Hi, my name is Laura. My mum had a heart attack 3 weeks ago.
She has been home just over a week, the first couple of days were fine as she was so tired she just slept. Unfortunately she is now suffering from panic attacks, both night and day. She hasn’t slept properly in days now, which is not helping her recovery.
Myself, my dad and sister are worried sick and are doing everything we can to support her, but we can’t find a way to help with the panic attacks.
I just wondered if anyone had any tips for helping?
Thanks for reading
Laura
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Helpingmum55
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Sorry about your mom's trouble. A heart attack is a worrying thing so it's understandable. That said, anxiety and panic attacks can be caused by low magnesium levels. I myself had low magnesium levels and would suffer "fight or flight" episodes where even the slightest noise would cause me to jump. Not only does a heart attack deplete magnesium levels, but the multitude of medications prescribed will also contribute to it.
Obviously this isn't medical advice and it is worth discussing things with the GP rather than just going ahead and starting a supplement.
I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through and it’s understandable that you’re so worried. I have liked your post but what I would really like is a hug button, because I feel you all need a big hug!!
When our anxiety escalates and we experience panic attacks we are no longer thinking with the logical part of our brain and the primitive part of our brain takes over.
There are a couple of techniques that I have used in the past to help me calm my nervous system and move back into my rational thoughts.
Here are a couple of ideas that might be helpful but I’m happy for you to message me directly if you might find it helpful 🙂
1) Google the 5,4,3,2,1 grounding technique
2) Get a small object like a tv remote and give it to your mum and ask her to pass it from one hand to the other (ideally she needs to be reaching across her body and past her hip for it to be most effective). This helps distract the brain and refocus the person back into present, rational thinking.
One thing you personally can do to help is hug your mum - a firm hug that last for at least 30 seconds works wonders for calming the nervous system and reminding the primal brain that they are safe.
I’m not an expert but these are techniques that I have used with great success, I can only give my personal experience and I wish you all the best of luck whilst you heal from this traumatic experience.
If you feel up to it, I would love to hear how you get on.
I’m so pleased to hear that you feel this might also help you! Anxiety and panic attacks are so horrible to experience, I wouldn’t wish them on anyone and if I can help others to find strategies to manage them then I feel like that’s a win for all of us 😁
I am going to try the object in the hand technique that you mentioned. I hope that I can get the technique (crossing the body) correct.
I loved the hug technique that you described, but I live alone and have no one to hug as needed. 🥲
I have tried (when panicking while driving) popping a strong mint into my mouth and letting it dissolve. The strong mint brings me back into the moment. This could also work with a very sour candy.
Oh Smitty, I wish I could offer you that much needed hug!
The main thing is the activity, don’t worry too much about the execution initially because that may cause more anxiety. The purpose of crossing the body is to activate both sides of your brain which helps your brain to regulate and refocus and forces you to be “in the moment” so to speak.
Your mint technique is a brilliant suggestion too; anything that heightens your senses can be helpful - so with mint it can cover taste, smell and touch. Ideally you want to use as many of your senses as possible (that’s what the 5,4,3,2,1 technique does).
Sending lots of love and I hope that knowing your not alone with how you feel helps you to feel stronger 🤗🤗
Bless your Mum and all of you. It feels so unstable suddenly doesn't it. I'm on here for my heart stuff but as it happens, my hubbie had a heart attack 2 years ago this week. Has your Mum been given a nurse specialist to help with rehab? My hub's was/is Janet and she was super active in contact. She saw a lot of my husband's 'journey' when I was just focused on getting back to normal but it was a new normal. It was a huge shock for us both and Mike was also scared to close his eyes. So it's a shock for you all. Also they have to put you on so many different medications, it's v scary. Time definitely helps. The GP was helpful as was my husband's Consultant but the nurse was a solid contact that he took things to until he felt more hopeful and solid as your Mum hopefully will do too. There was also a huge folder of stuff to read and do and I'm sure that's a National thing. Eventually the puppy chewed a corner of it but it was v useful. But not until your Mum is ready. This forum is great. Heart stuff takes a lot of getting used to as does feeling your own or your parent's mortality keenly so take it slowly all of you. Sending love xx
What is happening to your Mum for so many of us is perfectly normal and it is very early days
Has your Mum got a Rehab Nurse or number ?
If so encourage her to contact them to talk this through sometimes a little reassurance helps
There are also the BHF Nurses you or your Mum can talk to who will give good advice I will put their number on for you
It should settle down and even though upsetting for you all to she has been through a big event which will have shook her confidence the best you can do is what you are doing now be there for her , reassure her and tell her how well she is doing let her know this is normal and you have found a site where others have said so but it gets better
I hope this soon gets better for your Mum if you find it does not improve maybe talking to the Doctor will be a good idea but hopefully she will work through this without having to
Let us know how she gets on x
Heart Helpline team on 0300 330 3311 Mon-Fri 9-5pm
So sorry to hear this it must have been a massive shock for yourself and your mum. Camomile tea seems to help me with anxiety and there are various different Calming tea bags that help me sleep better. I also have a kiwi fruit after tea for serotonin and a magnesium glycinate supplement daily which seem to help me.
