Getting out

[Czech_Mate]

Having got to see the cardiologist yesterday, he seems to think I'm in permanent Afib (allowing for translation, the Czech word used can also mean "long term"). Certainly I'm feeling less energetic and generally weaker recently. He suggested upping the metropolol I take from 12.5mg per day to 25mg per day, still a relatively small dose. I have a pacemaker set to keep my heart going at least 60bpm so there's no risk my heart will go too slow, but I'll watch out for other side effects.

Anyway my main concern is how much less I want to socialise these days. I've always tended to be introvert, I recharge my batteries by being alone. For me alone is not lonely. However, I've had a few activities that I do with other people. However in my present situation I've become unreliable, I find that I've promised to meet someone or do something then I just don't feel up to it and cancel. You can't do that for long and you lose those contacts altogether. Is anyone else going through something similar?

[Hidden]

Dear You,

I agree with your words  'For me alone is not lonely' and I follow a similar path, like you I spend many hours alone but I am not lonely.

The only way you can maintain the outside contacts/meet ups/ social happenings is to make the effort and believe me it is worth making.

I find that I appreciate that time more by doing so, it also makes me be more productive with my time without anyone else's involmemt.

Its a life we have chosen , but it needs a balance, yours is a bit out at the moment, so make the effort, you will feel better for it.

Take care

[Czech_Mate in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your reply. There's something about making commitments and arranging to do things with people that I'm struggling with, knowing that I could let them down.

For example I've been going with the pooch to canistherapy, visiting various institutions with the dog to help the patients. Thing is she's quite well behaved inside, but we have to pass a test of behaviour outside before we can do the canistherapy test itself. We've tried 2 trainers who have told me that we couldn't pass, and we started visiting a third class, but haven't been for 3weeks now. I'm coming to the conclusion that we can't go regularly enough to have a chance and even then with the canistherapy visits we are starting to be unreliable.

I know that with this condition I have to adjust my life somewhat. I'm trying to find the right balance for me.

Thanks for listening. Have a good rest of the day.

[Hidden]

Hello

When I became agoraphobic I was like you and was never that bothered about going out and then something happened when I was out and I started making excuses why I could not go places and the next minute I could not get out the front door I stayed in that long finding valid reasons to do so and here I still am over 20 years later

Also friends did stick by me for quite a while but eventually they started getting on with their life's and one by one they disappeared leaving me now basically as we say Billy no mates

So what I would ask myself is that yes if you feel unwell then by all means stay in but if you are getting into a habit where you are feeling I just cannot be bothered to go out then nip that in the bud straight away and force yourself to do it because as much as I like my own company and been in eventually there comes a time when you feel very lonely

Not sure if this will help but where you can do keep trying to get out x

[Czech_Mate in reply to Hidden]

Hello BK

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

I enjoy going out for a walk alone or with our dog and or wife. Cavalierrubie has summarised below how I feel about being unpredictable and unreliable. However, you and Blue above are probably right about trying to motivate myself to go out (and socialize) and not get into the "I can't be bothered" frame of mind. I have to work this out. I'll think about it on my walk tomorrow. 🤔

[Hidden in reply to Czech_Mate]

Hello

Give it some thought on your walk tomorrow that is a good idea x

[Czech_Mate]

Hi there

I don't have a joke today, but a poem came into my head when I was out with the pooch. Not just any poem but an ode:

Ode to the bank manager by CM

This month has been more difficult than most,

I.O.U. ten pounds, the cheque's in the post

[Cavalierrubie]

l am the same. I recharge my batteries when l am alone. Unfortunately since my diagnosis of AF, l have been very wary of arranging to go out because AF is so unpredictable and therefore makes you unreliable. It’s hard because that is not how you want to be. I always say that l will try. I think most people are understanding and you know who your true friends are. I do not have permanent AF (yet), but l have been told that you feel better with that than on and off. Remember you can always come home, it is not a shameful thing to have to do that. Don’t let it define who you are. My best wishes to you.

[Czech_Mate in reply to Cavalierrubie]

Thanks for your input. I see you understand. I feel the socialising I do is slipping away. I have been going to a U3A (University of the 3rd Age) course on Thursday afternoons on Forestry. It's not so much a course as a series of lectures. It's finished now until October. However, if I am honest I didn't really socialise there, although I found it interesting. Then there is the canistherapy I mentioned above in my reply to Blue1958 which I feel is slipping through my fingers. So yes I've got to work this out for myself and develop things that work for me. There are many other factors that I should consider.

Once again thanks for your help and have a good evening.

[Cavalierrubie in reply to Czech_Mate]

l hope things work out for you, and you get your confidence back and a good quality of life that suits yourself. I am sure if you take it one day at a time and not worry, or rush it will get better. There are many people that are alone. I find usually when one door shuts another is opened. Things never stay the same and one thing you can rely on is change. The key is to not worry what others think and to just be yourself. Thank God we are all different and unique. They say God has his quiet ones and l think they are very much needed. Have good evening too thank you.

[Czech_Mate in reply to Cavalierrubie]

As my Dad used to say in his sarcastic moments (of which he had quite a few : "As one door closes, so another one shuts"

Wonder why I am like I am 🤔 🙃

[Cavalierrubie in reply to Czech_Mate]

Now it is all clear !!!! 😂😂

[Czech_Mate]

Sometimes when logic fails a little nonsense helps.

[gladliz]

Hi Just read your post and know what you mean, I am not what you would call a 'sociable' person. My partner on the other hand will talk to anybody, including himself and people who aren't actually present. 😊😊. However I digress. I find that I am less inclined to go places/meet people these days and put it down to 3 years of more or less enforced inactivity and a distrust of maskless😬 germ factories. Even more so now, as after all this time of avoiding it, my partner and I are still recovering from a recent attack of the Voldamorts.😷

Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and go and I very often find that I actually enjoy myself more than I thought I would. 😊