I left for a few weeks as a few posts were very triggering. It’s 3.5 months since heart attack and I’m really struggling I’m so scared all of the time, every pain, niggle, I’m off sick from work as I just couldn’t do my job and after 12 years managing services for people with Learning disabilities and mental health issues it’s took a lot for me to say that. I hate feeling like this, as I type I have a shoulder pain and My brain goes straight to Heart attack! I’ve suffered with anxiety most of my life so know what this is but I can’t help feeling what if the doctors have missed something, what if it’s happening again. Im sorry to say all this on here and I’m not after sympathy I just needed to get the words out. Im at GP today at 3. I just want to not worry…. Hope everyone on here has been and is doing well 😊
struggling : I left for a few weeks as... - British Heart Fou...
struggling
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Hello
Nice to see you even though not nice to see you suffering as you are which I know only to well
Sometimes posts do trigger us of I agree but I try and skip past them especially if I need support not always easy though admitted
It was Oct 2020 when I had my first heart attack a year ago I had my triple Bypass and I still think exactly the same as you and get the same thoughts and fears no matter how hard I try and reason with myself
I know that does not help you any but hope it helps to know this is normal for some of us and can take a while to get our confidence back but you are not alone
There is no shame needing time of work and I really hope posting has helped as you know sometimes we just need to get it all of our chests as the saying goes
I hope that Doctors appointment helps and that if you have time you will come back on and let is know how you got on x
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Thank you so much for your support Bekind I really appreciate that. The doctor was great and has helped I’m going to look into support groups and see what else I can find too. Hope you are ok xx
Hello
I am pleased your GP was so supportive and I hope you find those groups for support but you know you can always talk with us to
Thank you for asking me how I am to be honest I have been better but muddling through
Let us know how you recovery keeps going if you have the time
I would like to know how you are getting on x
Hi I’ve posted several time how I feel following my bypass a few months ago my head is so screwed up but today I went to see a friend and what I said to him suddenly clicked in my head as well. He fell of a roof 15 weeks ago broke his back, pelvis, leg damaged his neck and big head injury. His mental state is also messed up. All I said to him was you have to think we are both luck really I should be dead and I’m not and he should either be dead, paralysed or have brain damage but he hasn’t, we are both on our road to recovery it’s just going to take time for us physically and mentally. We both agreed even if we are only 75% of the person we were it way better then nothing. I’m seeing a councillor and on some happy meds which I’m trying to convince him to do.Good luck we will all get there.
"We both agreed even if we are only 75% of the person we were it way better then nothing"
Very few of us operate at more than 75% of our capacity anyway. We perhaps need to accept that we can still achieve 75% but it may encompass a different 75% of our abilities than previously.
Jako, I love your attitude. I also have a feeling of 'bonus time'. I had surgery in 2020 to replace my aorta - it was dilated - if it hadn't been caught, I'd have been a goner. I was incredibly lucky that I didn't listen to my loved ones who told me my fatigue & chest pains were anxiety - I got to a cardiologist. I also agree with you - 'seeing a counsellor & on some happy meds' is exactly what I did too! I saw a heart-charity counsellor (remotely, cos Covid) for 18m after surgery - and I'm still on a tiny dose of Lexapro & a beta blocker, cos my anxiety is much reduced and my migraines are nearly gone. SolesOfHerShoes, can you avail of counselling? and would you consider a v low dose of anxiety medication? It won't change your personality (my fear) - it'll just take away the spiralling fear, so that you can think straight & live your life.
When I had my HA last year the demons in my brain were running wild, "what if it happens again" "what if it's more serious than last time" "what if an ambulance doesn't get here in good time".....I had a whole load of "what ifs" scenarios running wild in my head.Then I sat down and thought seriously about it, I'd been seen by a great team of highly trained individuals, my heart had just had a five star no holds barred service and MOT, I'd been put on "the perfect cocktail of medication" according to our GP to protect my heart and reduce the chance of any reoccurrence.....I was in better shape than I'd been for years!!
It's now 14 months since me HA.....for a few months I had lots of twinges, it's to be expected after the trauma you've been through, but importantly for the last 9 months I've felt brilliant.
