My colleague had a heart attack at 39, almost 12mths ago. She is still a heavy smoker and weekend drinker. Drinks sugar free cola all day and has an extremely poor diet: biscuits for breakfast, chocolate for lunch, crisps for snacks, fish fingers butty for tea! Had symptoms yestabut won't do anything g, leaving me anxious and worried.Shes very keen at work re first aiders on site and meds room in place etc but doesn't help herself.
Help me to help her, please.
Hi FriendofHAttack
I’m sorry to hear about your friends heart attack.
Was she offered cardiac rehab after her heart attack? This can be very useful for providing lifestyle and dieting tips, easing back into exercise, helping to cope with symptoms, including dealing with mental well-being.
I realise perhaps what it’s like to have a stubborn friend. My partner is quite stubborn and is a moderate to heavy smoker. Despite telling him all the negatives of smoking, he seems to do quite the opposite which can be frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is that his mum passed away from lung cancer, although she wasn’t a smoker I thought this may have brought him to the realisation that he needs to quit.
If she’s still experiencing pain from her episode last night, it is safer to call 111 or 999 even given her cardiac history. Remember, women do not always present the typical heart symptoms that are seen in men therefore, it’s probably a good idea to at least call.
I hope others come by with advice.
All the best.
Tos
Hello 
I am so sorry to hear about your friend and equally as sorry to read how this is affecting you there is no doubt you are certainly a good friend to have and I hope she knows it
The biggest problem is though we can change ourselves but are powerless over changing someone else
You can sit her down if not already and tell her how concerned you are and that the chances are if she carries on like this she will have another heart attack and might not be as lucky and the thought that could happen really concerns you and would she please consider getting checked out at the Hospital
You could offer to support her in stopping all these bad habits she has that are no good for the heart suggest some things you can do together maybe starting a healthy eating plan you can both do as well as some kind of exercise joining gyms together and so on but if she will not listen and not accept your help I really cannot see what else you can do to help her
We all have choices and we are lucky if we have someone that cares like you to try and support us but if she is making these choices and is not listening to you then as hard as it is we have to let go and it is hard to do that but sometimes we have to
I do hope she listens to you but if not then make sure you take care of you
Please let us know how you get on x
Thankyou. Shes a colleague as opposed to friend. I appreciate your response. X
x
hi as a colleague it’s good that your concerned. Are you good friends though? Would you be able to talk to her to help her think about her choices?
Also the trouble with change is the person themselves needs to want to change no matter how much you say to her.
Is your colleague ok with your discussing her health issues online?
I hope she sees soon that continuing like this in the medium to long term May not bode well but it’s her life?
👍
She absolutely won't see thus, as she doesn't acknowledge her interest. But thankyou for your response. Much appreciated. X
It is so terribly frustrating when you have a friend who is determined to kill him/herself via a very unhealthy lifestyle, a friend recently died by smoking herself to death rejecting all advice and concerns for her health She had severe COPD but a CA finished her, her COPD was so crippling she couldn't do all those things that she loved.
So sorry to hear this. I only hope the same doesn't happen to my colleague. Other than her refusing to a knowledgeher HA & this periodic pain, she is such a nice person, and extremely caring to others if they are in need. Very strange!
The HA may be the first and last warning she ever gets. My mum never got one - her first HA ended her life. Your friend has the chance to change things now. What happened after her HA when she was discharged? Did she attend cardiac rehab?
She was back in work only 2wks after. No further appointments as she won't attend. I'm upset about it but as a colleague, not a friend, she won't listen to me, or indeed anyone. And frankly sounds like she isn't bothered. Although on Friday she said it scared her slightly.
A few weeks after a HA the patient normally receives a letter or a phone call regarding cardiac rehab. It’s an amazing 8-week course with cardiac nurses to help them get back to normal, and it’s highly recommended she goes. In addition to physical exercise to help the patient get back to moving normally, there’s also a lot of serious lifestyle advice, i.e. stopping smoking, diet, alcohol use, etc.
