The dreaded day is getting close!

[Vgrady76]

Hi my angels.....Well i'm having my Lumpectomy on Wednesday, can't stop shaking, I'm struggling to think...eat....function, everything, I've only had surgery as a child, and don't remember any of it, the fear I feel is enormous, how I'm going to walk through that hospital door , is beyond me, I've got visions of my husband dragging me in, what's is wrong with me, I've had 2 c- sections, while I was awake, surely I can do this.....kind words please....I'm losing my grip!

[Jennydev]

Hi Vgrady76, I had a mastectomy in February, I was also petrified, but if was nothing at all like I imagined, when I woke up from the anaesthetic the only thing that I was aware of was that my nipple felt sore. I kept up with alternate paracetamol and ibuprofen, it was never painful just a bit uncomfortable at times. I hope this helps you, please don’t worry so much, you will be surprised as it’s not bad at all. Good luck and best wishes, you will soon be on the other side of the op. X

[Vgrady76 in reply to Jennydev]

Thank you for your reassuring words ....I'm just so worried about the being put to sleep,i don't know why!! I know the Care Team and my surgeon have my health and well being is paramount, I've always been in control, it's hard letting other take the wheel x

[Hidden]

Hi Vgrady76

It’s a very strange thing going to the hospital, waiting to be seen & ultimately going to theatre! I kept saying check my shoes 👠 👟 in case I do a runner, I wore the high court shoe to prevent me running!

You will find the inner strength, remember this Surgery is to get rid of a Cancer, you need it taking away & that’s what you have to focus on, we all felt like that & deal with it in different ways!

We’ll be here & can support you as much as you need, remember this is for your good!

Take Care

Thinking of You

Mrs Nails 💅🏼

[Vgrady76 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Mrs nails, I know what you are saying is right, I will find my inner strength on Wednesday and get this thing out of me, I just want to get on the road to recovery, and see a finishing line, I just want to get better, and put this behind me xx

[Hidden in reply to Vgrady76]

I’ve posted a little message for you, hope you can find it xxx

[Vgrady76 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Mrs nails yes I found it, next app I will get nurse or consultant to write it all down x

[Hidden in reply to Vgrady76]

Then a really good Website is Breast Cancer Care & you can get specific details from there on your specific type of Cancer, as there are many versions.

Take Care

Thinking of You

Mrs N 💅🏼

[julie_]

The best advice about the surgery for me was - Don't go alone! A friend of mine, a businesswoman, met me at the hospital and parked herself with her laptop the entire time I was there which was about 5 hours! The staff would pass by me and tell me - oh we just told Patti you're doing well. She was asking about you. That calmed me more than I thought it would! I have had surgery once and had gone alone.

I am nearing the end of my radio therapy and though I was stressed during weeks 3 and 4, I can now see the end. I have support from family, friends and colleagues and that has also been very helpful. My appreciation of everyone around me has grown immensely!

If you are in otherwise fairly good condition, the surgery is not that bad. I have been going to the gym through this entire phase, modifying my workouts as I go along. If I feel fatigued, I will rest. If you listen to your body, you can get through this. Hang in there!

[Hidden]

I had a mastectomy, and I thought it would be painful, it wasn’t at all, just an ache,which was ok with paracetamol, the drains were a bit of a pain, but it’s all worth it in the end if it gets rid of the cancer. I called mine the “Alien” and on the day of the op, it was exterminated, daft I know, but it worked for me, now I’ve just got to get my appointment with dermatologist over tomorrow, then hopefully full steam ahead.

Good luck for tomorrow, take care of yourself,and follow the advice your given when you leave,( they see this every day, and it’s all new to us).xx

[Trumps]

Hello. I so feel for you and the anxiety you are going through. I remember it well but after my diagnosis I just wanted to have the 'evil' lump out as soon as possible, I couldn't bear the thought of it in my body. Try to focus on the the thought that by tomorrow evening the cancer will be gone. This is a big step towards your recovery. Wishing you all the best. X

[Vgrady76 in reply to Trumps]

Thanks so much, yes that is the only positive at the moment, just want it over and done with, if all you fabulous ladies can do it....so can i xx

[TinyToes1959]

Hi VGrady, my heart goes out to you. The worst part is the waiting so try to keep your mind busy. I was the same as Trumps. I was terrified but the only way for me to get through it was to keep thinking about the finish line - as if it was some kind of marathon and I just had to keep going. Amazingly, that was 4 years ago and I'm due to go for my annual check up very soon. It is horrible, but stay strong and calm and you will get through it. I will be thinking of you tomorrow xxx

[Vgrady76 in reply to TinyToes1959]

Thank you so much TinyToes, yes you are right, let's get this bit over with, an then I can move on with the next bit, just need to know I will be ok!! My Consultant thinks I'm nuts an I'm in quite a good position , he gave me lots of positives last Friday, saying I was very treatable, and it's been got early, these words keep playing in my head like a broken record....x

[almostlifesize]

This is a shocking thing to have to agree to, having someone put you to sleep and then operate on you, so it's normal to feel anxious. Inside we are fearful children. Be kind to yourself and accept those feelings, don't try to push them away - but don't wallow in them either

When you had the c-sections the reasons were clear - you got a baby at the end. Now with the lumpectomy it's hard to see the benefit, it can feel like it's all about loss. But actually this is a step on the road to getting your life back. Focus on the gain.

