Feeling upset

[Wildswimmer73]

Yesterday I had an appointment with my cardiologist and now I’ve been told that open water swimming is no longer safe for me to do (as well as pretty much everything else that brings me joy). Certainly can’t do anything that I couldn’t get myself out of, if I was in difficulty. Anyone with words of comfort and wisdom? Well meaning folk think that it’s enough that I’m alive, but I can’t say I feel the same way.

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

The Portuguese have a word Saudade. It sort of means a wistful longing for our former Iives and grieving for the loss of the future we thought we were going to have.

All of us when faced with a life changing illness may find it difficult to let go graciously, aspects of our former lives.

It takes time and a process of learning new ways of bringing joy into your life. Be patient it will take time to say goodbye to some of your activities, then you may be able to start exploring other opportunities and activities.

I had to let go many aspects of my former life when I was diagnosed with vasospastic angina.

I had to take early ill health retirement from my much loved profession of 30 years.

It took me a while to come to terms with the loss of part of my identity.

I grieved, it hurt . Now looking back 10 years on, I know it was the the right decision.

However as one door closes others have opened for me.

I tried activities I had never done before. Been given all sorts of opportunities and met some very interesting and inspirational people along the way.

Oh and I got a dog! I never realised how important having a dog in my life would be. She brings me lots of fun and joy.

[Wildswimmer73 in reply to Milkfairy]

Thanks Milkfairy. I’d love a dog but as I live on my own I need a breed that doesn’t mind if I’m not well enough to take it out for walks everyday. I’ve got a secure garden though so that helps, any ideas?

[Milkfairy Heart Star in reply to Wildswimmer73]

I am no dog expert. I came late to dog ownership.

During the first 2020 lockdown, my 3 adult children returned home from their post graduate and under graduate studies for 6 months.

They suggested we got a dog. They now joke that my dog, Millie is my favourite 4th child!

They helped with all the heavy lifting of having a puppy from 8 weeks.

They all then left me with a house trained dog whom I trained and walk daily.

You could consider an older rescue dog that doesn't require lots of exercise. There are various schemes which you can join where people will volunteer to walk your dog for you or a dog walker maybe able to help.

borrowmydoggy.com/

Maybe another option is a cat?

[MummaSoap]

Hi Wildswimmer

I’m sorry that you’ve received this sad news as its clearly a hobby that you’re very passionate about!

Is it a definite never again or a currently for the foreseeable?

Perhaps photography in particular, of open water swimmers would provide an opportunity to still enjoy the pastime from a different viewpoint?

My Grandad always used to say “it’s not about the years in your life, but the life in your years” and I can sympathise with your last comment if you feel like all the enjoyment of your life has been taken from you.

You can still find joy in the world and perhaps there are hobbies that were made for Wildswimmer73 that you haven’t even discovered or considered before! Might I suggest drumming? It gives your arms a workout like swimming would and it feels damn good when you’re playing a beat that really needs a good amount of oompf behind it!!

Don’t give up hope, but also be patient with yourself. It’s understandable that you feel frustrated and disappointed, I would say that’s a pretty normal reaction.

Keep us updated with how your doing and what new hobbies you try out - happy exploring!

Best wishes

Soap 🧼

[Wildswimmer73 in reply to MummaSoap]

Thanks MummaSoap, it looks like it’s going to be forever. I’m not sure I can bear the thought of watching other people swim when I can’t. I like your idea of learning an instrument though, I used to play piano when I was a child and I have thought about taking it up again.

[MummaSoap in reply to Wildswimmer73]

I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a hug! 🤗

It’s a grieving process and this is still very raw for you so I can completely understand not wanting to be a spectator.

I can recommend guitar as well, if you learn by tab learning it’s very easy to learn but if you want to learn properly it can be a little more challenging - but what’s life without a challenge!!

Whatever hobbies you choose to explore, I wish you joy as you work out what else you like and what you don’t - happy adventuring!

Best wishes

Soap 🧼

[Wildswimmer73]

Thanks runforhealth, got any ideas for breeds that won’t mind if I’m not well enough to take it for a walk everyday?

[Wildswimmer73]

I have thought about taking up an instrument as I played piano when I was a child, never considered guitar before though, is it relatively easy to get started ?

[Valentina98]

Hey Wild swimmer

I used to run and since my heart attack I haven't been able to so I kinda understand how you feel.

Do you have any other hobbies or activities you enjoy doing that would be okay to do.

I'm not a dog person but a cat person, my cat Belle knows everything about me. I tell her everything. I've cried on her a few times. Plus I only have to open the door for her to go outside no walks involved

V x