Newly Diagnosed

[LakelandLassie]

I have just been told I have early stage cardiac failure, and am a bit afraid of what may happen. My doctor believes it may be connected to a Takotbuso event (broken heart syndrome), when my daughter died unexpectedly 7 years ago, and I’m so sad, as I’ve become 2nd mum to her 4 children. My husband needed to go into residential care 8 months ago as he has Parkinson’s and became abusive, and as I am in a wheelchair myself with a carer, couldn’t look after him. He hates me now.

[Hidden]

Hello

I am so sorry you have been through such an awful lot and I cannot even imagine how it affected you to lose your Daughter but can see how it could have brought on your Takotbuso event and I am so very sorry for your loss one any parent would not want to go through

You have your own health issues which have to come first because without that you are not going to be in a position to look after your wonderful Grandchildren which your Daughter has left behind and are a part of her so I know they will mean so much to you

I am sorry about your Husband's health issues to and I am sorry at this moment in time he seems to hate you as he had to go on a care home but what else could you do anyone can clearly see with your health as well as the Children it would be impossible to care for him to

He no doubt feels angry and lashing out at the moment but given time I hope that anger he has will see you are struggling yourself and had no other option and that maybe in the future visits can be made and you will be able to talk this through and he will see sense

But put this as we say on the back boiler for now you are the most important person to get your issues sorted

I hope your Doctor has referred you to the Hospital so they can find out exactly what is going of and if any treatment is needed and as scary as it sounds and feels there are treatments once you start getting the right care and they are so many members on here that are prove of that

Stay positive in the fact they may have picked something up but they have picked it up early so that puts you in a lot better place

I hope by finding us and when members share their experiences with you that it will give you some comfort to know you have somewhere to come and talk and you are not alone x

[LakelandLassie in reply to Hidden]

Aww, thank you so much, and yes, urgent referral to hospital and started on some drugs to help the breathing and blood pressure.. And my husband died in his 30s and my 1st grandson from cot death, but losing my beautiful daughter is the toughest to have to live with. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.. 💔

[Hidden in reply to LakelandLassie]

Hello

Sorry I missed your Husband had died I misread it please forgive me

O my goodness you have had so much grief around you with losing loved one's and yes I can only imagine the pain was worse losing your Daughter

You must be stronger than you maybe feel to get through all this and because of that I think once those appointments start and any treatment you will get through it

Sometimes the not knowing can be the worse once we know what is wrong exactly somany of us then seem to get on with it with the support of this Community which I hope you will come and use when you need to or just to vent if you need to

I look forward to hearing how you are getting on x

[LakelandLassie in reply to Hidden]

Sorry, should have said 2nd husband, not the current one.. Yes, and will do! ❤️‍🩹xx

[Hidden in reply to LakelandLassie]

Hello

O right we are getting muddled up but think we have got it now so yes then but 2nd Husband on the back boiler , concentrate on you . I am sure deep down he does not hate you and in time you will hopefully be able to talk about it when things have settled down x

[LakelandLassie in reply to Hidden]

Hope and pray so xx

[Hidden in reply to LakelandLassie]

Hello

Take things a day at a time and look after you I think you deserve it x

[LakelandLassie in reply to Hidden]

Everyone keeps saying this, but I’m not used to it. But I could try! 💁🏻‍♀️

[Hidden in reply to LakelandLassie]

Hello

I have always had little self worth having severe anxiety most of my life then 3 heart attacks and triple Bypass has just about sent me over the edge to be honest

But when things happen in life it can damage our self worth and what I have started to do even if I feel I don't deserve it is listening to others when they say I do and not doubting them as they would not say it if they did not see something special in you

Try slowly giving it a go it won't happen overnight I still have to convince myself I am worthy as everyone else and some days I fail but keep practicing it will improve

So you do deserve it and much more x

[Sooz34]

Gosh you've had acrough time LakelandLassie. I've also got heart failure and it has taken me a while to get my head around it. I just couldn't believe it. I'm still awaiting a follow up appointment after the angiogram last April !! There is part of me that wants to see the consultant to ask questions etc so I'm not a lot of use to give advice but I'm with you as a fellow heart failure patient if it helps xx

[LakelandLassie in reply to Sooz34]

Aww, thanks Sooz, it’s a lot to think about and adds a significant dimension to my retirement plans.. Hope I don’t have such a long wait! Hugs xx

[Chappychap]

Hello Lakeland Lassie.

I don't have any practical information to offer. But, as one human being to another, I wanted to reach out and wish you some good fortune after all your terrible struggles. If anyone deserves some sunshine in their life then it's surely you my darling.

Good luck!

[LakelandLassie]

Thanks, I never understand why kindness makes a tear fall out of my eyes! Bless you xx

[LadyZ13]

Just adding my enormous sympathy for everything you've been through, Lakeland Lassie. We're all here for you, keep talking, tell us how you're feeling and what you're afraid of. Articulating the burden of everything in your head is half the battle and sometimes writing it down can be a bit of a relief.

