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I need to scream but I can't,I can't even cry no more tears it just hurts,my soul is so empty, I feel nothing I can't explain it but I feel NOTHING and it all done to is ever ending cough!!!!! Infection after infection it's getting too much.given those eyes when you cough or worse people moving away from you, it's getting on me. Am tired,empty,worthless and lonely, life is not worth !!! Goodnight all.

39 Replies

  • please stay strong, those that move away when you cough do it out of ignorance because they don't understand. Try to stay positive,we are all here for you. Try to get a good night sleep. Goodnight and take care xxx Bernadette 😊

  • Hi Kirkton, I wish I could make it better. Sounds like you are at rock bottom. Don't give up, you need some medical support with this and hopefully tomorrow is the day when you get it. Go and see your GP and let them know how desperate you are feeling. Whatever you have been given for your chest infection seems to be ineffective - ask for a sputum test so that the antibiotics can target the infection more effectively. I'm sure others will be along with more suggestions. We're here to support you - you are not alone. Try and get some sleep and things might look not quite so black in the morning.

    Take Care,


  • I agree with Damon forget the people who look at you when your in public they dont understand and its not as if your coughing all over them b@@ls to them!! We all have really bad times with whatever lung problems we have. Ive had half a lung out and constant infections on and off every year from oct till now and a horrendous broncitis cough every year etc. And then theres hayfever season which will affect my breathing and more mucus and acid reflux. I know how you feel about it been there and it can really hit you hard sometimes and drag you way down intondark places. Whats worse is sleep depravation that adds more mental exhaustion to it, i truly understand. But tommorows another day and dont let it win. Were still here and breathing. You hopefully will have better days ahead of you. Stay strong and fight and try and get some kip whenever you can. Take care and dont forget you arent worthless.

    Helen has also given good advice your gp should listen to you and hopefully offer you something good luck!!

  • We face so much and life can be extremely difficult. It sounds as though you have had little help with the cough and I can only suggest you get back to your GP and make them listen. Is there anyone you can take with you? It has been a long winter and some infections are difficult to fight off. Have they tested your sputum? This can help get the right antibiotic for the job. Have you been shown chest clearing techniques? Whatever you are feeling there is always hope. You may be tired and feeling empty but you are certainly not worthless. You must be exhausted. Please do try to see your GP again, or give the BLF nurses a ring tomorrow for advice. You will get them on 03000 030 555. Sending you best wishes.

  • I would like to send you good wishes as well Kirkton and urge you to take the advice about getting in touch with your doctor and the BLF helpline.

    Many people with chronic lung illness have felt like you feel tonight. It's a hard road to travel when you get no break from infections but there are things you can do to improve your situation.

    Coming on here tonight and sharing your feelings with us was a very positive thing to do. You will get so much help and support from the members of this forum and find out how others cope when faced with similar situations to yours.

    You may feel empty and lonely right now but with the right support you can and will get back to feeling more positive.

    This is a safe place for you to reach out and share your experience. Please feel free to post again as often as you wish and keep us updated on how you are getting on. We are here to help and support you through this.

  • Hello Kirkton.

    You are feeling awful I understand. Sometimes it all seems much too much. And it is.

    People who stare or move away don't understand. It's hurtful. I know. Please, please never ever feel like you are worthless because you are not. You are important and deserve everything good like anyone else.

    I hope tomorrow will begin to feel better. Sending you warmth and happy thoughts.

    Cas xx 😊🌷🌱🍀🌿

  • Dear Kirkton, you are among people who care, Please keep in touch with us.

    Yes people do give dirty looks when we cough. Tough, it's none of their business.

    Please, please see your Doctor, you need treatment that works for your cough.

    It seems to me you have depression and need help with that too.

    Best Wishes to you, Kirkton for an improvement in your health.

  • Sweet dreams

  • Sending you a big hug you are not alone or worthless. Believe me most on here have been through just what you are feeling now. But the sun will rise tomorrow and you WILL meet another day. Stay strong. Please ring your Gp an get an appointment.

  • Hi Kirton.