Rather than relinquishing control, when you go to the hospital frame it the way you would with a spa session, a massage or trip to the hairdressers. Those hands are there to serve you, it's all about taking the best care of you. You can choose to let those healing hands do what they need to while you rest.

I managed a lumpectomy and I've had 2 c-sections so I've been where you are. Now I'm just ahead of you on the road, reaching out for your hand, saying you can do it. That's a wonderful thing you can do for yourself too, use your own name and say "......, you can do this." It lights up a different part of our brain when we hear our name, makes it so much easier. I used to teach 5 and 6 year olds and they loved this trick!

Final bit of advice - breathe. Slow your breath down and breathe as deeply as you can. See if you can make your belly move like a baby's. See if you can breathe a square - breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breathe out for 4, hold for 4. The oxygen is fantastic for calming down the amygdala in the brain, the stressed little fearful part, sending out all those hormones preparing us for fight, flight or freeze.

I don't know your name, but I do know you can do it!

[Vgrady76 in reply to almostlifesize]

Thank you for taking the time to message me, it means a lot, knowing you have been through similar to me it's so reassuring, I know I have to go through with this...there's no other way this nasty lump has to go, it's now an uninvited guest, I just want to open my eyes after the Op an say it's done, that part is over with, I've just been for my pre-op this morn I fit into a low risk for everything, so all went normal, and I can ask for something in the morning to take the edge off my nerves ....they are shocking!!!!

[almostlifesize in reply to Vgrady76]

That's all sounding like you can manage this, go you, low risk - hoorah!

There are lots of ways to relax do you have something you like to do that you know will help you rest? You might not sleep well tonight, but that's OK, it won't affect the outcome.

Just accept those nerves, they are completely normal and ask for help if you need it in the morning. You might find that you are completely calm when it comes to it, all the stress is in the unknown.

Sending my best wishes your way, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow. June is the anniversary of my lumpectomy!

[Vgrady76 in reply to almostlifesize]

You are so amazing....i can tell you what calms my nerves....talking to you lovely ladies, it really settles me down, to know you have all walked in my shoes Tommow gives me comfort, I will have to sort myself out in the morning, deep breathes and get to that hospital x

[JCwarrior]

Dear, just remember that it is a first step in solving your problem and stay alive. So, go ahead! Good luck tomorrow

[RuthJ]

Hi I had my surgery in Oct17 I was taken down around 11am and was at home on the sofa at 7.15pm in time for Eastenders. I have had 3 surgeries previously so wasn’t that concerned just wanted it removed. Positive thoughts and stay strong and tell this cancer you are getting rid of it and getting your life back. Good luck xx

[Vgrady76 in reply to RuthJ]

Thanks Ruth, I have to be on the ward at 11am, I've been told the surgery will be after lunch time, early afternoon, so not a clue what time I will be home, I don't care as long I Ok, and do get home that day x

[RuthJ in reply to Vgrady76]

Hi I am sure you will probably go home same day. Just remember to rest and if you are in pain tell them and they will give you stronger pain killers. I didn’t have much pain in my breast at all more under my arm from lymph node removal as my scar is exactly where your bra sits. And my top for radiotherapy I was very hot and red and bought a metre of silk from John Lewis and tied it round and chest like a sarong and it was such a relief. Big hugs

[Vgrady76 in reply to RuthJ]

Thank you for your advice xx

[MaryEB]

Hi, Vgrady. obviously don't know where abouts your lump or what size / state your boobs currently are in but I had a Wide local Excision last Jan. which sounds like what you will be having (Essentially this is taking the lump and a bit of extra aiming for margins of "good" tissue completely containing the "bad tissue" lump")

The surgery day whilst being a little surreal, after all you are perfectly fit and choosing to walk into the surgery not ill or in pain with say an appendicitis and having surgery to get better. So defiantly take a book / music / friend / work/ knitting whatever will distract you during the waiting time before hand - BUT It will go fine. The staff including the anaesthetist are great, understanding and all supportive. It will all be over very quickly and you WILL BE home for East Enders. just remember to get your driver to pick up a takeaway on way back!. You will be a bit battered and bruised but that's probably all. I was driving again (automatic ) in a few days and felt well enough, (the surgeons agreed) to have a knee replacement operation the week after. Plus another bonus. - My boob that was operated on is actually probably better looking, just a little more pert than the other one!! though it really is hard to tell any great difference. So a free Boob job whilst getting rid of the cancer!! and if they do end up really different then they will always look at evening things up as you want IDC. I haven't bothered.

