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Parkinsons/ Jeremy Paxman/ Heart Failure

Prada47 profile image
24 Replies

After watching the documentary on Parkinsons featuring Jeremy a lot of what he said seems to me to also relate to Heart Failure. You take your Meds knowing they will not cure you just that they slow the process of decline. Albeit with some moderate improvements maybe !!

What really struck me was the discussion on donating the Brain to Research and how the Professor said it may help with finding solutions in the future.

Now my question is has anyone posting on here offered their Heart to Research and how did they go about it. Just thinking it through when I die if it's not in a Hospital or Hospice etc How would it be done can't see the Undertaker doing it, so would have to be a Morgue.

I have asked my Heart Nurse and she is looking into it for me and will let me know the outcome next week, but I would be interested to hear from anyone who has already looked into this.

Regards

ps Don't expect to go soon just preparing for the day lol

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Prada47 profile image
Prada47
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24 Replies

Dear Prada47

Very interesting and yes I have asked if my body { any part of it } was of interest to the medical profession but it seems that because I have had cancer then they are not interested in it.

Anyone reading have any other news regarding this then I would be happy to listen as I have already paid for my body just to be collected and cremated without fuss or ceremony .

My beliefs are basic and simple, the moment I am clinically dead then I am no longer here and have begun my greatest journey, sorry I will not be looking down on anyone as this time will be for me and my maker.

You can do as you wish with the shell of me and had always hope that it would be a help to someone.

As for my brain, well I never used it to its full extent and would be quite happy for it to be sat in a jar looking out at future doctors/surgeons or the basic curious.

Morbid? far from it and like Prada47 I am not thinking of going soon, but when I do, burn a candle and open the window.........just in case x

080311 profile image
080311 in reply to

I read your post with great interest. Both John and I choose the same route as you regarding what happens after death. There was no need to decide what do we do it was all ready in place. The treatment myself and my sons received from the undertaker was wonderful. So when my time comes ( hopefully not too soon) I will be happy in the knowledge that everything is in place, my sons will have everything organised for them.

I don’t think many of us have the conversation what happens after death.

Best wishes Pauline

in reply to080311

Pauline I totally agree with your decision along with John to take this simple path and I am glad like mine that your family agrees.

During my life I have attended countless funerals of friends/ family and clients that had no baring on the loved one that I had lost, it got to the point that I refused to go to another unless I could be a comfort to others that remained.

Some of those loved ones were not able to grieve until many days after because of all the preparation etc, very similar to some weddings that I have been to where the bride and groom had to look back on photos to remember their day because of all the arrangements.

I came into this world quite and will gladly leave it the same way, believe me I have made plenty of noise in-between { and more to make } those dates.

Take care

Kevin

080311 profile image
080311 in reply to

Afternoon Kevin,

Both of us like you wanted to make it as easy for our sons as we could. Having done the no fuss route with John and the more traditional route with parents I am more than happy to go with the no fuss route. We were able to say our goodbyes the way John wanted sailing off on his last voyage.

I think talking about these things is a bit of a taboo but it does need a discussion.

Best wishes Pauline

Lilypocket profile image
Lilypocket in reply to080311

Both my father and husband were cremated. We scattered Dad's ashes at the top of his favourite welsh mountain that we used walk up every Sunday before lunch when I was a child.

My husband loved the sea so I hired the local lifeboat where we spent our holidays and had a small ceremony with his family and myself and our children out to sea. I kept some of his ashes so he could always be with me at home.

As for myself...well I will let the children decide but I feel a welsh mountain might be involved 🙂

Take care.

Ageingfast profile image
Ageingfast

I suggest that removal of your body parts is done in hospital.

So don’t be phased, go for it.

Paxman was in Cromwell hospital, costs a small fortune. But wasn’t the physio nurse wonderful ? Just what I enjoyed post AVR. The attitude, the uniform, the mask all good. I have fond memories of my life saving op. dUring the pandemic, when all cardio hospitals closed.

Sooty

10gingercats profile image
10gingercats

Yes.A friend gave her heart and all the rest of her to the hospital where she had been treated for heart problems. She needed a quadruple heart bypass and rejected it as she was scared of dying on the table She died a couple of years after the diagnosis .Did not tell her daughters about her decisions though who got a bit of a shock.

RufusScamp profile image
RufusScamp

What a lovely idea. A sort of walking wake.

Threecats profile image
Threecats

The walking stick arrangement sounds like a brilliant idea! I completely agree with the simple approach with regards to funerals and both Mum and I are taking that route when the time comes. As you say, we’ve attended too many funerals that have borne no relation to the deceased at all! I certainly think it’s time to remove the taboo that still exists around discussing death and instead, embrace it as the inevitable and necessary part of life that it is.

