British Liver Trust
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My dad was told he had ald 4 years ago

Hi I'm Sammy age 29 my farther was diagnosed four years ago he's always been a social drinker. most of it stems from where he worked on the council going out with friends after work. he's not told me how bad it is 😢 but he's been in hospital over a week now with inflammation of the gull bladder he as a good day then can go poorly again he's not a big drinker any more but does have the odd few now and again. doctors are not telling me much but he looks really poorly sleeps a lot and gets confused I'm scared I don't want to loose my dad but seeing him crying tonight as been the most difficult time in my life I've tried my best to look after him but I can only do so much at home I don't no what to do to get answers it's so hard I'm not sleeping and have not appetite as I'm so worried I don't no where to turn

5 Replies

Hi Sammy

Really difficult for you and very upsetting, I know because my Dad was in hospital over Christmas last year with end stage liver disease caused by an auto immune disorder, the cause is irrelevant, it's heartbreaking to watch.

I notice you have 3 young children as well, I also have 3 children but a bit older, my youngest is 13, but trying to look after a parent as well as your own family is really tiring and stressful.

I'm guessing from your post that your Dad is still in hospital? If so, can you not speak to the doctors privately and ask them to explain exactly what is going on with your Dads health and what treatment they can offer. I know it can be a bit daunting but sometimes you have to be their voice, when they're poorly they don't process information the same.

I frequently asked for updates on my Dad and just today I've spent the day in hospital with my mum who has just started chemo after being diagnosed 4 weeks ago with cancer and have done the same again. Unfortunately, if you don't press they're not always forthcoming with information and the person who is unwell isn't generally in the right frame of mind to ask.

Thinking of you.

Jacqui xx


Hello Sammy, so sorry you find yourself in this position. Al.anon ( just type in to search engine) offer advice to friends and family of drinkers. Jacqui is right, you or another family member really need to be with your dad when he speaks to doctors, it sounds as if he may have Hepathic Encology (think that's close to spelling) or H.E. It,s when the liver cannot process toxins properly and leads to confusion. You really need to arrange a meeting with the Doctors and get a clear idea of the situation, Dad cannot ever drink again, but I guess you know that. There are people here with a wealth of information when you have a clearer idea of the position. Best wishes, Please look after yourself, anne.


Hi, It's understandable it is painful to watch a person who is ill suffer. Only doctors can tell you more and what the next move is, as for you try if you can to get him to stop drinking altogether. Worrying as it is try to stay stress free, as for your self, take a little time to relax during the day. Just be there for him it's not a death sentence just a little life changing. I hope all goes well for you both..


Have you asked to speak to the doctors to explain things. Unless your father has specifically said he doesn't want you told, the doctors should speak to you. Explain that you need to know more so you can see what help he will need when he comes home. If you work you may need to have care come in. The leaflets from the liver trust are very good and can help you understand the basics and then you will nderstand more when you speak to someone. Hope this helps.


Hi Sammy,

With your dad's consent, you could ask to have a meeting with his consultant to find out exactly what is happening and what the plan is.

In addition The British Liver Trust have lots of useful information on our website see link here;

If you'd like to talk then our helpline is open Monday to Friday 10-3pm. 0800 652 7330

Warm Wishes



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