Weekend Wit - A gentle ease back into things :D.... Hope your all still smiling :) :) :)

[Plumbob]

Gentle Thoughts for Today

Birds of a feather flock together...

and then crap on your freshly cleaned car.

A penny saved is a Government oversight.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL'

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things no one tells you about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

And Finally :-

Decisions to dilemmas change with age

After a long day on the golf course, I stopped in at "Hooter's

to see some friends and have some hot Wings and drinks.

After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me

which waitress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with.

I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators."

I'm old, tired, and pee a lot.

[Hidden]

Jimmy, I thought u said gently that was hilarious now I'm hurting through giggling to myself, I'm sure my kids think I've lost the plot as everytime they come into me I have this stupid grin on my face from reading the jokes on here, makes my day lol Take care x Sonia x

[eightyplus]

I wasn't smiling when I logged on but I am now.

Nice one!

[pollyjj in reply to eightyplus]

Brilliant Jimmy made me laugh.

pollyxx

[Hidden]

yep that was a great ending to a funny monologue

[Hidden]

Lovely jubbley! x

[pergola1]

Happy joke - good to read and have a laugh!!

[Offcut]

All so true.

You forgot to mention how as we get older gravity is getting stronger and that's why we are sagging more?

[undine]

very good thank you xx