE WILL BE.JUST FROM NOW ON GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL AND HAVE AN LEAD A HAPPY NEW LIFE.YOU MAY BE SURPRISED LIKE MYSELF.IM HAPPIER THAN I'VE EVER BEEN IF YOU TAKE OUT THE FACT IM DYING.IVE LOVELY PEOPLE AROUND ME .THE SHIT IS OUTSIDE STILL THOUGH YA KNOW GPS,SOME PEOPLE JUST NEED TO RUIN YA DAY BUT I JUST SMILE AN MOVE ON PAST IT .TRY IT IT REALEASES ALL THAT CRAP OF EVERYDAY LIFE .LIVE EVERY MINUTE LIKE ITS YOUR LAST.SORRY FOR MY SPEECH I WAS FEELING QUITE SPIRITED THIS MORNING. DEPRESSION CAN BE A KILLER TOO .BE HAPPY and don't let others make you feel down .Toxicity is around us everyday in one form or other .Together we can change the world to a better place.one SMILE can help the sad .a hug ,a love ,a kiss ,our grandkids will remember us from what they see an do with us. Make our futures children happier I say an yourself .xxx I'm done in now off for a sleep haha

[Foxman555 in reply to Mandy1983]

Wow Mandy, that is some story, and your life, I'm so sorry you are dying, and your immediate family are squabbling, yes it is your life and you only get one shot, but I hope within our life's we find a drug and therapy to help us, no body on this earth wants to drink what is the outcome, I had a severe bacterial kidney infection, I almost died, but you fight I couldn't walk I had to learn to walk again, that was also the time I was told I had cirrhosis I had been in hospital about weeks and when the consultant told me I could leave I felt really happy, they done some blood tests and the doc said the infection had come back I had to stay in I was so disappointed, but life goes on, Mandy your story really touches my heart, I hope and wish all of your dreams come to You.

I write poems this is one.

When I tell you that I love you please believe it's with You when your down and unhappy I'll be by your side, holding your hand,

But if I ever say goodbye, please please don't cry,

Because the day I'll be saying is the day I die.

Big hugs Mandy xx

[Mandy1983 in reply to Foxman555]

Thank you ,your story also touches my heart and your poem is lovely and so touching too.my sister's died of cancer all of them now and your poem is most lovely as my dear sister mean used to love poems.im a painter and are designer I had some shops b4 I was ill an travelled as well selling accident insurance to business out that took me all over and what a laugh I had too.Being the baby of the family I was yrs younger than all my brothers n sisters and longed for babies hahaha now I have two grandchildren as u know.They were a miracle. She couldn't have kids at 33 she had my first and now my 2nd all by csection after all those yrs trying.my dream is complete almost.A liver and a holiday to the states I want next lol doubting I'll ever get one I've decided to party with those kids now on my good days .like you I tire easily an always have a good friend on hand to help.keep those poems coming I'm reading an waiting .Have fun today x sorry bout ling texts lol just realised how long it was PMSL.im a rabbit today OBVIOUSLY lol xx

[Brett11]

Glad that’s sorted. I can cancel my doctor haha. So I haven’t been in a HE episode for 11 weeks then lol.

[Foxman555]

No think that was me mate, if I carry on its gonna be back to the future lol

[missunites]

keep at it hun and it soon will be 11 weeks then 11 months, you are doing great and I bet you feel on top of the world at the mo, Remember what I said every day without is another battle won

[AnnaTT]

I remember the early days, it was really hard for me. 11 days is fantastic! I was counting the hours back then, it's a cliche but it does get easier and becomes 'normal'. 4 months for me now, it's nice to feel healthy mentally and physically. Maybe that can help you. Really wish you all the best. If I can do it so can you x

[Foxman555 in reply to AnnaTT]

Thanks Anna, every message I get helps me, I have to be determined, and I really am now, no more booze xx

[Faithfull]

Made same mistake thought it was four yrs and it was three .