In the latest of our user health stories, John talks about erectile dysfunction and phimosis.
John is 32 and has both erectile dysfunction and phimosis is estimated that half of all men between the ages of 40 and 70 will have erectile dysfunction to some degree, yet it is one of the topics most men feel uncomfortable talking about to anyone, often even including their doctor. John has had ED for most of his adult life years, and Phimosis, a condition where the foreskin is too tight to be pulled back over the head of the penis (glans).
John is a member of the Men’s Health Forum online community on HealthUnlocked. This is his story…
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This is a very common occurrence. While to the individual, it is very embarrassing, it`s none the less common. My nieces boyfriend, who is 28, also had the problem when they first started their relationship. It has mostly resolved itself through the action of sex. It is really better that this problem is talked about with a GP where it can be corrected with minor surgery. I`m fortunate. As a war baby, all males were circumcised shortly after birth.
It's encouraging to hear this subject being discussed openly.
I started suffering from ED in my late 40s, and it's progressed since then - I'm now 63, and otherwise in pretty good shape - active, eat well, don't smoke, not overweight, good BP. Although medication - principally Sildenafil (Viagra) - did help for a while, it gave me bad headaches, which rather counteracted the desired effect. It now doesn't really work, anyway - certainly not well enough to perform normally. I've now resigned myself to that part of my life being over, which is very upsetting, and the future looks bleak. All of the normal human urges are still there - yes, despite being 63, which no-one tells you - but my body simply doesn't cooperate.
I'm single, and my last two relationships were ended -explicitly - by my partners because of this. This is very demoralising, and, honestly, quite a surprise. I had hoped that they might be less judgemental. It's hard not to become cynical. It's difficult enough as it is to find a partner at my age, and being branded as a dirty old man and a pervert simply for expressing an interest in sex just erodes one's self-esteem even further.
I suppose I need to try to find something to fill the void, but I already do plenty of things to keep myself physically and mentally active. It's difficult to stay positive and motivated. Our society may have a veneer of compassion, but all of the old prejudices and attitudes aren't far below the surface.
Hello Chris, there are other products on the market besides Viagra. Low B12 can cause ED. Of course there can be other reasons, anxiety being just one. I heard of a product called Gold Max from a friend, a single gay man with a very active sex life. He recommends it. There is a female version too that I have not tried yet, but I intend to. I have already bought it on line after reading reviews. The female version is Gold Max Pink. As expected, when I keyed in the name, some other products came up on the internet too.
An understanding partner would help, they are out there.
Yes, I gathered that. Thank you for your understanding, compassion and good counsel.
I'm sure anxiety is a key part if it, as I've increasingly suffered from it for many years. I've tried most of the non- medical solutions - yoga, meditation, exercise, hypnotherapy, dietary changes - but with only limited success. I do feel calmer now, but, sadly, the ED hasn't improved.
I will look at the medication you suggest, and thank you for that. As for the sympathetic partner question...well, that's another matter. The final rejection has stripped away the remaining shards of self confidence, and I feel I've run out of options.
I can just about reach climax on my own, but it's hard work, only results in a partial erection which wouldn't be sufficient for penetration, and it's a dark, lonely and unsatisfying place to be. Ironically, I feel now that I won't again have the opportunity to discover whether I've overcome the ED within a relationship context.
Hi geronimo1: I want to thank you for the two suggestions you made to Chris regarding ED. My darling husband is 69 and began to experience the same situation a couple of years ago. Neither Viagra nor Cialis does much of anything, nor do the over the counter preparations. He is otherwise healthy and has low blood pressure. I had not heard about the possibility of low vitamin B12 being an issue. I take it every day myself, as I have CLL plus an autoimmune disease, and think it helps with my energy level. I will now be MORE than happy to share my B12 with my husband! And yes, an understanding and creative partner does make all the difference. We certainly miss "the good old days" but try to find alternative ways to be physically intimate. Don't be afraid to experiment! You'd be surprised what you can "come up" with. (Couldn't resist that...LOL.)
My partner has a similar condition, but uses thick elastics, such as you might find on broccoli...he carefully applies them around both scrotum and penis in a neat package that works very well in every way. You may need to do some hair removal before trying this at home
Thanks for that suggestion, C-Lou. I would think that a "cock ring" would serve the same purpose, minus the "ouch" factor during removal. These rings can be purchased online in all shapes, sizes, and colors.
BTW, can someone please tell me once again how to "lock" a post or a reply? I'm hoping my posts of today on this sensitive topic are in fact locked. How do I check that? I don't see anywhere to click to do that.