    So sorry that you're feeling so down. You've had some great advice and I can't really add to it, but would say please go and discuss exactly how you're feeling with your doctor.

    Wishing you well, and keep in touch.

    Take care. Pam XXX

  • Having a serious lung problem is not an easy way of life. I often feel fed up as I have ABPA and it is limiting the things I can do. Are you on the correct treatment ? Ask your doctor to run some tests to see if your inflammatory markets are getting lower. Maybe a change of meds will help you cough less. I always have a cough but sometimes it is not all day just in the morning and after a walk. Hang in there you are not alone . It is important not to feel others are making a judgement. Let them know you are sick if you can speak with them otherwise try to ignore them- not easy at times but stay strong, those of us who suffer with lung disease. Have to dig deep for inner strength. Try finding something funny to read or watch may help to lift your mood/ don't beat yourself up . Good luck stay strong!

  • Hi Kirkton, just want to say I'm really sorry you are in a dark place at the moment and I agree with all the advice and support you have already been given from our other friends. Please do go to your gp today, and talk to them about how you are feeling both physically and emotionally . As for people who ignorantly stare and act like they are going to catch the plaque from you, I now just politely let them know I'm not infectious and they can't catch anything but then add I've got a chronic lung condition . Like I was blissfully unaware a few years ago, most people have no idea about chronic illnesses.

    Take care and remember we are here with our support, Linda x

  • Anxiety and depression are very common with serious illness. Your GP will be able to help and I hope you feel better soon xx

  • Hi Kirkton

    I'm 66 and have had a yucky cough all my life so know just how embarrassing it can be. However about a year ago the importance of having a good clear-out finally dawned on me - yes I'm a slow learner! Now I hardly ever cough in public.

    I nebulise every morning with a saline solution and get as much crud up as I can. If I need to, I also do it in the evening and I get a much better sleep.

    My diet is also extremely good (some would say too extreme) and I take lots of supplements. If I feel an infection coming on I'll take oil of oregano.

    It's important to take a good probiotic after a course of antibiotics to help your immune system.

    Hope you start feeling better soon.


  • Yes, good gut bacteria is important. I've been making sauerkraut and it's very easy to do. Maybe a quality yogurt, probiotics even come in capsules now....

    good advice. Do take care of yourself.

  • As well as wearing you out physically it does wear you out mentally, we all have been to those dark places and you have admitted you were there so that shows how brave you really are. We all need help and some support sometimes more that others. Please go and get some help as you have already done a positive thing just do another.

  • So sorry to hear how desolate you feel and utterly fed up. Spending all your time coughing is nothing but a damned nuisance we can all relate to, and cough medicines do not help. However I have found that drinking 100% pure pineapple juice does and its so pleasant to drink. Do not buy concentrate but the pure stuff found in the chiller of your supermarket I can easily get through 4 bottles a week and whilst it does not stop the cough it does certainly help. Have a glass full by the bed at night as well. I wish you luck

  • Dear Kirkton 15, hang in there, things will improve given a little bit of loving attention to yourself & that's what you deserve. It's at low points that we might feel a bit guilty that we have no energy for usual activities, but we need to convalesce when we go through a hard spell. Fresh pineapple juice using the core has more anti inflammatory bromelain in it, strain it & add water to it if you wish. Also 1st thing in the morning- half a fresh lemon added to 3/4 pint of cooled boiled water & a squeezed piece of fresh ginger( I use a garlic press) about an inch long. Add good local honey to taste if desired, it also helps the cough & up to a tblsp of cloudy apple cider vinegar as long as you are not taking warfarin. This helps to clear mucus in the morning & it's something that grows on you, I never miss mine now. Of course plenty of clear water (not chilled) will also thin mucus & make life easier. I do wish you well & if you keep in touch these lovely people here, they will happily give you support & cheer you. Keep strong 💪 Clara 😃

  • I do the pineapple in a juicer to blitz the core too

  • Clara, that's a good idea with the ginger in a garlic press. I'm anxious to try it. It's always good to start the day with some kind of cleansing drink. Like water with lime or lemon in it is my 'go to' drink.

