I have a leaking orifice
Which doesn't sound too good.
Before you start to panic,
Let me tell you it's not blood.
It causes me embarrassment
When I go anywhere.
I always feel that everyone
Is turning round to stare.
It marks me out as ancient,
Well past my sell by date.
But I still feel quite young myself
So that's a thing I hate.
I do my best to hide it
Not an easy thing to do.
I mop it up as best I can
When I go to the loo.
Before you start to wonder,
Let me tell you with a grin.
The leakage that I'm on about
Is just dribbling down my chin.
(Where's me hankie.)