You don’t mention if you have had any investigations for your condition to find out if their is any physical/medical cause. Same thing happened to me around age 40 and after a year or so of investigation I was found to have Haemochromatosis, a genetic condition causing iron overload. The iron stores in your body and damages organs, in my case the anterior pituitary gland which meant hormone responsible for sex drive and fertility stopped producing. Took me over a year to get rid of the iron, and with the cirrct HRT My sex life is fine at 68. Get you iron levels checked through a simple blood test (ferritin) and pituitary hormone function.
Hi Chris, I had similar situation, Viagra did nothing. I now take New Chapter vitamins called 40+ every man's One Daily Multi and see quite an improvement. I have also added 5 mg of cialis which has resulted in almost normal results. I highly recommend this.
So many male issues simply get swept under the carpet yet can have a massive effect on family life as things like this lead to so many other issues just sit back and think
To John, Chrispol and others.....Please read this through to the end.
I believe that erectile disfunction is more common than so far estimated or reported. I am of the opinion that phimosis is often a result of a lack of sexual activity (ie intercourse). Here is my abbreviated story:
I had always enjoyed a healthy sex life with my first wife but as I took on more and more responsibility at work I found that I was working harder and harder and our sexual relationship declined into non-existence. With four fantastic children and twenty years of marriage I found myself divorced and alone.
However there was yet more trouble around the corner. I began to realise that the decline in my libido was not simply that I had been too tired for sex but that I had E.D. I was also being treated for depression, anxiety and stress to the extent that I was pensioned off from my work before attaining the age of 40. Financially I was secure. Physically I was well. Mentally I was in a mess. I longed for the comfort of a partner but with that came potential sexual and I was frightened that I would not be able to perform.
By now my foreskin was so tight that it was not easy to pee without spraying my urine and I took to sitting down to pee. I even went to my GP knowing that he would be talking "circumcision" the "C" word!!! He did and I backed out when the hospital sent for me.
A few months later I had what appeared to me to be a bit of flesh appear on the bell-end of my penis. I gave it some thought. The bit of flesh got bigger....slowly but I could tell it was getting bigger. I gave it some more thought...and some more thought...and some more. When the GP asked me when I had first noticed the growth I thought that it was time to be honest and told him I had first noticed it about 6 months previously. He said that he really didn't know what it was though I saw him visible wince when I'd said 6 months.
6 months later the hospital stopped treating me for genital warts and tested for cancer. Penile cancer. Quite an unusual form of cancer it has to be said and I had it. As with most cancers the exact cause of penile cancer is not known but is most commonly associated with uncircumcised men.....actually uncircumcised men with phimosis.
If what I have shared seems to support all baby boys being circumcised then I truthfully wish I had not posted my experience. My intention was to help men with similar issues to those I have had to deal with. I do not believe that all baby boys should be subjected to such a procedure on any other basis than a medical need in much the same way as I am strongly opposed to female genital mutilation. I am somewhat disappointed that my reply of a day ago has provoked only one response and that being from cook4650 claiming that I had given "another reason for babies to be circumcised". Perhaps I should have employed the use of "elastic bands" to avoid my point!
My sincere apologies at any offense. My comment was never meant to be addressed personally. I obviously phrased the post and posted it inappropriately. I applaud all the suggestions regarding the issue of ED, as it affects me very personally. Again, my apologies, mark senior 35.
Nope! It is I that should apologise. You did not cause any offense. ED is a subject that I react badly to. This is not because of anything in your comments. I believe that sex is a very important part of our relationships. I truthfully believe that love and sex make for a deep and meaningful relationship.
I so wish I had been circumcised as a baby. I have two sons. They both had tight foreskins and both were circumcised as babies. I was a coward as an adult and refused to be circumcised even though I knew that I needed the operation. Penile cancer provided all the incentive required to be circumcised which, for anybody concerned in this area, being treated for such a condition is so not worthy of worry/being scared
So glad you and I are "OK." The decision of whether or not to circumcise our infant sons is definitely a very personal one. Our son is, but his two cousins are not. Our son did ask some interesting questions the first time he noticed the difference between him and his cousins when they were just small boys. He is 28 now, so I have no memory of how we explained it, but I'm sure he accepted it as just another way for boys to be. And I am so very sorry you had a cancerous situation. There seems to be so much cancer of so many different types now. My husband had colon cancer and I myself have leukemia. Hoping you are out of the woods now! Please have a very happy holiday season, and thank you again for your comments.
Another part is we are to 'Stigmatised' as years back the likes of the midwife etc would have checked the the male child over checking the foreskin goes back ok along with the parents but now it's just pot luck
I was as a War baby. I don`t remember anything of it neither was I asked. There are two of my brothers who never have it done, both younger. To date, they have no issues. I have two sons, both still have their foreskin which has never caused a problem. Forever and a day, those males in the family have been instructed to wash behind it.
