I’m away from here. I have found this forum to be a waste of time. This because: too many people whinging; too many trivial posts, jokes, quizzes etc; too many nasty people who proffer advice then, criticise because it’s not taken. This is supposed to help fellow hearties but, it doesn’t. I came here because I wanted to find a way to overcome the anxiety and depression that my HF has given me. However, those just increase when I read some of the posts. Goodbye.
I’m Leaving: I’m away from here. I have... - British Heart Fou...
I’m Leaving
48 Replies
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Dear You,
I hope that this reaches you before you pull the plug .
I am so sorry that you found the forum to be not for you and for the reasons you have stated.
Please remember that HealthUnlocked is a vast site and I am sure that another forum may be of use to you if you still need help.
Take care, you leaving is a sad lost to this community but I totally respect your decision to do so.
You've made the right decision for you if this forum wasn't helping you. Let it go. Anger just makes you feel worse and it's not worth the energy. Be kind to yourself and best wishes finding the support you need. There's always the option of returning another day.
in reply to Rainfern
👍👍👍
Hello 
I do not know who has left here as I cannot see any username now but I am really sorry you have and did not stay to talk things through maybe message the person that you feel is upsetting you
I have anxiety and depression from my heart events and have found nothing but support the jokes and quizzes help to lift a lot of spirits up on here when people are down but I know they are not for everyone I could never answer the quizzes but I just have a quick look and smile at those that can and enjoy them and I hope if I have seen you post that I have tried to help you and sometimes I think it is better to bypass posts we do not enjoy and look for the ones that we maybe able to support with
I wish you well and hope you get the help you need and sorry to see you go x
fairgo45 in reply to
As the poster has left us I doubt he/she will be able to read all these comments.
in reply to fairgo45
Hello
They have not locked their post so if they did come on just to have a look they would be able to read it
If you lock your post then you have to join to read posts
You can always tell if a post is locked as next to it there will be a little padlock symbol which means it is locked if there is no padlock symbol then it is open for anyone to read
Hope you have had a nice day x
I love this forum with it's mixture of serious posts and the fun one's that take our minds off of our hearts for a short while, love the quizzes too.
I'm sorry to see you leave.
Jean
I agree with you Jean, life is taken too seriously, there’s lots of help on here but sometimes people need to lighten up as well. Of course you can’t please all the people all of the time. I’ve lived a long time and I’ve learnt only to fuss the big stuff, just roll with all the small stuff.
I agree I love the forum. I very rarely post, but read it everyday, and I have found a lot of very useful information. And I love the jokes.
MichaelJHHeart Star
Many that leave reinvent themselves in particular those with some sort of agenda!
Kristin1812Heart Star
When someone with heart issues wants help and advice I was pretty confident that they would get it here.
So when we get a post saying they are unhappy enough with the BHF site to leave, I am concerned.
Helpfully this person has articulated the reasons for their departure. Too much whinging; too many trivial posts, jokes, quizzes etc; …..
They expected help finding a way to manage anxiety and depression with HF. Thats a valid reason, I think?
So isn’t it time to listen, and reflect on how to better meet a valid call for help?
in reply to Kristin1812
Hello
I do think there is a mixture of posts on here and certain posts help some more than others
I would not know where to start with a quiz but I just pass them by as I can see others enjoy them and move on to the one's I maybe able to help
Regretfully I cannot see who the person is that has left but sad they have and I am sure if they had anxiety and was struggling just like me I would no doubt have been drawn to them and tried to help the best I could
Maybe they were given support we cannot see and maybe it was not enough and I know anxiety and depression can at times make you angry and frustrated so even though they have given reasons why they left they may have been out of frustration because the support was just not enough that we could offer
Just my thoughts and I do hope if they cannot get the help they need they may come back x
jeanjeannie50 in reply to
It was Wolfman7 that left.
in reply to jeanjeannie50
Hello
I am not always so good remembering names I usually go on the picture so it is not ringing any bells I wished I could remember though because I would hope I had tried to help
Hope you are ok Jean x
jeanjeannie50 in reply to
Yes, all well with me thanks. If you look at the BHF email from Wolfman7 in your IN box you should see his icon.
in reply to jeanjeannie50
Jean I will be honest here I never look at them in my inbox I just keep following Alerts on here I just delete them all and I will be honest and say why it is my ocd strikes again I cannot bear seeing my inbox full and just straight away delete without reading if I got a warning I would never see it unless the messaged me on here 
x
jeanjeannie50 in reply to
That's fine we all have our little quirks. I hate seeing lots of posts etc in my IN box too. Just working my way through them now. xxx
in reply to jeanjeannie50
Times like this though I wished I had looked as I would love to be able to remember who they were x
How did you work that out Jean are you a bit of a sleuth
I've been on this forum for quite a few years, being shortly after it was started and have worked using computers since the 1980's. I'd deleted the post, but fortunately not the ones in my deleted bin. When a post comes to our IN box it shows the persons name and icon, even if they've left the forum. So I looked in my deleted folder and there it was.
