Of thanks to route acquaintances one doesn’t... - Bridge to 10K

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Of thanks to route acquaintances one doesn’t know but one will miss

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10
22 Replies

This morning, I ran my 2nd run of week three on my return plan ( healthunlocked.com/bridgeto... ) and a little handcut and scribbled message at the start of my route greeted me sorrowfully.

And it stayed on my mind throughout my run.

It said:

“Colin & Friends, Sadly, Jane passed away in the early hours of Thur. A”

Now, I don’t know who Jane was, or even Colin or A. But throughout the run, I kept on pondering who these names belonged to and fearing for who I might not see on my route ever again.

Was it the dog-walking lady, the one with three different-sized dogs, that always desperately tried to keep their leashes untangled?

Was it the lady that always walked with a similarly aged gentleman, both with a husky that seemed too strong for their age?

Was it the lady in the electric wheelchair that every morning zoomed along the soft trail paths?

Or was it the very elderly lady that seemed to always jog, even slower than me, whilst accompanied by a younger lad? 

Who will I miss in my future runs along this route? And even if at this moment I do not know if I’ll be able to pinpoint who of my route acquaintances this note was about, I feel already a sorrow of having lost someone who has, just by their presence or a word or a gesture, had made me feel less alone on my running route. 

So, to all those who give a runner a smile or a wave, I thank you. You are appreciated. You keep this and probably many other runners coming back to running our dear routes through woods and fields, through rain and cold and heat. 

I thank you.  

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CBDB
Graduate10
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22 Replies
MissUnderstanding profile image
MissUnderstandingAdministratorGraduate10

This is a really beautiful post and it’s got me thinking about all the people I see regularly but don’t know beyond a smile and a hello. Those small acts of friendliness and encouragement really do make a difference. Thanks for bringing these people to mind ❤️

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toMissUnderstanding

They do (make a difference). 🥲😌🙏

GoogleMe profile image
GoogleMeGraduate10

Wow, I'll be thinking about this for a long time.

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toGoogleMe

🙏🥲😌(As we run, we also experience the social interactions that hold our society together)

LottieMW profile image
LottieMWAmbassador

this has got me thinking about a couple I used to see at the boating lake when I was walking regularly around it early morning. He would sit on the same park bench and she would walk around the lake, feeding the ducks and geese as she went.

With Covid and lockdown, I couldn’t walk there for a long time, and then I started running…

Nowadays (for various reasons), I go out at least an hour later than I did and I don’t see them. I have wondered if they’re still there first thing…or…

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toLottieMW

😌 these little encounters connect us in that little bit to each other, don’t they. Just a little. But enough to get emotional if we notice they are gone.

LottieMW profile image
LottieMWAmbassador in reply toCBDB

Yes. At some stage I must get my act together and get down there early morning…🤞🏼

61Lady profile image
61LadyGraduate10

What a lovely post.

Goodness this has really made me think. I see “regular” people on my early morning runs - mostly dog walkers but others too. Some wave, some say hello and some don’t respond. You see I always say hello and wave because it means I can still talk !

Like you I expect, I don’t know any by name but I would surely miss them if they were not there. Thank you for reminding me to appreciate unknown but important people around me.

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply to61Lady

🙏😌🥲” unknown but important” … exactly,

Oldfloss profile image
OldflossAdministratorGraduate10

Thank you for this...we pass so many folk and they us.

Your lovely post reminds us to think a little harder, take a little more time to notice , to appreciate those who keep us going, and maybe, be a little kinder to those in a world of their own. x

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toOldfloss

😌☺️🙏

OldManRunning profile image
OldManRunningGraduate10

During Covid lockdowns we moved a table and 2 cocktail chairs into our small bay window so we could observe those sharing our small place in the world through the long days. We watched evey day, coffee mid morning, Earl Grey mid afternoon and of course aperitifs early evening. There were 3 people who we never knew and still don't who really helped us through. The youngish couple walking their dogs twice a day, her petite with a matching dog and him tall with a large dog. Generally I knew when they were coming as my wife would start counting, I'd look up and he'd pass then invariably at the count of 20 she'd appear. The other was a younger lad who was running. He must have been doing laps as he'd pass us 2, 3 or 4 times. He also ran in the middle of the road, although now he is running on the pavement. My wife and I had many conversations about them, inventing histories and making up stories. With the normality of life returning we see them infrequently but we both agreed that they, who would never know, helped us greatly through those times. Thank you to all you anonymous people who entwine with our lives 😁

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toOldManRunning

💚💚💚 Love that. Yes. 🙏😌

It reminds me of why in my childhood and still today I love - what we call in Germany - “Wimmel”- Books so much. They depict live with all its unconnected, but still connected people going about their daily lives. They are cute, but also profound in that yes, everyone has their own life’s story, but we collectively also experience a bigger story together in a place.

Thank you.

Rotraut Susanne Berner’s Wimmelbuch
ChannelRunner2 profile image
ChannelRunner2Graduate10

Thank you for sharing this, CBDB , as it reaffirmed my resolve to try to smile at folks that walk or run in the other direction! Not sure if it's a German thing (I suspect it is) and I've noticed that people look at others from a distance but look away as they get closer and/or as I return their gaze. Tbh, I've been tempted to say "if you'd kept looking at me, I'd smiled at you!" I even noticed this today with fellow runners, so I decided that I'll start consciously looking and smiling at folks...

Incidentally, this is also one of the things that the historian Timothy Snyder recommends in his little book On Tyranny as one of the things we can do to resist a slide into authoritarianism. He hammered that book out after Trump got elected in 2016 based on his vast knowledge from studying how democracy turn into autocracies.

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toChannelRunner2

Wow! Nice! (Snyder reference). I hadn’t come across that, but there have been quite a few books that deal with underlying philosophical debates of humans are in essence evil or good, or in over simplified terms, do we need to have laws that keep us from reverting to killing each other (Lord of the Flies) or are we in essence good (like Bregman’s recent book Humankind) and that we need institutions that are designed to allow us to be good (trust rather than control or monitoring).

I think we runners are firmly in the latter camp, aren’t we? 🤣🤣🤣

nowster profile image
nowsterGraduate10 in reply toCBDB

Golding made a little mistake in Lord of the Flies: Piggy was short sighted. Short sighted people wear diverging lenses, but you need converging lenses to focus sunlight to make a fire.

I make a point of greeting as many people I encounter on my runs, even if the grumpy so-and-sos don't reply.

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply tonowster

He had it all wrong! I knew it! LOL 🤓

ChannelRunner2 profile image
ChannelRunner2Graduate10 in reply toCBDB

My brain finally spit up the name of the other book your post reminded me of, CBDB : Love 2.0 by Barbara L. Fredrickson. Fredrickson points out, among other things, that these "little" moments of interaction are actually very important for our mental health. They help us, for example, feel less alone when we're single and have similar physiological effects on our bodies as the "big" moments. So even when these moments might seem little to us, they do make a difference!

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toChannelRunner2

that’s great! I’ll look that book up! Thank you!

skysue16 profile image
skysue16Graduate10

what a thoughtful and interesting post…… thank you CBDB and others for their reflective comments.

Jell6 profile image
Jell6Graduate10

Bloody hell, so poignant 😪, I see walkers at various stages of my run. One couple never fail to wave and smile. I've seen them drive past me by my house too so they might be neighbours, I have no idea but they are friendly and I enjoy waving back.

CBDB profile image
CBDBGraduate10 in reply toJell6

Yes, I’ve begun to realise (a bit late in life) that happiness (and mental well-being) can substantially ”be made up of” the number of little positive social interactions we have, as we go about our daily lives.

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