Log in
British Lung Foundation
39,935 members46,836 posts

Return

Hi I left for a while due to personal circumstances. Ready to reveal. My husband left me in the throws of my disease. Feeling really vulnerable scared bewildered and hurt.

Feel my breathing has got worse will know when I get my test 29th may. Results 3oth please pray even though I feel my lung capacity has decreased praying it hasn't. Not sure how I will cope

60 Replies
oldestnewest

Oh I’m so very sorry to hear your news. No wonder you feel vulnerable. Please feel free to chat to us as you’re not alone. We will be here for you.

I hope your breathing will be ok and I’m sending lots of hugs your way. Take care xxxxx

6 likes
Reply

Sorry to hear your news, must have been such a shock for you. Just want to send a hug and say try not to worry about the future, you’re stronger than you think and will develop coping mechanisms. Good luck with your results xxx

2 likes
Reply

I'm really sorry to hear your news. Hopefully your breathing won't prove to have worsened. I will pray that all goes well for you.

1 like
Reply

Welcome back, wishing you a future improvement in health and happiness. 🌝

Reply

Oh I am so sorry Emily - you must be devastated. Sadly it's not that uncommon partners can't cope when we are ill. He is the one missing out not you. We are all here for you sweetheart. x

8 likes
Reply

I am so sorry to hear your news. Usually the best place for keeping your strength up is with the closest to you but remember it takes a stong person to come through tough diseases and you are doing it so that tells you that you are strong

2 likes
Reply

Hi Emily, stay Strong Hun, Some men are not as strong, and you know you got through all your last Anxieties when you first came to us didn't you, Don't let this diminish all that Hard Work, We are here for you Hun. love n Hugs. xxxxx

4 likes
Reply

Dear Emily 61 it’s a tough world sometimes and we have to be strong no wonder you feel your breathings worse all the stress you’ve been through.Its time to think of yourself your health and happiness you may even realise your better off without an unsupporting weakling around take care I wish you all the best in the world

1 like
Reply

I'm so sorry to hear this Emily61 I often live in fear that my own partner will abandon me because my disease has let us both down. Please be strong and know that you have so much support from this group.

2 likes
Reply

So very sorry, Emily61❤️

Reply

Hi Emily 61 I join with you in prayer and give you this verse And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil 4:7.

2 likes
Reply

Hi Emily,

No wonder you feel vulnerable and you feel your breathing is worse, all that stress and heartache. We are here to listen to you.

Do tell your consultant (you don't have to give all the details) that you have been going through a bad time because it may affect your health on a temporary basis.

I hope you have a close friend to help you too.

Much love xxx

2 likes
Reply

a huge welcome back Emily . can relate to how tough it must be for you ! well he’s obviously shown his true colours !! good ridence to a bad apple ! you will be amazed at how much inner strength you will find . now time to put yourself first for a change look after no 1 and do as you Dam well please regards Davy boy xx

5 likes
Reply

Hi Emily-

So very sorry to hear about what you are going through. It is devastating that someone you cared about has left you, but he has shown that he was not strong or caring enough to stand by your side. His loss.

You have probably been feeling very stressed and that makes it feel as though everything is much worse. Keep doing breathing exercises and slow down the exhale breath if you are anxious, so you are doing 4:8 breathing for a bit. That really helps with anxiety. Hopefully things will feel brighter soon.

I send you love and light and best wishes for all the tests.

4 likes
Reply

I am sure you will cope to spite other things on your mind. Take care and best wishes for a good result.x

Reply

Really don't know what to say, just remember we're all here to support.

Reply

So sorry to hear all you're going through, Emily. All the best for the 29th May, but in the meantime, try to keep focused on today, and that which you need to do. We're all here rooting for you.

1 like
Reply

I'm so sorry to hear your news and can understand how you feel. I hope you find inner strength to get you through difficult times and that your forthcoming test results aren't as bad as you fear, although, as others have said, stress and anxiety can affect them so worth mentioning this when you go to your appointment.

Best wishes.

Reply

I am so sorry, what a rat! You may not think so yet, but When someone treats you like that you are probably better off without them. You are bound to be scared going into the unknown. It takes time to recover from shock but you are stronger than you think. Will be thinking of you. Sending hugs.

3 likes
Reply

Thats utterly crap. So sorry you have been going through this. Life can be so unfair. We won't leave you!! Social Services might be able to help you and get all the benefits you can like PIP etc. Stay around here. I will pray for you of course.