Someone else mentioned rehab.....jump at the chance, it will really boost your confidence and confirm to you that you can live a normal active life free of "what ifs" and other worries....for me a far better life than before my HA as I'm far healthier and fitter.
Best wishes.
Yes and I loved it thank you 😊
Am the same to have had to anxiety and depression for years thought i had it under control then had heart attack found to be genetic, feel like giving up at the moment cardio nurse signed me off said she was going away for a long time so no nurse. Mum who is 92 not well having to go in to respite can,t get over so my brother and his wife are looking after her other 3 brothers no help at all feel so guilty phone ever day but still feel down. Sorry to sound so miserable.
Hope things went well with your doctor.
One thing to possibly check is what work benefits you are entitled to. Through my work I have been offered 6 counciling sessions. I am term to take them waiting for when I feel I need them as it's not many.
A talking therapy might really help discuss and come up with solutions to help manage.
Hi. Looking back 3 1/2 months is no time at all in the scheme of things. I was recovering was severe depression and anxiety before my HA and was learning to live with it. My HA last year at 42 gave me a whole new perspective and taught me to do things a day at a time. There are no right or wrong answers with this but time is a good healer and you sound like you have great support. My employer was great and I had 5 months off work to mend physically and mentally. You sound like you are still trying to come to terms with it all which is natural. I’m a year on and still think about it a lot of the time. It will get better. Good luck. Chris.
I am at the same stage as you some 3 and half months after my quadruple bypass. The first 4/5 weeks were dreadful. Then I realised I was getting 10% better with each passing week and was shattering the earlier milestones. I started driving again at 7 weeks and could not have contemplated that 2 weeks earlier.
I suspect that the rate of improvement is now much less and sometimes you have a relapse and a bad day or two. But even on a bad day I am doing way more that 4/6 weeks ago.
I have set some new goals based on continual if sporadic improvement but based on 10% improvement over several weeks not just one
I'm sorry you having stress issues, believe me, it comes and goes. Changes are never easy, especially a massive life change of having heart issues. It's just not fair that some don't spring back. I hate the new normal. With support from gp and family it is manageable. Make sure you find something that makes you happy, even if it's in your mind. One day at a time, one step at a time! Take care. Moni
A saying from the area of Chinese medicine is: "One disease, long life; no disease, short life." In other words, those who know what's with them and take care wrong of themselves accordingly will tend to live a lot longer than those who consider themselves perfectly healthy and neglect their weaknesses. So, in that sense at least, a Weakness of some sort can do you a big favor, if you acknowledge that it's there.
^ I can’t take credit for that quote as I got it from a book, my Dad quoted it to me after my husband had a heart attack earlier this year.
Like Chriswood79 , what helps my anxiety about my husbands health is taking every day one at a time. Focus on how you are feeling today and what’s probable rather than what’s possible. Yes your back twinge could possibly be a heart attack but it’s most probably not given you are on all the medications to reduce your risk.
You will have good days and bad days, it’s a very traumatic thing to go through but just focus on the fact that you are still here and your body is recovering. 3.5 months is not that long ago, give yourself time to adjust and be patient with and kind to yourself. Counselling would be great, have you been offered any by the hospital? My husband has been signposted to clinical psychology by the rehab team, there may be something similar at your local hospital.
I hope you start to feel better soon.
Morning, hope you're feeling a bit better today? I too have anxiety (only just realised!!!) looking into some mental health solutions and just joined a gym (referred to, and actually helped straight away!!) Its a year on now and physically im not bad, the mental side has been brewing since November.....We are all different and the mental side is can be difficult to deal with...it can be done though and we will get there!
thanks for the reply....ive been trying to do what i did before...i was quite active...an update from the last post... i was doing ok mentally but just had a call with my GP...I had CT abdo scan earlier in the week to see if there was anything going on there to do with my symptoms........I might have a clot in my heart and now need an urgent echo...great!!! One step forward, two back
Agree definitely. And trying to have a daily structure, no matter how menial or small it is, helps provide some focus 😁
Just came to me, like a rush. The base problem is, these wizard surgeons and their super teams treat the body and not the mind and as we are beginning to realise, is probably as important. Why has no one understood this before?