Circumcision can actually lead to ED as the glans desensitized over time. There is never a valid reason to circumcise a minor. Only adult men should allowed to decide for themselves
My two sons medical history together with their consultants and surgeons involved disagree with you. For you to state that a foreskin that is so tight it is difficult for the baby to pass water is "a thing" that "never happens" is offensive to both me as their father and to their mother. I see no positive reason for this conversation to be continued. As for your statement with regards to my consultant who continues to be responsible for my cancer treatment "is wrong" I would ask of your medical qualifications which justify you making such a statement in order that I can put your comments to him at my next outpatient appointment. Look forward to receiving your reply jimfromcalif
I would like to respond to your comment publicly but your initial message does not appear in a format that will allow me to respond. Please re-format as I am certain that other members will benefit from our conversation(s) together with jimfromcalif 's input.
The most common cause of penile cancer is smoking. If hands are not washed before handling the penis, carcinogens are deposited. There had never been proof provided that foreskins cause cancer. It’s just a myth.
Try herbs like turmaric and ginger , avoid sugar , sugar increases estrogen ,build muscle and become a skinny ,I am 71 and going strong like just married
Just to be aware, as I wasn't for quite some time, that turmeric is classified as a blood thinner, even though it is an herb. My CLL specialist told me that it's in the class of compounds like aspirin, to be avoided if you are on ibrutinib. Not sure if this applies to you or not, but I wasn't aware until he told me.
Hi to all , my story may help some of you out there !! I am 72 year old . I have been lucky that although having had number of heart issues , they have not affected my libido or erectile function . This is until recently , when about three month ago my EP doctor changed my b-blockers from Metoprolol which I have been on for some 10 years to Bisoprolol . About one month ago I suddenly noticed ED during sex ( p.s. been married to my wife in excess of 40 years) . So I got in touch with my EP via an email and we agreed I should change back to Metoprolol , at the same time I started doing pelvic floor exercises . within a few week I have noticed ED has disappeared and it look as if I am back to normal , at least for the time being . I shall report back if thing change again . I would be interested to know if B-blockers have affected any one else ? Also if pelvic floor exercises has been of help to any one else ?
That's interesting, and encouraging. Can. You desciribe the pelvic floor exercises? I know they can be beneficial for women (I thought for incontinence, but please forgive my ignorance if there is more to it than that) , but I'd not realised that men could also benefit
This is a vital topic for us men and not just of passing interest to women. My mate Dave put this video together to help with incontinence and I am pretty sure that it will also assist with ED youtube.com/watch?v=QHwVglP...
I don't know how I found this page but I did. I think ED is more common than people think. I think for younger men it can just be the odd time where they get over tired or are stressed...I'm saying that because my son has had that sometimes. I think for older men who have it all the time it's much more difficult. My only suggestion that I can think of is to find an understanding partner if single...and don't attempt anything sexual before you've both talked it through. I wish you all luck
Hi John. There is a lot of material on the Internet which might help with your problems.
There are quite a number of medications to relieve phimosis, some of them available from high street chemists. I have never tried them because I don't have this problem, but users' reviews are encouraging.
I was surprised to read on the Internet that many men say that there is little, if any, connection between phimosis and problems in getting an erection. Before I became incontinent nearly five years ago, I always used to wear a small pad of tissue to prevent dribbles soiling my underwear and for the pleasurable feeling of my glans rubbing against it, causing erections from time to time. Now an incontinence pad does the same job.
I have read that it is possible to get an erection while having phimosis. Like C-Lou's partner, I have sometimes used elastic bands and shaving but do be careful. Good luck!
I've got ed. It's been an increasing problem for five years. I was diagnosed with pd last year. Jus recently I had another go with the gp about ed. So many failed promises/attempts in the past. Refered to an endocrinologist. Recommended prostaglandin. Back to the urologist who finally declared it will be neurogenic, ie related to pd. Prescribed vitaros. The weeks go by. It's not available. I can 'accept the situation and do nothing's, or self inject. Not keen on having needles cluttering the love best. Or get a pump. Or buy the stuff online. Doing nothing begs thew question as to whether I continue life into a solitary progression of pd. Really quite cross about the standard of medical help.
Actually it occurs to me that the movement disorder I was expecting isn't that bad. The dopamine seems to work and I take a few tramadol for the pain and depression. Getting old was never going to be easy but you can adjust. Try to accept. Seeing doctors though... The constant unspoken phantom dialogue with medics...
Phimosis is easily solved by stretching the opening of the foreskin. If the opening is really small, each side should be grasped and pulled apart, regripping as necessary, for five minutes, four times per day. If two fingers can be inserted, they can grip the skin and pull apart the opening. No pain should be experienced.
Thank you to everyone for their replies on this video story - it's great to have so many people talking about this. You can connect with others who are also talking about ED on two dedicated support communities on HealthUnlocked:
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