1 like
Reply

Hi Emily glad youve decided to put your hand out for help and there is a lot around. Plenty here to talk to and plenty out in the community that you live in. Its a matter of finding it. Ask to see the social worker at your hospital or ask your Dr and when you see your specialist next make sure you let him/her whats happening in your life as that will surely affect your results as its surely affecting your health. Emotional pain can cause a lot of physical damage and you dont need that. Big hugs sweetheart we all feel for you but I am sure you are strong enough to follow through and get on top of whats happening.

Danielle

3 likes
Reply

Dear Emily61 I am so sorry to hear that your husband has left you. You are going through a difficult time but glad that you are back and sharing with the group. I will pray for you that your health has not deteriorated. Hugs from Oz

Reply

So sorry to hear your news Emily61. Fingers crossed for your test. Good luck. Liz x

1 like
Reply

So sorry to hear your news, I know it's hard but be strong. Think about yourself now ❤ hope your results are better than you think x x x 🏵💮🌸💮🏵

Reply

So many men just cannot cope with severe illness and would rather turn away and leave which just proves he did not love you enough and you deserve better. Please do not despair as you are worth so much more than that and you will will once over the initial hurt pick up your life and do very well on your own. I know I have been there myself so think of all the positives and not any negatives and you will do ok. xx

1 like
Reply

Emily61 - this is unfortunate and it must be a really difficult time for you right now. Practically speaking, do you have someone who can support you? Have you been able to sort out finances? What about the medical care that you need? Would it help to make a list of the positives and negatives of his leaving? It might surprise you that there are some positive points.

We don’t know your particular situation so cannot advise but what about making an appointment with one of the medical staff at your surgery to see what help is available? If you have IAPT in your area you might be able to self refer to see one of their counsellors.

england.nhs.uk/mental-healt...

Breathing can be affected by a tense emotional state so don’t despair about your condition. Hopefully it will improve when things have settled down and you have come to terms with the situation.

You probably don’t want to hear this but in cases where people are unable to cope with illness, it can be worse for the sufferer if they remain. There can be an unresolved tension between them that can be very destructive.

Please try to get some help and support if you don’t already have this. Hopefully things will improve with time.

2 likes
Reply

Sending healing vibes 💛

2 likes
Reply

I am new to this site but wanted to say that I hope everything improves for you in near future. Take care of yourself.

Reply

Sorry to hear this Emily. Try not to worry too much. People are here for you on this forum. Keep strong x

Reply

Im so sorry to hear about your husband leaving and i dont doubt that it has hit you hard and you may be feeling confused but please take time to remember the good things you have in your life no matter how insignificant they might seem right now. The fact that you feel that your breathing has gotten worse may well be due to how your feeling emotionally, this can and does affect most people as it leads to increased anxiety. Do what you can to relax maybe read a book or if you have a hobby spend some time doing it, whatever it is just try to find time to relax as it will help with your breathing and general wellbeing. I hope you feel better soon.

1 like
Reply

Hope things get better for you ,I feel for you at this time ,but you and your health come first xx

1 like
Reply

Thank you all for your support

1 like
Reply

Illness seems to show up people's true characters - and what doesn't seem to come around for such people but who want's to be around such a person anyway at such a time. There is an old Buddhist saying - "who knows what is bad luck and what is good - i.e. new unexpected good things can result from a seemingly bad situation, so, as there are many decent or kind people (as demonstrated on this site) I hope that, even though your situation is extremely challenging, it may actually allow you to find new more positive people to enhance your life.

3 likes
Reply

Sorry to hear hubby left but please know YOU WILL come thru this and once your anxiety has calmed down you will be stronger. 🐞

Reply

Sorry to hear your news hope you get better news from consultant on the 30th

Reply

So sorry to hear your husband has departed. I will remember you in my prayers and hope you feel better soon.

1 like
Reply

Oh so sorry to hear your news but you’re back on the group where there is plenty of support to you.

I know that your anxiety and stress can bring on illness so I wonder if you can get some therapy a place to talk to someone. It will help you overcome the stress which in turn will help to enable you’re physical well-being . My heart goes out you x

1 like
Reply

So sorry you have to go through these other things plus your lung problems. We are always here for you anytime you need to talk. Praying you have good results on the 30th. Take care

Reply

So very sorry to hear your horrible news, Emily.

I am sending you lots of love and hugs, and really hope your condition hasn't worsened.

Reply

There is a special place in hell for a man who would leave you during this time. You may not feel this way but you are better off without him. Now you have total control on who you will allow to be in your life and support you. I don’t know if you have any spiritual beliefs. I couldn’y have made it this far without my faith in Jesus. From now on if anyone is the slightest bit negative keep them at a distance. There are people who will come into your life and help you now that “he” has gone. Right now it’s time to fight for your life. That life is well worth fighting for. You need to self care now. Surround yourself with uplifting music, get the App Insight Timer for meditation and positive guided imagery meditations and feed your body with organic plant based foods. You can add years to your life. We are all here to love and support you.