Yes, I must admit I am a bit of a sleuth.
Jean
Hello
That is a great idea however wait for this
I have been on here years I was always on the anxiety forums before my heart events and I did Admin over the years 2 of them
But moderating is really hard work you are forever getting complaints each you have to look at that eventually stops you from been able to be a member anymore because you are to busy moderating
Alongside this as well if you start here as a member and you have made good connections with others and you get a report about them you can end up losing those people if you need to take action as friends
So if members wanted to moderate they need to take a lot into account and if they think they don't mind some of the things I have pointed out been part of that role then go for it x
Personal attacks and unkind posts make my blood boil but people whinging, trivia, jokes, quizzes why would that bother people? Water off a ducks back to me.
I do appreciate why people visit a site like this but I am Heather, not Heather who has had bypass surgery, a stroke, and 2 stents. There is more to me than just my medical issues.
I will always share my experience if asked or I see someone is going through the same issues I did.
If I needed advice or help I would ask, that doesn't mean there isn't another side of me I am a whole person with heart issues and but don't want to be defined by just that.
If people choose to leave because they don't like what is posted then that is their choice, I will say I think it is a little thoughtless of them as they may have information, advice or experience that will help others.
Just my opinion of course.
At the moment the sun is shining here in South Wales (although not for long) I am looking forward to having a few friends and relatives around tomorrow to watch the Coronation. They will be arriving from 9 am to watch the European Royalty and dignitaries arriving, I will start the morning off with Bucks Fizz and Eggs Benedict, then we have a variety of meats, salad, new pots etc etc for lunch and grazing food including (of course) Coronation chicken sandwiches for the afternoon. All washed down with Pimms!!
This is my first, and maybe only Coronation and I am going to enjoy it. I don't agree with everything that is happening but why spoil a once in a lifetime event by moaning.
I appreciate this has nothing to do with heart problems but life is for living so while we can let's do just that.
Oh and here comes the rain!
Have I mentioned I am off to Orlando on Tuesday!!
Happy Days!!
Well said Heather1957.
in reply to Heather1957
well put, and enjoy that Orlando sunshine and hospitality when Tuesday comes x
in reply to Heather1957
Hello Heather
Yes well said
I thought you would be doing something special for the Coronation I did not realised it started as early as 9am though 
You are eating posh tomorrow your menu beats my smoked salmon and prawns anyday
I agree this maybe the only Coronation we see and I am excited I have seen the Queens only on TV before I was born but to be part of History and actually watching one when it is taking place I think is something special
Again only my opinion of course and I hope you have a lovely day x
Heather1957 in reply to
I don't know, smoked salmon and prawns sounds very upmarket. I am a bit fussy when it comes to seafood. I don't mind prawns as long as they have been cleaned. I am going to give crab a go when I go to Alaska in June, I have been watching YouTube tutorials so I know how to eat it them, we will also be going to a diner at Clearwater (Florida) called Crabby Bills so will try some there.
Enjoy your day tomorrow whatever you have planned!
in reply to Heather1957
Hello
I agree it is not down market but still not as posh as yours is
Crab I think I might like that and I love how you have been looking up how to eat them I think I would have to have just the meat I could not cope with the shell
You do have some lovely Holidays and go to some really nice places
Throwing it down with rain here I hope the weather is better tomorrow especially with the Coronation and if I have to say myself no other Country can do a parade like we do makes you so proud to be British at times like this x
Heather1957 in reply to
Totally - however, I always worry about those horses!
in reply to Heather1957
I know what you mean x
I'm watching the Coronation from New Zealand love all the pomp and Ceremony no one does it better than the British Long Live the King !!!
Enjoy even though it's an unearthly hour.
Sounds great-enjoy it all
They can still see the messages, just can't reply to them without rejoining.
I think most people on this forum are like you. Wanting a bit of moral support and reassurance. Heart disease is frightening and even the slightest bit of encouragement and hope goes a long way in helping in the battle of cardiac illnesses. However people need to understand that any negative comments can have a huge impact on the wellbeing of other members. It can cause a lot of stress whether it’s intentional or not. Contributors should bear this in mind when they submit any remarks. Remember this is a site to help people not make them feel more depressed and frightened. Good luck in your own heart health journey x
I'm really sorry that the forum has been unable to help you. I've only found it reasonably recently & like you i have not necessarily managed to find too many with my current specific heart issues & associated heart issue concerns, INSTEAD i have found many posts from those who seem more ill with heart conditions than I currently am - me being in the early stages of investigations only - AND those posts have assisted me generally to not panic about my future & current heart health due to the cheerfulness, brightness, encouragement, positivity and friendliness of those either in the initial post or in the responses. Lots of us have other heath issues as well as heart & so are likely to mention them in posts & therefore response posts might be gauged to suit those issues - rather than the original heart issue.
