I'm desperate because my sister is dying of lung cancer...they've now given her 2 months. She lives in the UK alone but is not able to. My sisters do what they can, popping round a couple of times of week and doing her shopping and cleaning, etc. My sister so far has been too proud to ask for help because she is fiercely independent but recently has started to collapse, has stopped eating and feels very unwell, apart from being afraid.
My problem is that I'm 57 years old, married, live in Portugal and work. I'm in a rented room so my life is not great but as I've lived abroad for over 35years it would be difficult for me to go back to UK to look after my sister because what would I do after she dies? I'm also terrified of flying so couldn't catch a plane.
Last year I went back for a month with a view to caring for her long-term but we didn't get on. She is so used to living alone and is very demanding. We drove each other mad and I think we were both glad when I left. She has also continued to smoke continuously and the place smells disgusting.
I'm having terrible anxiety attacks thinking about her all on her own. My sister say let her go into a hospice where she'll be well looked after. We all say we'd do the same because we are not a very close family. My mother died 2 months ago so all I ever think about is death.
I suppose I'm feeling guilty. I'd be grateful for any feedback. Thanks a lot.