this is a subject I don’t like to talk about, I don’t know if I’m depressed our really really fed up, because the way the weather had been all this week Deb had not been able to walk out, we had planned that we would both walk out this past week for me to start a walking program other than walking from room to room in doors, there is talking therapies at the local hospital I can contact, don’t know how long it takes for them to make contact, but hopefully as soon as I can get outside hopefully I will be a lot better in myself, having a major operation at this time of year don’t help seeing as we have had snow for the past week, I have never been a lover of this time of year with the cold and the dark nights,
Hope the rehab people will contact me soon
Kind regards
Pat
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E16Pat
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Hi E16Pat
It’s normal to feel down after such a procedure. It’s not easy. Also your mind and thoughts jump to the future and your body says, hold on! Not ready yet.
This plays out in feeling frustrated, down, cross, depressed and low. Please believe this is a process we have all been through. Recovery ❤️🩹 is hard.
I had my AVR OHS in January 2021 in full lockdown. I couldn’t see anyone expect for my husband who I nearly drove crazy bless him. I saw my two sons through the window. Feeling very alone but not alone , just separated from everyone was cruel.
Cardiac rehab was a video by BHF (thank you) on their website. I also used Strava to walk around the house. My house is small but I still managed to make weird patterns! Got me motivated. There’s a lot you can do in the house. Use the stairs and chair as an exercise feature. It stopped my from going bats*#”t crazy!
Middle of Winter brings all the weather it can throw at us. It keeps stopping us from doing things. I’m now recovered and feeling well. I miss going walking as the ice here has been bad and now it’s pouring. Just a thought, do you take VitD? Our daylight hours are short and being housebound doesn’t help. I take it all year round now and my GP confirmed that it’s a good idea. Boots do cheap ones.
Take care and keep your spirits up. Remember it’s best to be cosy inside enjoying Xmas 🎄 recovering from a heart op than it is in a heatwave 🥵 . That must be so uncomfortable. Keep looking for the positives.
Maisie X
Hello Pat
Did you suffer with depression before the op or is this something you have found since the op you feel this way ?
There is a thin line between depression and been low and fed up
Depression usually makes you feel like you cannot be bothered with anything , getting out of bed , getting dressed , nothing makes you feel happy anymore you just want to trap yourself in and let the world disappear
I am not sure that fits how you feel but more that like you said this weather and dark nights and not been able to get out is getting you down and making you feel low
Having said that when we have this op it can be quite common for a while that some feel and get depressed as it has been a big life changing event we have been through
I would certainly get myself forwarded onto that talking therapy waiting list tomorrow because if you are low or depressed it really does help and I think it will really benefit you and you have nothing to lose so I would give it a go
Do you have any indoor hobbies Pat or is there any that you can think of you might want to give a go , keeping ourselves occupied is the best thing we can try and do to try and distract our minds and the way we are feeling
Things will improve and I can tell how you are struggling but know this is not forever , time goes to quick and before you know it we will have got through the winter and maybe moaning if we have another heat wave like we did this year
Just a last minute thought but when they give you the all clear you could go to Rehab , join a swimming class maybe , indoor bowling there are lots of indoor activities when you are stronger that can get you out and about
You could start doing some research what you have in your area while you are recovering or maybe take Debs to the theatre , a meal give you both a treat x
Hello Pat, just to say I’m feeling similar emotions to you, and the weather and dark days have same effect on me. So struggling to beat anxiety and depression but I think the advice given is great. It’s a battle to try to distract yourself from your worries but I think it works to do anything, safely, which can focus your mind on good things. Would it help to make a list of all the things you like and which are still in reach at moment? This is one of my favourite websites at moment
Hello E16Pat, I hope when you read this post you are feeling a little better. From your posts I think you are 5 weeks post surgery. It is very natural to feel the way you do at the moment. It is very early days in your recovery. BeKind has given some great advice which I totally agree with. Added to your early days you have the awful miserable weather to contend with, I am sure some sunshine makes so much difference. I would definitely chase up rehab if they haven’t been in touch by now, for me it has been incredibly helpful and confidence building. Please ensure you eat well, do your exercise, get plenty of rest, take your meds and most of all be kind to yourself. Remember it’s still early days you have been through a huge life changing experience. Things will improve and it will take time, reach out to all the hearties on this forum we are all here for each other. I hope you have a nice and peaceful Christmas, and I know I have said it already but be kind to yourself and look forward to brighter days ahead. Take care, Judi
Sorry you're feeling so low. Depression varies from person to person, although there can be common symptoms. If you feel you may have it I would suggest you get referred to the talking therapy programme, in my area the waiting list is quite long but after an initial phone assessment they will send you information on books you can read while waiting. If you go on to feel better as your physical health improves you can always cancel.
Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat Pat! This is STILL extremely early days. you have formed this impression that you should be able to do far more at this stage than is realistic. It is very normal for things to progress much more slowly than you hoped. This IS a depressing time of year and not helped by being trapped in the house by the weather
Hopefully with the milder weather you can spread your wings a bit and extend your walking, visit a garden centre or shopping centre and try to lift the gloom.
I don't know the levels of lighting in your home but SAD is a well known syndrome. I used to counter it by going to Austria at this time of year for better light levels and snow. You can get lamps that increase daylight levels. Do try to start getting out and don't think that you are doing badly-you are proceeding along a long slow and winding road
Pat, I just wanted to add that since posting to you I have just opened the curtains and at 7.45am it is still pitch black and raining hard. I feel low. Not depression, just the time of the year but it is very nearly the shortest day so come Christmas it will start to get lighter in the mornings. Its why our ancestors had their bacchanalian revels at this time of year although I don't think I'm up to that even 30 weeks post bypass!
E16Pat It's tough but you can see from the responses here that we've almost all of us struggled with the "bete noir" from time to time. In my case it was not helped by the typical cocktail of heart meds which sapped my energy. I will say that talk therapy helped tremendously -- there was no way I was going to unload on my wife given all that she's been through with my physical issues. I still get dark moments (at night! go figure...) but I've also learned to laugh a bit at my condition.
have you tried daylight bulbs? I know that not having enough daylight can make you SAD. Hate going into the darkness. Not far to go now until the shortest day and then days will start to become longer again. Talking to someone can help, I know it sounds silly by lifting the corners of the mouth is supposed to help so put a pencil horizontally between your teeth and it is supposed to give you all sorts of endorphins etc. If nothing else it might make you smile at yourself for looking so ridiculous. Anything to make you concentrate to take your mind off your troubles for a bit. Crosswords, jigsaws, lovely music, Yes Minister on the box, Hope you feel better soon.
Hi Pat, retired counsellor / psychotherapist here who had a special interest in people in chronic pain and long term health conditions. As others have said, it is very early days post procedure for you. Having low mood is totally normal, your body has undergone a trauma, your understanding of who you are has taken a knocking and added to this, you may well still be experiencing the after effects of the anaesthetic (it can last 6 weeks + in the body). Many people also experience depression (or at least low mood) in the winter months due to lack of sunlight and as recommended by someone else here, a broad spectrum lamp may be helpful if that’s within your means. Sign up for the NHS talking therapy sessions now, I have no doubt there is a long waiting list. If when you are called you feel you no longer need that support, you can always withdraw. Christmas can bring its own stresses, as a practitioner this was always my busiest time of year. Above all, be kind to yourself.
Surround yourself with things and people that bring joy and make you feel good, be ‘unavailable’ to those people who bring you down. You are on a journey, there will be bumps in the road and maybe some deviations, but you will get there.
I will be contacting talking therapies, there is one at my local hospital, I think I’m expecting to much from my body, it’s 5 weeks this coming Wednesday since my operation I’m still extremely tiered and beating myself up at the fact that I can’t get out of bed until 9 in the mornings that is not me,
Hi E16PatI see you have good comments from several people already. I thought I would just add that there is research showing that 20 mins of actual daylight (i.e. outside, not through a window) in the morning, can help to lift mood and also aid sleep. It triggers the release of hormones, even on a cloudy dull day. In this weather that can be hard to achieve, especially after what you've been through and when you need to take care of your body. You sound like you normally like to be outdoors, so being housebound may well be affecting you. I wonder if a few minutes sat on your back doorstep with your coat and scarf on, may be an option? That said I don't manage to do this myself in this weather!! Take Care and I hope things improve for you soon.
I was lucky with the level of Cardiac Rehab support, but they were as concerned about my state of mind as my body. For the 6 weeks between my first and second stents, they phoned me each week, because we were still in the restrictions. They went through a questionnaire on how I was feeling in the first call and before they discharged me to the local class to see if I'd changed.
My op was in Summer, which had its own drawbacks, but it's quite normal to feel a bit down at this time of year, even if you're healthy. Even before I had my HA, I wanted to self-identify as a tortoise so I could hibernate for the winter.
Being a bit OCD, I use routine to keep me going. Although I try to get a good night's sleep, I get up because I take pills with breakfast. Walking to the cafe at lunchtime ensures I get some exercise and a break from home and Cardia Rehab classes provide exercise and some social activity as we usually have coffee in the gym cafe afterwards.
As others have said, Winter doesn't last for ever and the most positive view is that you're probably missing out on less because you wouldn't be out as much. By Spring and Summer you should hopefully be over the worst of the health problems and able the enjoy the longer days and better weather.
I know when I have had tough days with my autoimmune before the heart issues I would call the NRAS helpline. Have you thought about calling the BHF for a chat to talk some of your concerns out. Sometimes Just doing this gets you understanding if just sad or maybe needing more help.
And you can call today too so you feel doing something pro active 😘
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