Thankyou x
I'm so sorry to read your sad news also x
think your colleague is very lucky to be working with someone who shows so much concern over the wellbeing of her colleagues.
From what you say (in response to other comments) it sounds as though there is little you can do to help this colleague until she wants help or support.
However, there may be ways in which you can influence what happens in your workplace which supports or undermines healthy choices. For example: do work practices encourage or undermine healthy eating? Does your workplace offer any physical activity promoting initiatives or well-being support? There is information about developing Healthy Workplaces online and your Human resource department may need encouraging to act on these.
I used to work in Health Promotion and we used to offer support in developing relevant policies, but sadly, funding for that has ben re-allocated(!!!!!) and it's not so easy to find help, but it is in the employer's interests to promote practices which support healthy choices.
You can't do it all yourself, but you could prompt action which will benefit more of your colleagues now and in the future.
Thanks so much. I will definitely be in touch with our HR department now. Fab idea. X
hi. You could give her some literature about why these things are important. In the end, though, it’s up to her. Good luck!!🙏
Thanks x
It's lovely that you care about her and want her to care about herself sufficiently to make healthy lifestyle changes. Perhaps let her know that you are worried about her and ask her what she would find helpful from you in terms of support, or try articulating to her how kind she is to others and ask what advice she would give to someone else if they were in her shoes ... sometimes that can help someone to be kind to themselves. Often the best support is that which empowers her rather than rescues her, if you know what I mean.
This lady is very lucky to have a colleague like you; well done for trying to reach out and ask for help.
Sadly, as I’m sure many of shared, we can’t force people to make the healthier choices but you can alleviate weight on your conscious by equipping her with the facts.
You can ask her for a frank and honest conversation - share your fears with her. Has she considered the impact of her collapsing at work could have on colleagues, or if she had another heart attack and a first aider was tasked with the responsibility of trying to save her life? Now obviously yes any of the these things can happen to anyone at any time but in her circumstances I would want to make the point that it’s about mitigating risk and increasing her chances of survival.
Or if you don’t feel comfortable approaching that kind of conversation directly then I would suggest sharing your worries with your line manager so that they can reassure you and possibly help too.
Ultimately if this lady has all the facts and decides to make the same choices then that is her will. You then just need to protect yourself as best you can so that if the worst happens at work, you can mentally deal with that ordeal.
You will be in my thoughts and I sincerely hope that she listens to you 🤞🏼🤞🏼
Best wishes
Soap 🧼
Hello there. I can really relate to your post as my husband has had 4 bypass surgeries over 20 years and although he does not smoke or drink, he eats a really bad diet and is very overweight. We have been together 30 years and I have learnt a number of things in this dept. I hope they are of some help to you in easing your mind.
1. I cannot control the lifestyle choices of others
2. If someone has had the information and support to make changes and they choose not too, that is not my responsibility.
3. I can still love and support someone even though they make different choices, but I need to stop trying to be in control (and therefore feel responsible) or I will make myself ill with worry.
This may sound harsh, but I have learnt that if someone else’s behaviour is making me anxious (and I am a very anxious person) I need to work on how I think about the situation.
Wishing you the very best
Thankyou. I'll try to work on myself ♥ xx
hello everyone im new here on april 1st ive had a HA it was the most scary thing ever I am 49 years old
Hi caya49
Welcome to the forum! I’m sorry to hear about your heart attack recently. I was also in a similar position last year. There are many others on here that can empathise with you so don’t be afraid to reach out and post any questions that you might have when you’re ready. Hope you’re recovering well so far.
Tos x
hi caya49 I had my first heart attack in April aswell I am 45 had 2 stents fitted on the road to recovery ❤️🩹 I totally agree very scary I love this forum so informative everyone so nice 😊
hello Magmagrose. sorry for the late reply nice to meet you ive had my HA on the first how about you? do you still feel discomfort and pain sometimes
hiya nice to meet you too I am doing well Thankyou I hope you are too still get the occasional pain and discomfort but often think it’s in my mind
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