Hi Laura, I had a HA Feb 22, no stent fitted but I had an emergency bypass same day I too suffered with anxiety that has never left me but I have learned some coping strategies
I used to lay awake most of the night just waiting for something to happen I was frightened to sleep lots going through my mind ( I woke up when I was taking my HA and thought I had indigestion)so fear is always there.
Please tell your mum to ask her doctor to refer her to speak to someone, best thing I ever done think I cried at every appointment but as time went on I learned techniques that I still use today.
The Dr I was seeing listened to all my fears and helped me deal with them, I am a lot better these days still have the odd moment sleep patterns not great but I think some of that is just what I have to accep with my medication.
Get your mum to speak to the heart nurse they have some great advice too,
If your mum needs to chat this group is always here and have some great advice, the one thing we have in common is we have all suffered one way or another x
Hi I had a HA 13 months ago and I too had panic attacks, enough for me to go to A&E a couple of times thinking I was having another heart attack. The HA is a huge shock to your body and very hard to cope with the realisation of it all. Like Beta 70 I drink calming Calamine tea especially in the evening and also eat a Kiwi at night (golden ones are lovely). I have also found meditation videos on Utube very calming. Your Mum's cardio nurse should be able to refer your Mum to NHS Talking Therapies, if not your GP can. Where your Mum can talk through her worries and concerns. I am taking Bisoprolol a beater blocker, for a high heartrate that is supposed to help with anxiety feelings although it was not prescribed for that reason. But please seek help for Mum to deal with this issue so it does not escalate. Sending love and hugs to you both. xx
Hi Laura....you've had some lovely replies from people on the forum and lots of advice that I hope will be helpful for you all. Making sure your Mum goes on a cardio rehab course I am sure will also be of great benefit to her. It will hopefully help her understand what she can and can't do and will also give her some confidence in what she is capable of doing. Focusing on doing some exercise might also help with the anxiety. Having any heart event is a scary experience but the more knowledgeable you are about it and the more you understand your capabilities after it can be a great help in moving forward and cardio rehab I am sure will be a great help for your mum. Take care x
Thank you everyone for your kind words and suggestions. If I am honest, they made me cry, I've never seen such support and it was actually quite overwhelming.
We have tried the basic techniques, breathing, 5,4,3,2,1 etc, unfortunately these don't help. The best we can do is take it in turns to be with her and reassure her everything is ok and she is safe.
She did speak to her GP yesterday and is going in for an appointment today. I have also told her about this community and suggested she call the helpline to speak to a nurse who I am sure can help her through everything.
Thank you once again, sorry I can't reply to everyones messages, I am trying to work a full time job, deal with my own chronic condition and care for mum.
But you support and kind words mean more than you could ever know.
I suffered with anxiety before my heart attacks that led to Bypasses and since my anxiety is even worse
Regretfully when you are in a high state of anxiety like I get into and sounds like your Mum is in these techniques do nit work your mind is to full of fear to concentrate it can be better when you are calmer to try and do them which your Mum is not at the moment but will be in time
You are doing the right thing though and what helps me when it feels this bad is been reassured and knowing people are there for me and you are a lovely Daughter despite your own issues with the rest of your family doing this
Wishing your Mum good luck speaking with the Doctor and yes let us know we are here sometimes knowing there are others feeling or have felt the same and got through it can be a real help
When you have time it would be so nice to hear how she is getting on and maybe she will join and come and speak with us when she is ready but please try not to worry to much she will be ok x
I had a heart attack 8 months ago. I’ve been fit and healthy all my life and a non smoker. It turned my whole world on its head. It’s an awful lot to contend with and the impact it also traumatic. The medication you end up on also presents its own problems and affects your mindset.
Many people have said the mental side of it is much harder to deal with than the physical and after going through it I have to agree. Everything changes. People who were enquiring how you are gradually disappear. You find yourself alone with your thoughts and that’s a problem in itself.
There’s some great advice in these posts. I found the cardiac rehab team to be amazingly helpful as I had access to them face to face once a week. They liaised with the cardiology team if I had an issue and they were incredibly supportive in getting me confident again to exercise.
The talking therapy services were also great but what I’ve learned is everything takes time. You need to go at your own pace as it’s all overwhelming but above all what you value is the love and support from your nearest and dearest.
I’ve also found the social prescribing service really helpful in pointing me in the direction of various things to occupy my time as I now find myself at 64 unemployed with time on my hands.
Keeping busy and active once the early stages are over is key. She may find progressive muscle relaxation techniques helpful. There’s plenty of videos on the internet and it certainly helped with my anxiety as does Chi Gong.
