Divorce due to breast cancer

[lathasrinivasan]

hi, I am a journalist based in Chennai and I am a breast cancer survivor myself. To increase awareness, I am writing a story on how breast cancer can affect marriages also. I would like to speak to women whose marriage has broken down because of breast cancer. Please connect with me asap.

[Hidden]

Latha sounds strange, Whats' the purpose of your this post please make it clear. Are you psycho oncologis?.

[lathasrinivasan in reply to Hidden]

I am writing an article on this for awareness on how men get affected. So i want to speak someone who has gone through this

[Hidden in reply to lathasrinivasan]

Ok. Thats good. But please clear who are you , bc survior, friend of bc survivor, caregiver, health care provider, social activist or other. We also have introduce yourself post where you can tell detail about you.

[lathasrinivasan in reply to Hidden]

ok. how can i edit the post?

[Hidden in reply to lathasrinivasan]

Go to the post. Near this recommend icon. select the cursor and edit/delete

[lathasrinivasan in reply to Hidden]

done tx!

[Hidden]

Well , Latha from my point of view, as being positive, I think the current scenario of breast cancer and relationship abandoned has been changed in India specially amongst educated society. The Angelina factor has also made a positive attitude in society. I see in hospitals many young women with their so caring and lively partner. Recently, I saw here in Delhi huge crowd running in pinkmarathone to support bc awareness. Well, I'm so glad to know , you are a journalist. Welcome on forum.

[greenbear]

Latha, welcome to the forum.

As far as I can see most of the husbands on this forum like manish etc are very supportive.

I also see a lot of young and old women coming with their husbands to the hospital I go to during chemo, surgery, radiation etc. Their husbands have taken leave to be with their wives during this tough time.

So I think the mindset in India is changing and this is a good trend, as the saying goes in sickness and in health.

So maybe you could write a more balanced article showing both sides of the coin and that would be a great inspiration for all those who cannot handle the psychological stress of dealing with breast cancer.

[shikhacanfightit]

I can't say for sure, but there might be many who are unable to handle psychological side-effects of breast cancer. I will encourage them to open up. But as far as I know, we are here to let people know that breast cancer is a disease that has a high rate of survivorship now. I hope that strong bonds and relationships do not break because of emotional or mental sufferings.

People should be encouraged to share what they suffer and be provided the right guidance to handle these situations. Latha, I hope your study/article opens up a dialogue about where to seek help for caregivers, and is not just a "point fingers at people who could not handle stress during cancer" article.

[kontak TeamBCI]

Hi Latha - its not always with all of us. As you can see many of our members get support from their inlaws - but don't understand what wrong has gone with you. Whats your age, & grade of cancer.

[shubhac]

I don't think bc causes marriage breakups in India - it perhaps cements them better.

[sumeet_shah Administrator in reply to shubhac]

Well said, shubhac. In fact, I regularly see that with most of my patients. The bond of love only strenghtens.

[Richa25]

Where you should come to the forum to give hope n strength you have come scavenging for weaknesses...we are here to give support to each other and be by their sides...please carry your research but hwre we are all bound by love care n understanding

[manish_vkg TeamBCI]

Richa, I like your last statement "we are all bound by love care n understanding"!!!

[MsLockYourPosts TeamBCI]

I believe that the role of caregiver is completely different from that of being a patient and that both sides need support. A patient can not possibly fully understand the pain of their caregivers, be it spouses, other family, or friends and how helpless they often feel any more than a caregiver can fully understand the fears and struggles that are part of dealing with being a patient, including trying to not worry your loved ones. I would like to see you write an article about resources for patients and caregivers and their different needs. I agree with the opinions others have expressed here. Asking people here to dwell on a sometimes unfortunate result of couples dealing with cancer is not what this group is about. Yes, it happens sometimes. I have seen it in the breast cancer world and in the world of leukemias and lymphomas. Usually, there were problems with the marriage already and that fact, not the cancer itself, causes some marriages to fail. Like others I have seen more cases of couples growing and becoming a stronger unit.

[manish_vkg TeamBCI]

pkenn, well said!!!

[kontak TeamBCI]

Pkenn rightly said - there are chances of dispute in the couples prior to the detection and then under the name of cancer - the divorce

[Richa25]

Well said pkenn...why blame the poor cancer