Becksagogo profile image
Becksagogo

My daughter was very upset when i tried to talk funerals to her but it is very important to me. My parents spent a lot of money on a double plot at the local crematorium. Nobody visits the plot as some of us have mobility issues and the grandchildren live too far away.

I just want a no fuss cremation and have chosen 3 songs which mean something to me.

Janma123 profile image
Janma123

Hello Pravda, my dad has donated his body to the local university medical school when he eventually goes. We contacted the university and filled in a consent form, copies of which are with his medical records, his will, and with his carers notes. We have a phone number to call when the time comes as the university have special arrangements for collecting and preserving the body.

TeresaMay profile image
TeresaMay

Whatever you are thinking of, please make it a serious thought. My mother always said, I hope in a joke, that I could do what I liked with her, even putting her in the dustbin. When she died, I arranged cremation, which she and I are in favour of. Then I could have put her ashes in the dustbin. I didn't: I arranged for them to be scattered in a Garden of Remembrance, but it did cause me concern. Should I have put her in the dustbin? That sort of worry at a time of grief was distressing

Wooodsie profile image
Wooodsie

When my mum died, her wish was to have her ashes made into 4 egg timers 1 for each child, sadly that couldn't be achieved, we had small candle holders made instead.

My sister donated her body to medical science, she had to die in hospital for them to harvest the body and the hospital was informed. Sadly when she died, the hospital, which shall remain nameless, failed to adhere to the strict requirements, and consequently her body was not accepted. Donating ones body to science is not an easy route and they do not accept every body, they have more requests than they need.

Me, my instructions are to do it as cheaply as possible. I hate the profiteering and commercialism of the death industry, put me in an old cardbord box from ASDA, put me in the boot of my car (I have an estate), drive me to the nearest crematorium and job done. No stone, no ceremony, don't collect the ashes.

I've been thinking of becoming a humourist, much better than a humanist, you've got to laugh 😂😂😂.

Pollypuss profile image
Pollypuss

I think I will give all of me to medical research. Perhaps I will end up as one of those skeletons used for medical students. But I think it is a great idea to contribute some part of the body. I watched my sister die of Parkinson’s and realised just how much more research is needed into this horrible disease. It doesn’t seem to be highlighted nearly enough. Often we see people on tv in the primary stages but the later stages aren’t shown. So giving your brain to medical science is an excellent idea especially in the elderly even if you haven’t died of Parkinson’s .

in reply toPollypuss

My grandmother was 68 in 1953 when she died from Parkinson's. She had broken her hip some time before, and was confined to a wheelchair. I was only 8 at the time but I can see her now, bless her, dribbling and quivering and totally exhausted with it all. There was little or no treatment then of course anyway, but I though then, and now how cruel we are to keep people alive when they either don't want to be or when there is no cure! Having a beloved pet euthanised is traumatic, but so much better for them and us. My daughter is a vet.....

Pollypuss profile image
Pollypuss in reply to

Thank you for your reply. My son is also a vet and I have had to put so many loved pets to sleep hoping they would die naturally but they did not . Couldn’t watch them in so much pain. My poor sister suffered so much in the end. All this was during the pandemic and the shock of seeing her after being able to was horrendous. Yes I think I would want to be kindly put to sleep if I had it.

JeremiahObadiah profile image
JeremiahObadiah

My father died at 95 last summer. He died at home having been discharged by the hospital.

He had donated his body to The London School of Anatomy. My mother had the number with her for about the last 5 years. She called them, his body was taken to a local undertakers until it could be collected by the University.

This spring there was a lovely service at a cathedral in London for all those who had donated their bodies in the last year. It did have a religious overtone which felt a bit wrong as there were many different cultures there. However, the academic staff from various medical schools spoke about the gift of giving one’s body with warmth, gratitude and respect. It is a final act of giving to others.

We didn’t have any other funeral, my mother decided she didn’t need anything more. Had my father been younger he would have many friends and colleagues who might have wanted to attend but he had outlived most and as a family we didn’t feel an expensive and distressing service was required.

The university notified when his remains were being cremated but we didn’t feel any need to attend having felt our celebration of his life was that service in the cathedral.

One does need to have signed the right forms and know exactly what to do at the time of death so the body can be taken to the right place in the right way.

Another friend’s father asked for a direct cremation. Body taken directly to the crematorium with no service. I had not heard of this option but again a way of not having the heartbreak of the ‘curtain’ and the daft expense of a reception for people who have come for the sandwiches and not the deceased!!

Having watched the Queen’s funeral with some amazement at the expense and pomp, it is certainly worth thinking of one’s own end and using your body beyond life to help other generations to learn and live well.