None of us are Doctors - we can only assist each other regarding heart issues to the extent of or linked with our individual experiences BUT we can assist each other in getting through each day. AND from what i've seen lots of the heart condition posts mention anxiety, depression, loneliness, frustration & boredom of enforced inactivity / inability to do things due to their heart issues & it seems reasonable that people want to ask & receive ideas on how to ease these symptoms & feelings as they are all linked into raising our blood pressure & potentially making our heart iissues worse. Lots of people will find jokes, quizes & tales of what other heart patients are doing a lifeline to feeling that somewhere out there life is continuing & that even if confined to their own four walls due to their heart issues they can still join in. Others might find ideas / suggestions to help useful.
Please try to remember that everyone is different & needs different things at different times from the forum ... skip the things you don't like or are no help to you & read other things AND if your own questions / concerns aren't answered in posts then please start a new one & ask the question. I'm sure you would get a response!
I don't know who you are, AND I apologise if any of my posts (including the one above) have upset you AND I wish you all the best with your heart issue, and especially your anxiety & depression issues. Please do seek help from your GP with these.
As I say on here from time to time it's sad when someone leaves, more so when they take the trouble to say why they are leaving in apparent frustration, as in this case in no uncertain terms. However I think the person who left has made a number of very valid points, I have been on here for just over a year and have noticed that the 'character' and balance has changed in the last few months, and the OP is right, there are too many trivial posts, quizzes, jokes etc and what is now seeming to be a weekly moan-in about the way the admins are responding to bad behaviour reports. However more importantly I perceive the number of serious questions and replies seems to be diminishing, but I may be wrong on that. So my comment on that is if that's how the content of the site is evolving so be it. But it may well not suit everybody, and so don't be surprised when more people just drift away, because those who join usually have a heart related health reason for participating , not just the need to have a chat.
Hello
Well as far as I know you would join HU again but maybe some join in a different user name and you would never notice they were the same member at this stage and then any unlocked posts no matter what Community if they were unlocked they can view without joining that Community
Sometimes you can put a question in Google search engine and the replies on HU will show up if that post has not been locked so anyone could come across a post that has not been locked
Nothing is 100% secure but locking your posts if you want to try and keep some privacy is a good idea I always lock mine
Not sure if I am making any sense but hopefully I have explained how it works x
Yes if they join HU but they do not have to join here this Community to be able to come on and read unlocked posts
For example if you go and say have a look on another Community that you are not a member of because you are a member on HU without even joining that Community you would be able to read any unlocked posts and replies
That is right when you do a post to lock it to this Community so you have to be a member on here to read it you choose the option Community only x
No-one is stopped from asking questions re heart health and there are always helpful replies. However, laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. It certainly helps me when I'm depressed. If there are too many posts I just scroll on by. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for.
This forum, indeed most forums, can be considered to be like a television. You can flick through the posts and pick up on the ones that interest you, just as you can flick through the channels on a television. It is not mandatory to read down every thread. Jokes, quizzes, whatever... if you don't like them then pass them by, just like the majority of us do with the shopping channels on the television.
in reply to MountainGoat52
Indeed you are absolutely right that this forum is like a television. The trouble is when the quality of the programmes gets worse and you just end up channel flicking to find something you want to watch, there comes a point where you start to watch it increasingly less frequently, and in the end rarely watch it at all. Which is where I am at present with our TV, as I have found other stuff to do.
MountainGoat52 in reply to
Precisely the same here. I play more music myself if I am relaxing - MP3/CD/Vinyl as I don't want someone else dictating what I listen to, what with their inane prattle interspersed between the songs . We need to be more discerning about what we see, watch, read.... and if it doesn't meet our personal requirements, move on and do something else. I'm sure our mental and physical health will ge much better for it. 😀
I quite often pop onto the thyroid forum (which I'm not a member of) and I can see the posts, but not answer.
They can still be on Health Unlocked if they use another forum on there. I'm on the Atrial Fibrillation (AF) one as well as here and can look at any others even though I'm not a member. The AF forum is a fantastic one, with so many caring people. Some members (mainly men) have had little spats at times, but it is soon resolved.
When I came onto this forum a year or so ago I was immediately attacked and scurried away wounded, vowing never to come back. It appears now that those doing the attacking have left as I don't see their names here now.
My experience with the heart is through having an abnormal rhythm for 18 years, it made me feel totally drained and at times I could barely walk from one room in my house to another. I would also spend a lot of time in hospital. I noticed that a lot of people were coming onto the BHF forum needing advice re AF and I thought I could help them as I'd had many procedures carried out, over the years, and understood how awful it can make some people feel. I'm now fit enough to walk our hilly coastline. I have noticed that a few more members from the AF forum are also on this one now.
Jean
I thought that ' Hidden' was their chosen user name as I have seen quite a few posts and comments from this person over a period of time. That's me being naive I suppose. Just had a thought, perhaps they are a Jekyll and Hyde character one nice user persona and one nasty.😊 😤 just to stir things up. That's my warped mind, sense of humour coming to the fore.😁
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