My bypass was four years ago and whenever I get a twinge (as I live my life as normally as I possibly can) or palpitation or ache (especially when I get up too quickly) I wonder whether this is it. Will it hurt? My poor wife! Will I be able to see anything as I pass? I know it is so morbid, so unreal to think like that when someone who has delved into the depths of my body says I am fit again! We are all told that heart attacks are fatal and know many stories of this being true, but the truth is we survived and it's so magical a miracle, a mistake perhaps.
I was spared death by the skill of the surgical team and although I find it hard to believe it, I am greedy but doubts prevail. Am I weird? No, I am just human and it is human to feel the way we do - the only lesson we must learn is to ENJOY, TRUST and LIVE and be very thankful. we are on pills, have a wonderful backup system, and if things might go wrong, and it is not our fault, then that is fate.
As previously said, keep fit, do not put on weight, keep a good diet, stay fit, and do as you have been told and know you have to do to have a happy life and for goodness sake try to be rational. No doubt my words will offend some folk here however my words come from my experiences and my beliefs, that are working for me. After all, I am 72 and there are many things in this life that could kill me, so just live and be happy and make others around you happy for they too have been through their own dark days dealing with ours, so they deserve some time off too.
xxx
I'm so sorry you're feeling like this Solesofhershoes, it must be truly awful for you and you have my deepest sympathy. It's only natural to be worried but you're doing everything right and I've no doubt that in time you'll recover and be in a much better place with anxiety. Everyone here is thinking about you and wishing you nothing but the best but we all know how hard it must be for anyone feeling like this. I'll tell you my wee story and it might help a tiny bit.
I know we're all different and recovery times and feelings are all different too but, to be honest, I now feel like one of the lucky ones. It was six months yesterday since the day of my triple bypass operation. I'd a heart attack at the beginning of January this year and had to stay in hospital before having my op on the 18th February and home just five days afterwards. I've now been back at work for just over a month (part-time phased return) and starting to enjoy this new lease of life. My thoughts now are that I've had a full MOT and been instructed in how to look after my engine a bit better and I've already started to see the benefits.
I think my major moment of realisation came after meeting my three cousins for lunch two months ago. We call ourselves the 'orphans club' as our Mums were sisters and have all sadly passed away. We started our monthly lunches last year to support one of the cousins whose Mum had just died but we hadn't met since December, due to my heart attack. It's our little monthly treat, we don't mind spending a little extra and we really enjoy the time talking about, and remembering, 'the good old days' when we were children. I'm the eldest at 62 and there's only a year between us all. We all live in different areas on the same train line so we hop on the same train at our various stops, meet up on the train and travel to Belfast for lunch in a posh restaurant. We then retire for a cocktail or two (boring old water or tea for me though!) to the Piano Bar in a swanky sedate old hotel near the train station before making our way home.
However, the piano bar's on the third floor up a rather grand big marble spiral staircase (there is a lift, but we always take the stairs). On the way up the stairs I made a joke along the lines of "oh yeah, bring me here to trot up three flights of stairs after a heart attack" and noticed I was talking to myself (not unusual though!). Reached the top, looked back and there were the other three huffing & puffing up the stairs behind me. For the first time since the op I suddenly realised I didn't feel out of breath, my heart certainly wasn't beating fast and I hadn't noticed any exertion whatsoever - what a difference to how I felt last December when we were last there before my op! I didn't say anything to the others and just kept the little special 'moment' to myself but I genuinely felt like doing a little happy dance (but the other clientele might have had me removed)! The amazing, wonderful cardiac team didn't do this horrible op TO me, they did it FOR me.
Anyhow - that 'moment' really changed my outlook - I admit I was already optimistic but my feeling of happy dance was the icing on the cake. Anytime I might feel a bit 'down', which I still do occasionally (although the times are becoming less as I go on) when I get an odd peculiar twinge, ache or pain - I remember that 'moment' and it immediately reminds me of how good it felt.
I really hope you have your 'moment' soon too. Take care and continue looking after yourself - you'll get there. Carol xox
Hi I really feel for you I'm the same and I only had a stent fitted no heart attack I do get angina attacks I'm off work I feel every niggle and pain also and think its really serious anxiety through the roof I am just trying to take it day by day I find having a bit of counselling helps and I have joined the leisure centre to do swimming which really helps. Big hugs ❤❤
I find that routine is very good.....have a daily to do list...simple stuff...weed the pots in the garden,clean the latest bird droppings off the car....tidy a bookcase....check when insurances are due and look up some prices.Once in bed I think about the day and try to think of little wins that have happened..and what to do the next day. Helps me!