You'll also find lots of people on here who have had diagnoses that have shocked and upset them, and then gone on to improve or even thrive - take a little hope from that and try not to worry too much (easier said than done, I know!) until you've seen a specialist and have a plan. Thinking of you xx

[LakelandLassie in reply to LadyZ13]

Aww, thanks, everyone is being so kind. Bless you xx

[Yumz199725]

Aww so sorry to hear what you have been through 😔💔. I honestly don't know what I can say accept I wish you all the best for the future. Take care ❤️

[LakelandLassie in reply to Yumz199725]

Thanks for saying something, let’s me that there are people who care, and we all need that! Xx

[Silvertail]

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. Yes, it could very well be the aftermath of takotsubo cardiomyopathy. I was told it was heart failure when I had my first. That said, with takotsubo, your heart usually goes back to its normal pumping shape in a few days. However it can leave symptoms and abnormalities for months or even longer. It's important to get lots of rest. I can understand how, with your worries and cares it is continually taking its toll. Medications can make you feel dreadful until your body gets used to them, but they are necessary for improvement. Sending hugs your way. xx

[Jackabee]

bless you. Please look after yourself x

[francesw47]

I have nothing to add other than to say I just wanted to let you know I too am thinking of you. You have such a sad story with so many losses, and yet you carry on giving to others. If you have a trusted GP why not have a chat with them......or talk to one of the BHF nurses who are kind, patient and will answer as many questions as you ask. Try not to Google HF - you will scare yourself and much of the information is out of date and some frankly wrong. Far better to think about what questions you want to ask then write them down in a list and talk to someone who is medically qualified. Personally I'd start with the BHF nurses - they are easily accessible, should speak to you pretty quickly and have more time than overstretched GP's. Now you have found us, please stay in touch and let us know how you get on.

[LakelandLassie in reply to francesw47]

Yes, I am a former nurse, and gave extensively researched Takotsubo, which wasn’t thought to have long term effects, but it seems it does, HF in particular. But beyond reading about the different types, it makes sense to wait for a definitive diagnosis.. Thanks, and take care yourself! 💁🏻‍♀️

[Danceawaytheblues in reply to LakelandLassie]

As someone who has had 2 episodes of Takotsubo I was also interested in this. I was unsure if there were any long term effects as well. I guess it`s a wait and see what happens game. Take care and lots of 💖💖💖 to you.

[LakelandLassie in reply to Danceawaytheblues]

Bless you, you too! Takotsubo.net have info about it and a Facebook group.

Many thanks 💁🏻‍♀️

[Blackknight57]

im so sorry for your lose. Dispite others comments your cardiac condition can be brought on by extreme stress of over exertion. This includes heart break and abuse.

Has doctor given you any drugs. Blood thinner etc.

[LakelandLassie in reply to Blackknight57]

Yes, and you’re right, sadly. 💁🏻‍♀️

[Anon2023]

hi. You have been through so much but you are a survivor. You are stronger and braver than you imagine. I truly hope things improve for you soon. Sending big hugs. Xx

[Auiron]

Your situation is somewhat similar to my own though being in a wheelchair 11 years ago was a result of an accident that I recovered from a few years later. My wife went into care at about that time and called me weak for not doing enough to keep her at home as her health gradually deteriorated. She came round to see it was right when she said a year later, "I don't think I could go back to doing what I was doing before". Though my decision has preyed on my mind all this time - she died 7 years ago.

Cardiac failure is very serious but not a death sentence these days. My mother had heart problems at age 71 but survived to age 97. She was dedicated to following every instruction given to her and somehow even though it sounds stupid it was one of her pastimes.

Copied - 'It is possible to lead a normal life, even if you have Heart Failure. Understanding and taking control of Heart Failure is the key to success. Your doctor and healthcare providers will provide guidelines and a treatment plan. It is your responsibility to follow the treatment plan and manage your Heart Failure.'

Otherwise just keep plodding on even if you may feel at times it is not worth it, 'plodability'. You will have good days here and there that make it very worthwhile. Maybe just feeding the wild birds during winter. Though there are four children in your life so look at them and perhaps learn from children how to go on despite everything that has happened - good luck I hope life improves for you and it will if you let it.

[LakelandLassie in reply to Auiron]

Thanks, and so sorry to hear of your experiences. I have refused to feel guilty about my husband, and now I have this condition, it’s adds further justification to the fact that it was absolutely the right thing to do.

Bless you 💁🏻‍♀️

[Handel in reply to LakelandLassie]

Stay strong and just know we are all thinking about you. Lots of love. Jan xxxx

[LakelandLassie in reply to Handel]

Bless you, thanks! H xx

[Letsallhope1]

I’m 49 and I’m a heart failure patient too.

I won’t even start talking about what a terrible experience you have gone through with your daughters death, I’m a mother myself and cannot conceive the idea of loosing her.

My message is one of hope: I know it must be overwhelming as you only have recently diagnosed but please believe me when I say that once you will be on the right meds you will feel better and nowadays being on the right meds means that the heart failure process will be delayed enormously.

Try to help yourself by staying fit as much as you can, right diet, try to exercise every day but without being too strenuous! I really wish you all the best! ❤️

[LakelandLassie in reply to Letsallhope1]

Thank you! I’m not the type to worry, unduly, and am just learning as much as possible, and taking special care of myself. Bless you ❤️‍🩹

[wischo]

Diagnosed with mild DCM (basically mild heart failure) in 2012 and still walking my 4 or 5 miles daily. Chances are you will be fine once the professionals put together a proper plan for your condition. Best of luck on your recovery.

[momander]

Hi LakelandLassie,

I am so so sorry to hear of everything you have been through. Ehst a truly awful time you have had. This is now your time!! Please take every single offer of help wherever it comes from. You need to focus on you now. I wish you everything you wish yourself. Please take care. I'm sending all my good wishes to you. Xxx

[Pjaze]

Firstly I can't imagine how hard this must have been for you. You are an earth angel looking after your grandchildren. I think and hope that you have moved on from your husband's abusive behaviour and that you have found your safe place at home . He may in the future realise how he has behaved towards you but now you need to keep on finding out more about yourself and heart condition.You will undergo more tests but keeping your heart fit and healthy as you can will help.

I send you so much love and healing thoughts (I do Reiki) and hope that you realise that this group is so supportive. 🙏❤️❤️

[LakelandLassie]

I have been very warmly welcomed and appreciate everyone’s warm wishes. Bless you! 💁🏻‍♀️