Bad Anxiety and the Christmas Grinch

[ITSINTHEBAG9]

Suffering very very bad anxiety at the moment over heart. Having full blown panic attacks. Worried about CT scan with Contrast. Worried about everything. Hate feeling like this. AVR hopefully early next year. I just want my life back. We will be at home at Xmas, no mixing. Sorry to sound like the Grinch. I'm going to go and talk to my sheep and see if that cheers me up. Sorry everyone. Jane 😔

[080311]

Hi Jane there is no need to be sorry, you know the forum is here to have a vent if we need to, waiting for your op is the worse part of surgery you know it’s coming and you just want it over. I was talking to Char about the night before our surgery remember she was having a heart transplant we were both in the Jubilee, she said she felt the whole staff of the hospital were in her room in the middle of the night. I was completely on my own my family had taken everything with them ( told by the hospital to do) even my wedding ring! Had no phone just dressing gown and slippers in a plastic bag 😩 I was looking out of my window at the river Clyde and this feeling of peace came, can’t explain just a feeling that I just had to give myself up to what was going to happen and everything would be ok. The funny thing is that char felt the same thing. I have never told my family they would have thought I had my pre med but I hadn’t had anything. 😂What I am trying to say is you are no different than most of us. You want your life back and be able to look forward rather then feel your marching on the spot. The medical team that look after us are so brilliant so clever so caring. Everything will be good.

Hope the sheep were good company and the rams are behaving themselves 😂

I send you best wishes Pauline

[ITSINTHEBAG9 in reply to 080311]

Thank you so much Pauline. Feel so much better after being outside. I really do.

[Flowerfanatic]

Oh so sorry Jane - I get it, I really do and especially the panic attacks and the worry.

I see you have now been outside and spent some time with your lovely sheep and are feeling a little better. So glad. Being outside does help doesn’t it with the anxiety. Have just come in from a walk (with my secateurs in my pocket) and enjoyed a little forage snipping away at berries / holly etc. - always calms me.

Take care and my best wishes to you.

Sarah X

[ITSINTHEBAG9 in reply to Flowerfanatic]

Thanks so much Sarah. It's so good to have friendly folk in this forum. Jane x

[staffbull]

Hi Jane so sorry you are feeling down at momentHave had several ct scans with contrast really scared the first time I had one as over sensitive to meds but staff great putting you at ease only feeling a little hot flush and need you want a wee but over very quickly no fear whatsoever now

Had a minor heart attack needing stent just now getting over side effects of meds which resulted in a changing and coming off some tabs so I fully understand your anxieties and panic

Just over the past two days feel have my life back having reduced meds not feeling anxious just now and like you I have my dear companion my dog which is a great help

Wishing you all the best for the future 🎄

[ITSINTHEBAG9 in reply to staffbull]

Thank you so very much.

[funnyfennel]

yes I recognise your anxiety and panic and feel much the same .have no enthusiasm for Christmas and have decided really I don't want to do anything because I don't want to mix with other people even if the opportunity was there..( I'm awaiting a date for a mitral valve job)

but CT scans are not difficult , try not to worry about it..

Sending support and best wishes that you feel a bit calmer soon...

X

[ITSINTHEBAG9 in reply to funnyfennel]

Thank you so much for replying.

[Tubbylardo]

I got my diagnosis in early December 2019 and remember just going through the motions last Christmas. I hate Christmas anyway so last year was especially difficult. Now, out the other side post my AVR and approaching another Christmas and have no appetite for it at all.

[ITSINTHEBAG9 in reply to Tubbylardo]

Thanks so much for replying Tubbylardo. I'll be quite honest here I only really do Xmas for my daughter. Since both my parents died I have no real appetite for it at all. I think if people are truthful many feel that way.

[Billy_Bedstead]

Hey, sorry to hear you are having such anxieties. Although it's easy to say it's normal and natural, that comment in itself doesn't really help much.

I had a CT scan a few weeks ago and found it was completely painless and relatively quick. Everyone was very pleasant and that always helps.

The upshot for me was that I am now on the list for a bypass (I had an angiogram too) so I can empathise a little with that waiting for something to happen (or not to happen!) feeling.

The thought of getting out to talk to the sheep sounds just fabulous. I have also found a little relief by using mediation music on You Tube and some very simple and easy Qi Gong movements, also on YouTube. Its all new to me but I have found it useful... I do the exercises in front of the TV in the morning before I draw the curtains so the neighbours can't see me!

Take it easy and be kind to yourself

Neil (BillyB)