1 like
Reply

Hi Emily, I'm so sorry to hear that but so pleased that you've decided to come back. Mine did the same and, guess what, after all the initial turmoil I feel he did me a favour. You have so much support here so I hope you always know you can ask for help and support. Please remember too that stress has such a huge impact on breathing so don't go assuming your health is worse- it could well be stress! Best of luck with your tests at the end of the month. Thinking of you and sending lots of love. xxx

Reply

I feel a bit betrayed using blue inhaler every day without fail. Wasn't using it as much before. But good to know you came through it.

Reply

Of course you feel betrayed. (More than a bit)! It's a completely natural response. I still feel betrayed but other feelings have added to that over time and now I can see that I'm better off without and at least I found out now, early on, while I can still make changes in my life. I know 100% you'll find a way through and come out in a better place mentally. xxx

Reply

All of our support and love, Emily. Purse-lipped breathing slow and steady. The new one I've been doing is laying on the bed is inhale through my nose while keeping a hand on my stomach and feel for stomach expanding. Then exhaling through my mouth while also pushing down on my stomach to fully empty my lungs. It seems to help me.

1 like
Reply

Hi Emily, so sorry to hear about your situation. I pray will continue to comfort you each day and that He will continue to draw you close to Him. I'm also asking for reconciliation of your marriage.

I asking the Lord to give you a good result when you receive your test result and for complete healing. Just breathe in Jesus and exhale all negative feelings.

Thank you Jesus for Emily who you know by name. Comfort her and help her to have a good night's sleep tonight and I pray she will wake up knowing that there is hope. Amen

2 likes
Reply

That is beautiful thank you. I need to trust more in the power of God. Thank you so so much

1 like
Reply

Hi Emily

So pleased you are back in the fold.

Hope the shopping trip went well.

Did I not tell you how many friends you have here? Now you can see for yourself.

Good wishes always.

Reply

Hello dear friend. Got over the shame. Shopping went well was tired the following day. Thank you for allowing me to express myself. Still hurt. But I do need to try and be as fit as I can be. Hard still. Hate the feeling of rejection

Using blue inhaler every day.

Reply

Emily Just hold onto

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

Sleep well and hope to chat soon.

So very, very pleased to have you back with us all.

😉😉x

Reply

Thank you xx

Reply

So sorry for u please b strong u will b ok I promise u must not let him destroy you we have lung desise but we will cope we will be the better person

Reply

Dear Emily,

So very sorry that your husband has let you down in this way, I hope you've some good friends who can give you a helping hand. Please let your consultant or your GP know your situation as this will have a bearing on your condition and they may also be able to put you in touch with the right services who can help get you through this.

Hang in there, brave lady! Show him what you can do without him! Good luck on 30th, my best wishes to you.

Joan xx

Reply

So sorry to hear that Emily61 but you're not alone as you have many friends on here that are always ready to chat to you. Hope your test results are better than you expect, sending hugs and best wishes to you for now and the future. xx

Reply

Hi emily61. Glad to see you back amongst friends. So sorry to hear your having such a hard time just now but remember you are strong and you will come through this. Friends and family are a great help. Take care of you and here for you Mx

Reply

Don’t let anybody get you down,I was told by my Nurse after my yearly Lung Test that I had the Lungs of a 90 year that was 5 Years ago.The people around you should be supporting you ,if there not lose them move on.Best wishes hope life gets better for you.

Reply

You will cope hang on in there you are so brave now take care emily61 💛💛💛💛

Reply

Sorry to hear your news. Hope you have the support of your family and friends to help you through this and as you can see from all the replies there's plenty of support here too.

Take good care of yourself and be strong

Best wishes

Corin

Reply

Hi Emily, as I have a similar kind of situation I would like to private message you if that’s okay, I do not know how to send a pm though.

Reply

Hi just responded via messaged just click the speech symbol third from left

Reply

Hi Emily. In life we come across all sort of people and surely it hurts if your spouse leaves you in between .

Now please remember that Stress increases our immune deficiency which I learnt in bad way and I got three sever attacks of pneumonia in 2017.

Then read good books and saw excellent YouTube videos on ‘Effect Of stress on body’. Thereafter started meditation and that soothes my nerves plus improved my immunity. Now I regularly pray silently to my Hindu deity and came across good evolved souls who guided me and this helped me in healing process also.

Suggest to become member of a blog’

Www. Spiritual-Forums. Com’ and you will be astonished as to how many highly evolved people are out there to help people like us.

Relax , try to forget, be positive — though easier said than done but I did it and today my TLC is normal, lungs are functioning normally and feeling better.

God bless

Reply

You may also like...