Brain Injury or just the norm...?

[debs-86]

Background: Road traffic accident March 2014, I sustained a diffuse axonal injury. BI not initially picked up on CT scan, it was only picked up a couple days later through MRI scan during hospital stay (I was in hospital for 2 weeks). I was told by my family that I looked as though I was on drugs (my pupils were majorly dilated, I felt( the only way I have ever been able to describe it) as though I were drunk. Retrograde amnesia - I have no memory of the day of the accident except for one tiny snippet of pulling into petrol station some 30 mins before accident and that I would most likely never regain the lost memory (bonus...I don't want it!)

I was told that I would get better but it would take time. I was told by a neurologist in March 2015 (one year after accident) that in his opinion I would probably by back to 100% after another 12 months.

I feel that my recovery was quite steady and progressive especially the first year. However, I feel as though I am not there yet. I still get, what I call "funny head days". Trying to explain it to people is frustrating because how do you put it into words?! As well as memory problems when I have a funny head day I feel lightheaded, dizzy, drained, sometimes when I am standing speaking to someone I feel so wiped out and think to myself "I really can't be bothered standing here talking to you, I just want to go lie down"....and it frustrates me when people say "but I can feel like that at times...it doesn't mean its from the brain injury". I get so deflated/annoyed/frustrated!!

All the way through the accident I have always been of the view that it could have been a hell of a lot worse...because it could have!! I work in the legal sector and a lot of my work load involves road traffic law and so I see how some people are left as a result of injuries (if not fatalities!)...a little perspective goes a long way!

But as the time is passing and I still have memory problems and the funny head days I feel I have more questions now....like "Am I going to be like this forever?" (if so, fine, I will adjust...I just want to know).

I guess the whole point of this post is to ask...can you relate to this? Do you have these symptoms and also get frustrated if someone tells you that your sore head/memory issue/faint head/dizzy head etc could be normal...that "normal" people get these issues too?

I know that some people are coming from a good place and just don't want you to dwell/get stressed about the injury and the effect it has...but what they don't realise is that its more stressful when they do this because its frustrating when they don't understand or dismiss...especially when YOU know that you have a BI...but you're okay with that, you've accepted it (as much as you are able to accept it) cos we know we have to be okay!!

Also - I would like to say that I only really accepted that I had a BI in the past few months when I was finding out a little more information on diffuse axonal injury. I think there should be more help and information for people when they receive a BI.

Sorry for the long post guys! lol

[Elenor3]

Yes.....totally understand all the symptoms you have - and the feelings surrounding them and also the level of support you get once you 'look' well.

[Kayann]

Hi Debs,

yes, I can relate. Yes it is frustrating when you get responses like that, when you doubt yourself you need reassurance. Have you looked at information on Headway? It helped me. Calling them helped too. I appreciate what works for one person may not for another. Glad you posted. There is support on this community.