HA end 2019 and triple CABG May 21. I tell myself that the HA could have killed me but it didn't. I might not have come through the surgery but I did. I get the pains, the aches, and the 'what the bloody hell's that' feelings at times. I've said it here before, but I know I'm going to be dead for a long time. I'm damned if I'm going to ruin what time I have left, be it long or short, obsessing about the negatives and the maybes. I'm here now and I'm going to make the most of it. Good luck!
Really sorry to hear about your heart issues at only 44yrs. You say you have always suffered from anxiety and I see a few posts here mentioning anxiety meds as happy pills. This is very derogatory and very old fashioned to people that suffer from mental health issues. Ask your GP for some medication to alleviate your anxiety and depressive moods and yes get plenty of exercise when you feel up to it. Meds for mental health issues are every bit as important as your heart meds and as anxiety is very bad for heart health anyway get it sorted soonest. I suffered from anxiety most of my life and the meds have allowed me to live a perfectly normal life. All my best wishes to you.
Anxiety is very bad for any cardiac condition and I did not advocate dishing them out like smarties. You are clearly being very silly in thinking that exercise alone can relieve long term anxiety. Your views are self opiniated and very old fashioned. You have clearly been spared the burden of anxiety then.
Hi Solesofhetshoes, long waffle warning!!!
do what you feel is right and works for you. Look around, see what’s out there, look at what others do but only take it on board if it feels right. You will find something that will help. But don’t feel if you do/don’t do something that works for others you’re wrong. Your not wrong we’re all individual’s with different life experiences. After exercising at least 4 times a week using a personal trainer for years being healthy I had my heart attack. I was told it was only because I was so fit I was still alive.
Since then I’ve built my exercise back up. I’ll never get to my pre heart attack level but I’m fit. BUT anxiety came and jumped me months after my heart attack, I’m having counselling which I’d recommend and it’s helping. After my session I walk to my car along a canal which is very peaceful and pleasant. Here’s the bigger BUT because of arrhythmia’s due to permanent muscle damage from my heart attack the electrophysiologist has recommended I go on anti anxiety medication. He says eventhough I have an organic cause of the arrhythmia’s anxiety can aggravate them and reducing anxiety can help me avoid more potent antiarthmic medications.
I was upset and disappointed with this advice as I’d been working hard to avoid medication. And I do have a choice.
I posted about this on here. Bekind gives good advice and When my gp receives the letter from the electrophysiologist- I’m now going to say it out loud- I will be going on anti anxiety medication. There I’ve said it!!!
It feels for me the right thing to do at this point in my life. And I won’t be ashamed about doing what is right for individual me
If you’re still reading. Listen to what you feel. Your a wonderful person and your body will tell you.
Hi Ewloe, there appears to still be people who frown on other people because they are prescribed anti anxiety medication. The real problem lies with people that abuse these medications and not medically prescribed patients. My cardiologist is the top man in one of Dublins private cardiac hospitals and as I occasionaly get SVTs he told me to take a Valium if I get an episode. It has worked wonders for me and is advise from one of the countries top cardiologists. Anxiety as we all know is really one of the worst thing for heart conditions.
I walk 5 to 7 miles every day, do upper body strenght training everyday and I am not talking about anxiety after an event specifically? I am talking about lifetime anxiety which I have. I have attended counselling numerous times as I said exercise every day and still need medication to keep it at bay. Your remarks like keep on popping the pills are very offensive to me and the millions of people like me. I really thought the snap out of it brigade were well and truly gone and educated but listening to your attitude a few are still alive and kicking. You keep popping your pills for your CHD now and try not to comment on things you clearly know nothing about.
Of course I do take my meds and do not consider them worthless like you are clearly opposed to any meds for anxiety and depression. I am dismayed that you can not acknowlege that anxiety is one of the worst things for heart disease as verified by every cardiologist and GP but as you are one of the snap out of it brigade and go for a run or walk type of person I wish you well with your health and have no desire to carry on any discussions with you again. If you read her post she has suffered from anxiety all her life and not just event related. Good day sir.