Can you tell me what social prescribing is, like you I am young turned 60 last week. and had a heart attack in January out of the blue, they also found kidney cancer to which I had to wait 8 months to get removed, I have just got out 4 weeks ago and recovering, I now have collapsed lungs and fluid , hoping it is a side effect of the op , but see consultant on Tuesday, feel very alone, all friends at work etc, it has just been the worst 9 months ever and I get fed up of everyone saying it’s early days as this has been since January 6 I had heart attack to get my head around , then finding the cancer and getting heart better to have the op after fantastic rehab and the next stage you pay for but my nerves are shot to pieces!! Op didn’t go quite to plan. Needed 2 blood transfusions and had massive internal bleed, I can’t see me ever getting back to work and can’t see my life just sitting here indoors alone, also what is chi gong ? I don’t even relax in meditation videos , I do the breathing things but that all hurts at the moment, I have psychotherapy once a week but that just wears me out as I cry all the way through and then that just makes me sleep for rest of the day. I really appreciate your answers, never been a telly person so just sit googling all day!! I can’t see an end to it all x
Sorry to hear of your further challenges with your health following your HA. As if that wasn't enough to contend with !
I've been exactly the same in relation to spending my days googling things. It can be totally overwhelming especially the contrasting information on statins. I'm trying to move away from it now by doing other things as I regain my fitness. Meditation does not work for me but I have found the progressive muscle relaxation works well. Chi gong (spelt QI Gong) is a form of Tai chi which you can do from an armchair. I find certain exercises extremely useful to relax. There's loads of videos on Utube.
You'll find details of a social prescriber at your GP practice but basically they offer advice and information on activities and social groups that may help or offer support. They don't offer medical advice but they can refer you on if they feel it would be beneficial. Probably a bit earlier in your recovery but something to bear in mind as you recover.
I personally found it helpful and I'm in the process of joining a couple of organisations.
Thank you so much for replying, I will definitely be asking about the social prescribing and look in to the muscle relaxing especially as it is from an armchair. I can’t really do much at the moment, but at least utube classes will help with all the thoughts and fears in my head and hopefully clear a bit if space to concentrate on something else, as I don’t usually put telly on as it interferes with all my thoughts at the moment but I definitely need distraction
She needs distracting from the panic attacks. For me just having someone talk to me works. Breating into a paper bag can help the hyperventilating. Reassure her that a panic attack won't kill her then contact her GP and ask him to have a good detailed talk to her about what's happened and why and that she's going to improve.
I am so sorry to hear about your mom’s heart attack three weeks ago. I also had a HA in March 2022. I think that most of us feel that the HA was totally unexpected, and it just hit us out of the blue. It is really not unusual to be afraid after that. A HA reminds us that we are vulnerable and that we have a definite “shelf life.”
It is scary to have a HA, and we may still feel like rubbish, and we may feel aches and pains and skipped heart beats, etc., that we would have paid no attention to at one time, but now we are super focused on each one. Anything can become a trigger for our anxiety, and even a panic attack.
I also have anxiety disorder, and sometimes panic attacks. I can’t offer medical advice on this issue, but I can share a couple of things that I have tried.
Your words make your mom’s anxiety/panic sound extremely serious right now. I would suggest that she have a referral for counseling to help her gain some strategies for helping her to begin to control her anxiety. This process will take time, but therapy can help. In the meantime, I would say that even her GP could prescribe a medication such as Xanax (a low dosage) to be used as needed/directed while your mom begins/engages in therapy. That medication can act quickly and help the person to calm. That short-term fix could help your mom to begin to get more sleep, which she does need in order to get stronger. I also usually take a muscle relaxer, Tizanidine (4 mg) to help me sleep. I relax gradually and get about 3 hours of sleep from one pill, but usually, I can drift off again for another 2-3 hours of sleep. Over time, I have found that I can often fall asleep on my own now, but this mild muscle relaxer can be a help if needed. Your mom would need to check these medications with her doctor in order to see whether they might be appropriate for her.
There are also some great phone apps for relaxation, for focused breathing, for mindfulness, etc. I would recommend some of these techniques to your mom for her use in controlling her anxiety/panic, but for right now, you might want to check on medications and therapy. Again, Xanax works very quickly (within 20 minutes) to help someone calm. I can take a small dose (2.5 mg) when I am very anxious, and I can feel myself calming within a short time. I don’t take this medication daily.
I am adding a link for a video on a hand-on-heart technique that I do use, and that I find to be calming. That link also explains an easy to use 5-4-3-2-1 technique that your mom might like:
I also pay monthly for an app called “Rain, Rain”, which I often use for sleeping. It has a variety of types of rain sounds including thunder claps and thunder storms, white noise, brown noise, green noise, etc., fireplaces—-just all types of relaxing sounds to sleep with.
I had anxiety/panic before my HA. I will have anxiety/panic for the rest of my life, but I can learn new and better ways to deal with it. I hope that you will be able to help your mom to learn ways to deal with her anxiety/panic. Remember—she has to put in the effort—-but, hopefully, everyone will benefit from her efforts!
She is very lucky to have such a caring daughter to help her! ❤️💕 But be sure to care for yourself too!
My mum had a NSTEMI heart attack a few weeks ago. She is 82, had a funny turn Sunday night. Funny pains in chest, sweating and headache. I think as she was half asleep she probably panicked she has been ok since nothing else.
Believe I know what you are going through, ATM it's me that is anxious and on high alert 24/7.
I don't know what to say about your mums panic attacks. Try and just reassure her that everything is going to be ok. I know it's hard as you're all probably on high alert too.
I hope you and your family something that works for you. X
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