You'll be fine. you've had kids, compared to that this surgery is a breeze. One foot in front of the other and you'll get there.

Kindest Wishes.

Mary X

[Vgrady76 in reply to MaryEB]

Thanks Mary I've been told that I've got enough boob to spare im 36 DD ,and what's being taken is ,not going to impact my size really, my lump is on the side of my left breast , so scarring shouldn't be to noticeable, it's just over 2cm so I've been told it's on the smaller size, and it's been caught early all this is Good! My Consultant said it's probably only been in me a couple of months so again, I take this all on board , my Consultant says I tick a lot of the positive boxes, so I have to trust him, I keep asking him ...Am I going to get over this....Am I going to recover from this! he looks at me as though I'm crazy! But I need to hear it from him for my own peace of mind, he says Yes Yes...you are going to be fine !

[Jennymary]

Just a thought, when you get to the ward tomorrow, look round at all the other patients, some recovering, others like you waiting their turn, my guess is right now they're all feeling as scared and anxious as you are, but you'll all be fine. I called my cancer my squatters and they had to be evicted as they didn't pay rent or do any housework xxxx

[Vgrady76 in reply to Jennymary]

Good tip, I've just been to Breast screening unit, to have a X marks the spot put on me, so it's all just a waiting game now, I will post an update Tomorrow x

[Hidden in reply to Vgrady76]

You may have WiFi on the Ward how things have changed, so you can post if you want or need to, there will always be someone about!

Sending you good thoughts & positive vibes 💕

[Vgrady76 in reply to Hidden]

Hope there is Wi-Fi...

[Haybeans]

Hi Vgrady76. I’ve been on here a while but never replied or written anything! I had a lumpectomy in November last year and was exactly the same as you... terrified of being put to sleep and feared everything.... and it didn’t help when people told me there was nothing to worry about! I felt about 5 years old when I said goodbye to my husband at the lift door! However, I really shouldn’t have spent the night worrying.. the anaesthetists were lovely and amazing.. we were chatting away and the next thing I was in the ward.... done! Went home a couple of hours later. Try not to over worry, you are in very safe hands x

[Vgrady76 in reply to Haybeans]

Hi, thank you for taking the time to reply, it means a lot you putting my mind at rest, I like you are afraid of being put to sleep, I don't know why!!! You have walked in my shoes so you know what to expect , now I feel a little bit better, now you have described the way anaesthetist was kind I hope mine goes the same way x

[Jennymary]

Hope your surgery went well, and you're now resting before taking the first steps on the road to recovery xxxxx

[Vgrady76 in reply to Jennymary]

Hi Jenny my surgery all went to plan, but my recovery was a bit wobbly, I home now all done, and taking it easy xx

[RuthJ]

Hi hope it all went well yesterday and you are home recovering xx

[Vgrady76]

Hi Ruth, thanks for asking about me, my surgery all went to plan , but my recovery was a bit wobbly, stayed in hospital a bit later than expected , but come home late last night, I now taking it easy xx😘

[RuthJ in reply to Vgrady76]

Look after yourself and listen to your body and rest when you need to xx

[Vgrady76 in reply to RuthJ]

Your definitely right Ruth, I've been in bed most of the day, got up to eat but now back in bed xx

[loobilou]

I'm waiting for a date for my lumpectomy in 3 or 4 weeks time, having been diagnosed only a few days ago. This thread has been a delight to read! Hope you are well on the road to recovery, @Vgrady76, and found all these messages as helpful as I have.

[Vgrady76]

Hi...I'm glad my thread has helped put your mind at ease....have u got a date yet for Lumpectomy?? Feel free to ask me anything you want i know exactly how you are feeling Hunny xx

[loobilou]

Thanks Vgrady76 no date yet, I only found out on Wednesday. Its small and manageable, doesn't appear to have spread but I'll need radiotherapy and chemo which was a bit of a shock, to say the least! Did you have chemo? X

[Vgrady76]

No hun....many factors come into place when your treatment plan is discussed, my lump like you was small just under 3cm , it was a hormone type of cancer likes yours also ER positive DCIS, clear margins were taken and lympnodes were clear, I'm at a low risk of reaccurance so my benefit of Chemotherapy was 2%....not at all worth it, so my Oncologist agreed with me that I could skip that part of treatment and just have the Radiotherapy x