Hey Everyone
Firstly Thanks for all the lovely comments on my post about Mum.
I'm in my room while Mum's gone to slimming world. I'm suddenly feeling fed up and hopeless, I've pick up a book then got bored, I've played on my switch and got bored, I've put the TV on and guess what... I got bored.
A friend recommended a cup of herbal tea to relax me, but it's not helping, I just want to cry but I don't know why I want to cry
Sorry just wanted to vent
V x
No apology needed V you need to vent you been through sooo much I would be crying aswell! X 💔
It's difficult to keep your spirits up all the time... you've been through so much, it's only human to feel a bit blue.
We've all been through it and still go through it... feel what you're feeling! You'll get through this as well.
we are listening, feel free to vent, you’ve definitely earned it. Xxx
With all you’ve been through, a cry is only natural.
Absolutely get this V
I said to so many people since my HA that it's an emotional rollercoaster, I find that really difficult at times .
Certainly the first few weeks after I came out my emotions were all over the place !
If you need to cry then cry !
There is no right or wrong way to deal with this .
Someday's I can feel really down other days I'm more positive about the future
Infact that can sometimes change from minute to minute.
But it's good that you talk about it .
Don't bottle it up V xx
I'm just missing my old life (old I mean pre HA and CA even pre pneumonia)
I want to go for a run, I want to eat and drink what I like, I want to work.
There’s nothing concrete to say that you can’t get back there.
I feel like these events are a bit of a grieving process; you grieve for who you were before, you grieve your frustration with your current limitations and also the limbo cycle we can often find ourselves in. I’m terrible for not being the on in control of my life - I like to know where I’m at and do things on my terms. But being a hearty deprives you of that at times; it’s ok to find that hard and feel upset by that too!
It might be beneficial to try and reframe your current situation. Maybe think of it as a health sabbatical 😉 and once you have been given the green light, you can slower but surely start reclaiming all the things you love; it will come.
In the meantime, you’re in good company; if venting and good cry is what you need, do it 🤗🤗 Soap 🧼 x
I know 😟 X
I was actually given the go ahead to restart C25k but then hurt my back on a bike ride !
So at the moment nearly everything is on hold .
And to be honest cardiac rehab in this area is only by telephone support.
I actually feel I have just been left to it and it's a bit of guess work .
I am actually undecided if I want to go back to work or not !
That's something I keep changing my mind about !
I do keep trying to remember how much I hate this time of year at work and I even wished last year I could have the time off.
I want to start running again but I can just about walk 500m without getting great so running a 5k at the moment is just an impossible dream.
My rehab we're in person and quite friendly last time but I've got another 2 weeks before my assessment. It's so frustrating
It will come !I don't doubt that .
May just take some time though , concentrate on your recovery and I'm sure the rest will happen.
I have a so called telephone assessment next week (for what it's worth)
Basically my whole rehab has consisted of a load of leaflets through the post and several telephone calls where I'm just basically told to go out and walk !
But, I'll get there and so will you !
just give yourself time x
Evening V, sorry you feel down, hopefully by now you might be feeling better (particularly if you managed to get the sun today, (has done me the world of good).
In regards to doing 5k and only doing 500m walk now (and that should be celebrated), let me just ask you this, what could you do 2/3/4 weeks ago and then think what you can do in 1/2/3 months time.
I think you said work said don't come back till after the summer holidays, there was a point to that and they were right.
From knowing a bit about you, I feel you are like me, in that if you feel OK even for a day then you should be able to do what you could before. I know from my life's experience it doesn't work that way I am afraid.
You will get there though however it will take time as because what your body has been through was seismic and even though your young it still takes time to heal.
As ever thinking of you.
You know what, that's exactly it!!
Work said no rush so I told them it will be at least September.
Hello 
I am used to been stuck in and can only imagine when someone is used to going to work and been out how hard it must be
I wonder if you could set yourself some kind of project to do maybe some work so when you go back to work you can include it in your lessons things you would not normally have the time to look into but at the moment you have
I have started crafting making cards gift tags all different kinds of things till the nice weather comes and I can get into my garden
Your emotions are going to be all over the place you have been through 2 ordeals in such a short space of time you would not be normal if you did not keep having these moments but it is going to get better you wait and see meanwhile set some goals that you enjoy and can do at home you could make something for Mothers day on May for your Mum maybe sometimes homemade things can mean more than bought things
We are here for you but you know that x
Completely understandable V, you've been through so much and there comes a point when it all catches up with you, your body just needs to cry. Happens on and off for me too. Out of the blue, or sometimes a noise, the weather, the other day just making a cup of tea set the tears flowing. I think it's the bodys way of coping and releasing tension we might not even know is there, I often feel a bit better after a good cry though.
