Birthday on the 5th (tomorrow)... feeling odd about it... not sure why.

[DaleMarch4HA2023]

Feeling strange tonight.. 51 tomorrow.. 4 weeks since my HA and 3 weeks since my 3 stents.. feeling lucky to be alive but feel a strange guilt? (If that makes any sense?) Anyone else felt like this... or can explain why it feels like a big thing having a birthday? Thank you.

[DaleMarch4HA2023]

Thank you. Yep.. I am appreciating being still here. Think that's maybe the thing.. the what if.. and I hadn't made it. I lost a friend a few days after my event.. cancer.. in his 40s.. and I think that is why I feel strange too. The.. why him not me.

[Hidden]

Hello

I think when we have been through such a big life event it can bring up all sorts of feelings thoughts and emotions that leaves us asking why do I feel this way I believe it is part of the process of coming to terms with what has happened

Why you feel guilty could be down to all kinds of things your brain is trying to process but let the feelings come and go eventually you will be just left with that feeling of been lucky

Happy Birthday hope you have a lovely day x

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks for your kind and wise words. I think I do feel lucky... but obviously takes some getting use to.

[Hidden in reply to DaleMarch4HA2023]

Hello

You will these are very early days so be kind to yourself x

[francesw47]

Yes, a life altering event like this can throw you off course for a while. What we all have to face at some point in our lives is the fragility of our lives - and losing a friend so close to you surviving a HA will have made that more poignant. I am sorry for your loss. These events are random - there was no plan. Events can make us stop and think, and where necessary rethink aspects of who we are and how we live our lives.

Enjoy your birthday - sounds like you've had a miserable and scary time and be thankful that you have a second chance.

Happy birthday - and may you have many many more to come!!

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to francesw47]

Thank you. You've hit the nail on the head I think. 🙂

[DaleMarch4HA2023]

100... yep... see you in 49 years time then! 🙂❤️

[Cee-Cee1]

I tend to think that after a 'health event', we all have the occasional odd day Dale, with odd thoughts and feelings and 'what ifs'. When I have the occasional days like this I give myself permission to think about it for a while and then find myself moving on to happier thoughts. You've had a hard time of it, and I'm sorry you've lost your friend too - it's bound to make you feel introspective. I'd like to wish you well today on your Birthday, and raise a glass to you for many more happy and healthy years to come. Carol

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Cee-Cee1]

Thank you Carol.I've never been so 'thoughtful' since my event and my friend's passing. Brings life (that we tend to take for granted) to the forefront of the brain. I'm def celebrating being here today! X

[Cee-Cee1]

I completely agree with you Dale - I'd a HA and triple bypass in January/February last year. I feel great now, but still have very the occasional day or night when 'thoughts' intrude . Like yourself, pre being ill, I never really took the time to think!😀

[Hjiu]

Happy Birthday 😃 My 45th birthday was my first after my STEMI and two stents. All I could think about was the fact that I should be dead right now and not here enjoying my birthday with my wife and children. I felt very lucky that we have such a great health service and health professionals to take care of us when things take a turn for the worse.

I now have two birthdays. One on the day I was born, and one on the day my life was saved. Enjoy life and this wonderful world we live in. We are all lucky to be part of the human race

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Hjiu]

I love the idea of 2 days celebration. Best wishes Dale.

[jowalk6]

Happy Birthday DaleMarch 🎂 🥳, love the picture of your dog. A lot of emotions can come with the roller coaster you've been on. I turned 50 last year and they threw me a surprise party, I had my SCA on 2014, I was so emotional and so glad to be there to celebrate it with them. I am full of emotion at the moment as my first grandchild in 7 weeks, I thank God every day I get to share this amazing time.e with my son, and he is the one who did CPR to keep me alive. Its okay to have emotions hun and hey everyday is a new day in your journey. Cherish the good times too x

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to jowalk6]

Wow... you must be so proud of your son. What a star. Thanks for you comments x

[Digger0]

Happy Birthday ! I think any major life event makes us think like that especially if it is life threatening.

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Digger0]

Manu thanks. 🙂

[Qualipop]

I will hit my 3/4 century in a week's time. Every year since my h heart attack I've felt really odd that I continue to exceed what both of my parents managed. My medical history has closely followed that of my mother all my life but she only made it to 67. I feel that somehow I shouldn't still be here

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Qualipop]

Thanks for this. I hope I have a lot more years left. My mum died 2 years ago on the day of my HA... Covid and old age.. 91. My dad 81. My extendes family make 99+ fingers crossed for me.

[Smitty1956]

Happy Birthday, DaleMarch! I hope that you have a lovely day!

You are still young to have had a HA, and I would guess that most of us would say that it was unexpected and shocking. I was 66 when I had my HA, and I was shocked and surprised.

You have had time now to slow down and think about everything. Thinking deeply about our lives can be good—reflection is good—BUT it can also be thought-provoking and/or troubling. We may face truths or realizations that are also painful.

Having your HA and stents so close to your birthday would have to bring up contrasting feelings. On one hand, you now have a new lease on life—grand possibilities for your future—hopefully many happy, productive years to live—but you likely also have faced the “what ifs”. I think that any life altering event makes us face our mortality.

In summary, I think that your feelings are normal for someone who has gone through your experience, or something similar. It was totally unexpected, scary, and you made it through. Give yourself a pat on the back and then enjoy your birthday!

P.S. if you think that you do need to talk with a professional about these feelings, then that would be a good idea too.

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Smitty1956]

I agree with everything you have said! Absolutely out of the blue.. shocking.. unexpected.I have today arranged for some therapy in the next few weeks specialising in cardiac issues.

Weird old thing mentally and physically but, I've had a good birthday. A small walk. A veggie omlette and a decaf coffee in a cafe. And even a vegan (so no butter) cake from my local cake shop. Oh.. finished with a zero corona and fresh lime!

Not my usual birthday treats... but so much healthier. And.. still happy!

Thanks for your words.

[Smitty1956 in reply to DaleMarch4HA2023]

sounds like a lovely day! Good for you. I think that I will indulge in an imaginary piece of birthday cake in your honor.

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Smitty1956]

Yeah.. a good day. But in bed now at 9.30pm.. the heart and body is saying.. enough for today! He he. Best wishes to you. Dale.

[Norton]

happy birthday and many more to come

You are just processing and grieving all at once it’s natural after what you have been through

Have a great day

[DaleMarch4HA2023 in reply to Norton]

Thank you. Been a good day in the end. But bed now. Can't stay up like I used to! But hoping that level of energy returns in the future!