MountainGoat52 profile image
MountainGoat52

Yesterday I attended a funeral held in a church. The service was taken by a minister that knew the dedeased well with a very appropriate address by one of her best friends and reminiscences by family remembers. It was completely relevant as the deceased had a strong Christian faith. We used to see her most weeks at church and my wife and I were there to pay our respects to her and her extensive family. I know that her eldest daughter, whom we had met on a couple of occasions, appreciated our attendance.

Now what was different about this funeral was that there was no coffin. The deceased, who had lived to be 91, had given her body to medical research. There was just a photograph and some flowers where the coffin would had been. Even so, we felt we had been able to say our goodbyes, of course in faith hoping we would meet again.

I do wonder whether as a society we now tend to deal with death in the most convenient manner available, letting someone else take charge of proceedings. Certainly I see no relevance of services which have religious input where the deceased has had no faith. I also agree wholeheartedly that a funeral service taken by someone that has never known the deceased is inappropriate. I myself took the funeral of my wife's uncle and I know that the family appreciated me doing that and I have already been asked to do the same for other family members.

Yesterday proved to me that it is unimportant for the deceased to be actually physically at a service, whatever form that might take. There is a place for family and friends gathering to remember the deceased. People live on in our memories. As they say, you are never truly dead until those that knew you are themselves dead.

Of course this is a sensitive subject and as they say, YMMV.

Gerald

Thanksnhs profile image
Thanksnhs

Hi all when a new heart was found for me I was asked there and then if I would consent to my old one, maybe not that old at 61! , could be used for medical science of course I signed it and that is when they found out that I didn't have, as diagnosed dilated cardiomyopathy,it was arrythmogenic cardiomyopathy, caused by a faulty gene (dsr) which unfortunately I have passed on to my son, at the moment he is fine. I actually thought they would just throw it in the bin! It's not as if I was going to put it on display in my living room, it's amazing to think what they found out from it. I have donated basically anything else they want, if it wasn't for research where would we all be. I have decided not to have a funeral I wrote a letter to my boy's with my wishes, me straight from morgue to crematorium no one to go, all the money saved on cars flowers etc I want my family and a few besties to celebrate my life in a restaurant that I like with a beautiful meal and plenty of champers. I will be so jealous not to be there 😅 char

Qualipop profile image
Qualipop

I think the idea of having bits go to medical science is wonderful but why is it so difficult to find out how to do it? Years ago I had a dog with glaucoma. This was before any worthwhile treatment had been found. The veterinary eye specialist ( top man in the country) asked if, when the time came, he could have her eyes for research. We readily agreed. As a result of his research, he went on to develop the operation to fit drains into eyes to reduce the pressure. That operation was then used on humans and developed further. I like to think that if you now have glaucoma , my dear little dog back in the 80s went some way to helping save your sight.

fishonabike profile image
fishonabike

Donating your body, or parts of it, toa research facility is a wonderful idea - BUT unlike organ donation for transplant there is no central agency managing it

So you have to organise it yourself with a local hospital, medical school or research facility. They each have different protocols and crietrira, so you need to be prepared to hunt around a bit.

But also they might not get the body or body parts if you die in the wrong place, under certain circumstances or if you have not made sure everyone concerned is aware of your arrangement. So it's not simple and you have to do all the paperwork and keep on top of things. Importantly, you should make sure your family are on board, they will be the ones who have to make sure your body is dealt with in the right way after you die, if they don't agree or are not aware all your preparation will be useless. It may mean there is not body for them to bury, it will certainly mean post mortem removal of relevant parts, these issues might be distressing for them so it's important to address them while you are around to make your wishes clear and enlist their support and cooperation

cappachina profile image
cappachina

Hi I read with interest what people would like for their funeral I have been to many funerals some brilliantly good others I felt I might as well not gone to. I am a Methodist we tend nowadays to have a quiet family cremation and then have a service in the church to celebrate the persons life which is uplifting often full of laughter as people tell the story of a persons life with their favourite music This is usually followed in the hall by food and a chance to talk more to the family of the memories you have. That's what I want and I intend to write my wishes down so my family can just hand it all over to the minister taking the service.

I tried to offer my whole body for research, organ donation etc. It appears my medical history precludes it from being used - I think it was the Lymphoma, because they still do not understand enough about it. I wish you luck in your aspirations.

Milkfairy profile image
MilkfairyHeart Star

I have read everyone's replies to this thread with interest.

This thread for me is what makes this forum so special.

On 20th September, I sat with my two elder brothers for the last time.

One was lying in bed, dying. My eldest brother and I spent a couple of hours sitting with him, talking about our childhood, laughing and crying at the joyful memories. Our brother died a few hours later.

My brother decided he didn't want a funeral. At first I wasn't sure what to make of his decision. However reading the many replies on this thread has helped me make peace with his choice.

He was cremated last week and will have his ashes spread later in a special place of his choosing.

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