Not surprised you feel down after all you have been through. Tears are good, embrace them. Remember nothing goes on forever and life will have an upturn, hang onto that. Best wishes. X
Best best time to cry when you’re alone . It’s your body telling you it needs a cry. Mine did that recently and I took a walk alone across the fields to do just that! Guess what I couldn’t cry to save my life 🤣🤣🤣
You're allowed to cry Valentina, it's understandable given what you've been through - it's good for the soul and sometimes you even get a little bonus by feeling better afterwards! If I'm really down in the dumps (rarely, thankfully!) I always loose myself in music and my favourite song for this in the whole world is "Summertime" a lullaby from Gershwins Porgy & Bess. Bess is quietly singing her crying baby to sleep - and, personally, I think the second verse gives everyone hope for better days to come. She's reassuring the baby that one day in the future, he'll wake up one special morning singing and full of joy and until this happens he'll always be looked after. It always makes my eyes water a little bit - must be the hayfever! 😀
Of course you are going to feel overwhelmed every so often. You didn’t ask for all this in your life. It’s unfair and it’s miserable.
However, you seem to be a wonderfully and determinedly upbeat person most of the time. That will help pull you through the times when you feel oppressed and low.
As BeKind suggested-maybe you could get stuck into some aspect of history you’ve never had time to read up about or take up a new interest.( I have a friend who took up patchwork/quilting and has made some fabulous things. ) Are there any decent charity shops with books near you where you could pick up a selection of books at not too great expense?
You also say you can just about walk 500m, would you be able to gradually and gently increase that? Or could you divide it into 2 walks per day of 300m on fairweather days to help build up your stamina? Or are there gentle exercises you could do throughout the day-10 squats one hour/10 knee raises the next type thing to get stronger by stealth?
Sometimes a sense of purpose/achievement can help in times of set backs.
I do feel for you and send you my very best supportive wishes.
big virtual hugs V
If you want to cry, then cry. It's a release of some of your emotions. Go with the flow, it's ok . I used to have times when I could be mid chat with my family and the tears would start out of the blue. Then it would pass. After your experiences, you will have ups and downs - just reassure yourself that however you feel is fine for that moment 🤗
I'm not surprised you feel like crying! Over the last 6 weeks you have gone from being "healthy" at work to having your second HA, not to mention the pneumonia. It takes time for all what has happened to sink in and for your brain to "acclimatise" to the changes. Try taking up a simple new hobby. Before the dreaded virus in 2020 and 10 days in hospital with pneumonia, I was active doing excavations etc. When I came home from hospital I could hardly do the stairs at home! So I decided to learn to make simple books - 3 hole pamphlet stitch! 3 years later I now have a new engrossing hobby (and am back digging). Watch Vintage Page Designes on YouTube and follow her on FB as she puts up new easy things weekly. This is a simple 10 minute notebook. You don't need any extra supplies just copy paper, thicker paper, a needle and cotton! youtube.com/watch?v=BLaJqjj... Good luck
maybe worth considering to be referred and attend some counselling sessions.
You’ve been through a lot and you might need professional help to process it all, sounds to me that you might be depressed.
Big hug
This is exactly why we are here! When we feel frustrated,hopeless,fed up...we have all been here at some stage and know exactly how you feel. When we are trotting along enjoying life and are stopped in our tracks it takes some time to process it all and sometimes that will hit a person straight away and others a little after.I am currently away in Scotland and going to Dalscone Farm today to spend the day with baby donkeys,pygmy goats and lambs!! My happy place i go to on facebook to forget everything and today get to see it all in person🥰
Sending love and hugs your way! Jules x
Everyone needs a goal in life; to feel wanted, needed, useful. Your g oal has been taken away ( for now). Your goal was your work which you can't do just yet so can you think of something you could be doing maybe to make life easier when you do go back to work? Making visual aids, lesson plans, more research? Even a new hobby. When I became bedridden I took up painting and became quite good and started getting commissions. It made me feel useful. When even that became too difficult ( spinal problems not heart) I decided to learn a new language. YOu need something to make you feel successful even if it's only adding 10 steps to your walks. Would the school have any ideas of something you could help with from home?
You say you don't know what you want, but then you say what you DO want, and that is to cry. It may be a bit late for me to say this, but if that is the one thing you want, then have a good cry and see how things are after that. Whatever you are going through, remember, this too will pass. It has too because it is a law of the universe that change (for good or ill) is the one thing we can be certain of. Your having a good cry may speed up the change you desire.🤗
Praying 🙏 for you to have your health and life restored. My heart goes out to you. If you are bored, try reading the Bible, there is so much in there. Read the Psalms, many have cries for help with a divine response that will bring encouragement.
Accepting the bad, sad, really difficult days help to make us realise that the days of slow progress are still good, and make the really noticible good days even better.
Cry when you need to .... tears of grieving for what used to be / what you used to be able to do, tears for all your pain while being ill & through recovery, tears of frustration when you can't manage to do something & tears of joy when you can, tears of perseverance as you keep on trying & as step by step / little by little you are slowly able to do more, tears of happiness as you recover & get well, & even more joyful tears again when you finally get to where you want to be / what you want to do, with tears of acceptance & contentment if you cant & if you find you have to acknowledge life will be different.
You are doing so well. Keep fighting for your health and your recovery. Good luck
Join the club. I just cry thinking of the past and now the future. I don't know what to say. It's hard and it's that constant niggling worry. Mine is different because I was born with it but I just assumed I was normal. but now. I want to go back to my normal where I knew nothing about this problem. I don't know what to say. But a good cry does help.
Fed up 
Confused and fed up
Fed up with feelings 
Fed up!
