Who was that person?

Now that I'm having all these problems with my breathing and suffering from a sense of loss and regret over my lifestyle during that relatively short time, I'm seriously questioning who that person was who created this situation.

I'm really struggling relating to my behaviour in my 20's and early 30's. Given whats important in my life now and how I feel over the past I think I'm having an identity crisis.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I see others I work with able to celebrate life by having a few drinks, going for a meal, staying out to the small hours and participate in sports. All a struggle for me. Sigh!

22 Replies

  • Oh bless you. I would imagine the way you feel is not that uncommon. Sending hugs to you through the ether.



  • raptitude.com/2013/10/the-e...


    '. . . I still quite often sell out Future David though, leaving him with less so that Right Now David can indulge some Right-Now urge. The reality, I am somehow still gradually learning, is that Future David will actually be Right Now David at some real point in time, and not in an abstract way. At any given present moment, whether I realize it or not, I am the Future David that Past Davids have sold out in all sorts of ways. . . .'

  • Not sure I fully understand that David but it sure sounds good :d x

  • Think he might have taken a double dose of the morning medicine.

  • :d :) x

  • Yes I get it but there is an element of chance in all this it is not all straight forward cause and effect viz. only 20% of smokers get COPD so not a given viz. smoke = will get it, other factors come in some that may not be within our control - not saying you should not give up smoking, nor that you should not take control of what factors you can but that ultimately it is the toss of a dice - and as I say elsewhere if not this maybe something else - anyway take care xx

  • Yea sort of ,but gratitude I have to remember as when I was young ,it's a wonder I'm still alive,so I don't mind settling down abit, watch TV flog it ,lol, all the things I did not do then, slowing down abit, now and again I get fed up ,so have to ma ke the most of it.x

  • Hi, don't forget that the BLF helpline is there for you. Not only are they experts with the lung & medical issues they also have counsellors on the line.

    Do give them a call: 03000 030555 I think you can now email them with your details & they will call you back . P

  • My husband feels much the same as you but very frustrated as well. It really irks him that he cant do what he could and as you say everything is such an effort. Actually I think you are right - it is a crisis, trying to create a new you facing all these problems. You may hate this suggestion but I wonder if you should think about counselling to him you adjust. Lots of luck and try to stay positive, TAD xxx

  • No point in beating yourself up over the past or do you want the poor little me vote.

    Concentrate on what you can do not what you once could. That will only bring you into the big black hole and once in!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

    All my hobbies were sport based and now no way can I do anything remotely connected with sport,maybe play a few hands of cards, and at 70 years old and in really good health except for a pair of crap lungs that do not want to supply me with enough oxygen life is good.

    So concentrate on the good things and not on the bad.. Positiveness really does work if you give it a chance and lets face it you really have no other option. None of us COPDers do.

  • Suggestion: Find a new challenge, something that you always wanted to d o, but didn't have time; that you can address in spite of your condition: Learn to read music & play an instrument and that inspires you.

    Learn a foreign language of a country you (would) like to visit, Spanish French Portugese etc

    Learn to paint.

    Good luck

  • soulsaver, I completely agree.

    It's only through the will to improve myself that I have; by going to the gym I have become fit enough to increase my function from 30% in 2010 to 42% now. This means that I've been able to consider my love for music to take it to another lever and starting with playing the flute. This too is boosting my illness. Exploration of what you haven't done yet is a catalyst for better things! Cheers, Mic

  • At the end of the day we are all still alive. It's better than the alternative...... x

  • hi I used think about what I did in past and still do sometimes, but never let it get to me. sometimes we can get fed up when you think back, but whats the point. better to just concentrate on now and what we can do, and not what we used to be able to do. because we know that no matter what we will never be able do what we once did. I still manage work a bit just part time as I just try and carry on just at a slower pace.


  • So true! After we may not yet do what we could do! It's only eploring the fields of what we like that we will want to do new things. never too old to do this!

  • So sorry you are feeling that way . I can relate to this as I have had to give up work due to fertege and ill health I loved my work as a youth worker and miss my work terribly it is also the feeling of being helpless but I can tell you it is getting better once I accepted the situation

  • So sorry you feel that way I too had the feeling of being helpless and frustrated because I had to give up my work due to fertege and ill health

    This syndrome takes hold of your life but there is light at the end of the tunnel once I accepted what was happening to me I was able to move on I'm not saying that I don't still have the odd blip of fears but this group are very surportive and full a useful info.

  • We all regret it, but we lived how we wanted to when young. Don't beat yourself up, you probably had a good time. I feel the same way.

  • Like you, my life has changed so much but I try not to let it get me down too much. Just have to live your life at a slower pace and try and appreciate what you still have. Life is far to short for regrets, would we have done things differently if we had our time over again? Probably only if we were as wise then as we are now! Take care xx

  • I don;t despite it all regret the person I was - but I do mourn them and yes get sad at what I cannot now do - but I did have a good time and packed a lot in while I was young and able and thank goodness for that - now well it is a different me and yes one I am responsible for- but if not this then something else - life though restricted in many ways still goes on and for the moment seems better than the alternative - take care xx

  • Yes, I have had this crisis when I started getting seriously ill. My wife then was a great support, though her illness has worsened so much that she is now in a care home due to bipolar.

    Yet, take confidence in what you can do now to improve through boosting your self condifended and through vital exerccises you can do at home. If you cannot stay until the small hours, well that's not bad at all! Best to be able to sleep a whole night.

    Exercise will improve your help.

    Have you been referred to a pulmonary nurse/ If not, ask to be referred. She would help you with your condition on may aspects. She could enroll you on a pulmonary rehabilitation. She could refer you to a psychologist , as you are entitled to have counselling advice to cope with the effect of your condition.

    By the way, what is your condition? Have confidence that you can improve. Cheers, Mic

  • Thanks to all who have replied to this post with your inspiring words.

    Mic, I have chronic asthmatic bronchitis. I also have developed a peripheral neuropathy on the last month that my consultant feels could be related to either Sleep apnea or a the bronchitis. The neuropathy is affecting my ability to excercise and is bringing me down another road of tests and consultant visits. Very expensive and time consuming.

    I have been watching the webinars with Noah Greenspan and the Pulmonary Wellness Centre. They're great. I'll post a link in my next post.

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