I am sorry to hear about your marriage problems. I am sure it is far more complex than you have been able to tell in the few short paragraphs above. All I can suggest is that you both agree to see a marriage guidance counsellor who may be able to help you reconcile your differences and bring you back together again if that is what you both want.
I had a Life saving heart op during the height of covid.
No one was allowed through the hospital doors, so I didn’t expect any visitors. The staff were simply fantastic.
I thought it was a brilliant situation, so much nicer than having visitors. I could speak to my wife on the phone. The only thing I really missed was my cat.
It is no fault of yours that covid swept the country.
It is likewise no fault on your husbands side.
He survived. I survived. Now I hope that you can get some help to calm your anxieties.
My wife had plenty of reasons why she could only make a short visit each day when I was recovering from open heart surgery. None of that mattered to me -- only that she wasn't there most of the time. (And at times it is a very scary and lonely place to be.)
But my wife has many other very fine qualities; this just wasn't her strong suit. I've accepted that she is who she is, and that at 58, I'm unlikely to change her.
Her brother recently had triple bypass, so now she has to go in for a CT angiogram. But even with the shoe on the other foot, I will endeavour to make no comparisons. We're all different people and deal with this level of stress in different ways.
I hope it works out for you. I agree that counselling is an excellent idea if you're both willing....
Try calling some helplines for a chat and download. The first one that comes to mind is woman’s aid, they are fabulous for all things and can sign post to other support for you xx
counselling is a good idea. Your hubby sounds like he needs some for him anyway. But also couples counselling. Do it!! Don’t wait for things to get worse. I’m really rooting for you.
I’m really sorry to hear what you both went through during that period and the fact he had an heart operation and you both never had no support.
I don’t understand how things are done in some areas. People not able to see their loved ones but in some places could. I have severe heart failure and the community nurse came in to see me and checked me over, weighed me did my blood pressure and listened to my chest. He also told me he had another visit near me. He wore his disposable plastic apron, gloves and mask.
Your husband needed that visit more than me, I would say, to check on him, and that you’re both ok after such an ordeal in such a time.
Someone mentioned marriage counselling, hopefully you will both try it. I assume you had a good marriage before so hopefully you can get that back. Also I think you at least need your own individual counselling, and maybe he does too. All the best.
Could you just sit down and talk about how you are both feeling being totally honest with eachother without resulting in shouts ,swearing or either of you storming off. Your husband probably wouldn't want to talk to a stranger . While it will probably help you men don't usually like to talk about their problems.
This is different but it would have helped me but my husband didn't want to . When he was diagnosed with grade 4 malignant melanoma and told he wouldn't live 5 years. There was a support group that I thought would help but he didn't want anyone to know and he said I can talk to you. Only us and our children knew he wouldn't live after the cancer was removed. He didn't want anyone to know as they would in his words treat him like a dead man walking.
He lived 3 years. I went to a bereavement group my children want me to go because they thought it would help. I was 45 the rest where over 20-40 years older than me and the woman who ran it was married and done a 12 week course. They where nice people but no help . So I muddled through on my own talking to my husband everyday.
Now at 66 I tell people never try and be brave but talk about how you are feeling with the people who care about you . I was a fool but what did I know about bone crushing grief. Plus looking after my parents and mother in law plus I was born disabled. Only after they died did I realise how much my health had suffered.
You have to ask yourself could you live without your husband in your life ?How would you feel not seeing him everyday? And the all important question do you still love ?
If there is no love then you have your answer the rest is logistics.
It sounds as if your husband hasn't come to terms with having teh heart attack and badly needs help. Talk to your GP to see if here's any way you could persuade him to go for counselling. It's not your fault that covid happened or that you couldn't be there. When I had a heart attack and was carted away by he paramedics, my husband simply went back to bed. I have to understand that because he's autistic but I don't have to like it. We have now talked over his reaction . He still has no empathy and copes really badly with illness but he does at least understand how it affects others. If you can't sit down and talk to yours without it turning into an argument, do try marriage counselling too but first your husband needs help with how he's feeling.
You've gone through a lot with no support. Even if your husband won't go to Relate you need some counselling to give you some support and some ideas about moving forward. In the meantime I've always found this forum a good source of support and advice. Good luck.
I had heart surgery during covid, my partner was over 1 hour away and I didn't expect him to make the drive to see me, especially as I was asleep most of the time and I didn't want him to get any infections either.
Your husband should recognise that this was not your fault, the situation at the time was not safe for him to have visitors or for you to visit. What would have happened if you had caught covid while visiting him, you would have not been able to take care of him when he was released from hospital.
Hope you are well. Most important thing is that you are still there fighting for him. Whether or not you held is hand - dont think matters that much. Hope he will see that
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Heart attack= heart failure but no surgery possible? 
Post heart attack 
Heart attack and smoking.....
Post heart attack & stent