    Yes, Kirkton, do care for yourself first.

    good luck, Gail

  • It takes a bit of squishing, but tastes delicious & good for digestion etc..

  • Hey Kirkton please don't give up. There are some great people on here who go through similar. Please stay in touch as lots of help on here.

    Not sure what meds you are on if any but doctors can sort that out for you.

    Tshe care xxx

  • If you explain to people you have a CONDITION instead of a disease you will find their reaction to it totally different. The word disease immediately brings up the thought of contagious. I find it helps.

  • I grt coughing spasms so suck a cough sweet which seems to help all the time also have a small bottle of water etc by me sipping some seems to stop the coughing think throats get dry so cough starts again hope it helps a bit

  • Some good advice given I couldn't say it any better than what has already been said lots of people here to listen so please don't give up I do hope you get the support you need soon. I have been feeling the same of late and am waiting to get on to a rehab course. I have 20% lung function I don't use oxygen therapy it hasn't been offered as they say my levels are acceptable but struggle daily and see no improvement. Hopefully when summer comes along we can all feel the benefits of the better weather as it does help. Chin up. Hope things improve for you very soon. Take Care X

  • Hi please don't give up I have been there too the cough is the worst I still cough a lot but now I go to the gym twice a week thanks to the lung foundation my copd is not so bad but my bronchiectasisis causes me problems and coughing I have been on the bus when people move away so don't worry about them when you feel a little better try a little exercise if you can it does help be positive hope you feel better soon .

  • Hello, you sound thoroughly fed up! Coughing is a bummer...when I get a bad one it's look out everyone because it turns into a scene from the exorcist...I can't keep anything down holymoly! ..... thank heavens for me I haven't coughed like that for some time but I do remember how frustrating and low it made me feel.

    Perhaps it is a good idea to tell the doctor how you feel , they might be able to help. Please let us know how you get on and I hope you can find some support from the medical professionals. Wishing you better, huff x

  • Hi I am sorry you are feeling so down and empty. I totally get that feeling like all of us do sometimes.

    I too have a very bad cough and had people move away from me because of it. When I go on the bus now I always sit at the front as I have had people (mainly little old ladies) scurry away from me as though they are going to catch something. I said to one of them (in between coughing) It's all right dearie you aren't going to catch anything. . I always cough into my hankie and never on anyone. I usually have cough sweets too.

    It makes me feel like a leper but I do what I can and can't do any more. Stuff 'em I say.

    I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning love. Bev x

  • . I have had people tell me to were a mask I just say asthma acting up. Don't worry about things to much or people.. I had a real bad coughing in the grocery store I made out to the parking lot ended up in a bad way I call an ambulance . When I went back into the grocery store a week later one of the workers were talking about me and rolled her eyes like I"m a drama queen but she dosn't know whats wrong with me.. This is live with asthma and COPD people back up away from me. I just say I have asthma it's acting up and then there respond is different. When some on coughs around me I back away too and it could just be they have asthma I don't know I feel it is a natural respond ....Please don't let people get you down.....

  • and

    these two sets of exercise done every other day improved my breathing. i was stage 4 on oxygen 24 hours a day. today i'm only on oxygen occasionally. my doctor is amazed.

    taking a positive action is so good for the morale as well as for your breathing. i wish you the best.

  • Hands up any of the good folk here with Asthma/COPD who don't try to avoid anyone coughing or sneezing in the supermarket - I did that very thing last week and put my hands up to it. We can't afford to put ourselves in the way of infections. I don't even look to see who is coughing, I just go by the sound; I really believe that the reason you are having such a severe reaction to people is that you are exhausted to the point that you are on the brink of anxiety/depression and that is a real, treatable condition. Please give your GP the info you have written for us, they can't treat what they don't know about. A lot of us have been where you are now and have survived it, you will too given the right treatment.

  • What can I say that hasn't been said already? COPD is an absolutely horrendous disease; the problems in our heads is as bad as the problems in our lungs, and harder to deal with. Life is always worth it, though. You really _must_ see your GP, find some meds to help with the cough but more importantly, you need someone to talk to, to get through this.

    The one thing you aren't, is "worthless". You're having a very tough time; things can only get better. Be brave!


  • How are you feeling today, Kirkton?

  • Hello Kirkton,first of all well done for screaming and talking about your feelings, having taken step one try to pluck up courage and tell your doctor or practice nurse about them.I would think there is hardly a person on this site that has not felt some of the emotions that you are going through. I gave up work a year early because of stress. So please try with someone you know or trust to turn it round. Three things happen when you are depressed one your sleep pattern goes and you may need help with that. 2 Your appetite either goes or you overeat as a comfort. 3 If your in a relationship your sex drive diminishes..

    If you add these three together it affects your physical well being and your immune system is impaired.Please tell someone who can offer something to sleep and listen to what you are saying. You may consider tham to be blunt but is they understand your mental and well being if they are unable to give you space to talk. It may help to get someone you know well to go with you,certainly the first time

    I used to visit a retired social worker who became a hermit and her isolation helped her to become paranoid and fail to look after herself but she lived for years and every time I left her she used to say "now remember the world is full off good people" how right that was and remember your one.

    I am not a believer but i would do anything to ring my deceased mum who always finished the conversation with "god bless"

  • Pleaaw dont give up I have been

  • Hello Kirkton, you are in a bad place just now but believe me there are a few people on here who can identify with that. You have been very brave to come on here and admit how you feel, it takes strength to do that. Certainly you are not worthless, it's the people who make you feel this, who are the unseeing and worthless. I have been in the depths of depression before and this could be happening with you. I was lucky at that time and had a doctor who really got me through it. Make a GP appt as soon as possible. Depression is an illness just like COPD is an illness and can hit at any time. I am fine just now but am aware that it lurks trying to catch me out! There are so many good people on this forum with a wealth of advice and they are always around for you! They can and will be able to advise you. For now, please try and get some sleep and try and think of something that soothes you. I have a tape of waves and sea noises and it never fails! Take care and I am sure we will all want to know how you get on. You are the important one here, no-one else. Take care and many, many thoughts are with you! Juney

  • Kirkston. You are definitely at a low. Please see your GP and get something to help you relax a little. Even when you think you are at rock bottom you will find something to enjoy whether it be seeing a robin in your garden or enjoying a good TV show. Keep your mind occupied, time on the hands is not a good thing.

  • Hello. I am sorry to hear you are coughing all the time and feeling so bad. Other people have given you lots of helpful advice. You don't say if you cough because of mucus on your lungs. I have lots of mucus (phlegm) in my lungs every day but I don't have an infection. I cough up the phlegm every morning and evening by using a nebuliser (they can be bought on the internet) and my doctor prescribes 7% salt solution in capsules to use in the nebuliser. Someone else above has mentioned that. Then I do Active Cycle of Breathing Technique - also known as huffing - to get rid of as much of the phlegm as possible. Ir is quite simple to do. There are lots of websites that explain it. Here is an explanation this is a good site

    If I don't do the above I might be coughing most of the day. It all seems a lot to do, but I have got used to it and it is much better than coughing during the day.

    Very occasionally when I lie down at night after doing the nebulising and ACBT I still have a bit of wheezing, so I use a Flutter which in England I think can be got on prescription (I bought my own).

    Here is a good site with some tips top10homeremedies.com/home-...

    I don't go anywhere without Fisherman's Friend original flavour just in case I feel I need to cough. It is very strong but takes away the tickle.

    I do hope this helps you and that you will be feeling much better and cared about by everyone on this site.

  • Hi, I'm new here and I'm so sorry to hear the way you are feeling . Having constant infection or coughing is hard to deal with I really do know how you feel, please try not to let others who don't understand your illness upset you as you've got enough to put up with and at the moment my coughing is pretty constant try and get sleep when you can and as much rest as possible my thoughts are with you. Healthy people don't always have compassion for sick people it's their ignorance and no one knows what's in front of them. I hope you're feeling better and stronger soon x

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