my wife who passed away in oct married 49 years was told she needed a quadruple bypass in june they made her wait until march thats 8 months i think that was not good for her heart or lungs 5 years later she passed away she went downhill after she had the operation mayo clinic says 6-8 weeks max for second bypass which was her . i think if they had done it sooner she would still be alive today if the heart doesnt get the blood it needs the lungs dont get the blood they need.
bypass gone wrong: my wife who passed... - British Heart Fou...
bypass gone wrong
Written by
nipperet
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28 Replies
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Dear nipperet
My deepest condolences over the loss of your beloved wife, I hope that you find peace over her death very soon.
Please take care
Sad story.... Take care and sorry to hear that. Sounds like you are quite angry with the delays and you have every right to be. Going forward I think you need to find peace. 49 years is a long, long time so I can only imagine the hurt you are feeling . Best wishes...
thank you its been 8 month somehow the pain is still there for 50 years i had someone i loved to talk to now no one
It makes me feel sad , thinking if anything ever happened to my wife. Deepest sympathies. HUGS
my wife promised me i could die first i wanted to didnt want to go through what i am now i am so lonely the pain of missing her it hurts so bad its my fault i loved her so much
Hello 
I am so sorry for your loss but she will always be with you in your heart and memories
It is very hard when you have been with someone so long and then they are no longer there and trying to move forward is a struggle
When you are feeling low think if she was here what would she say to you ?
Maybe some bereavement Counselling may benefit you
In time there might be clubs you can join for people that are on their own
You always have people on here you can talk to and I hope in time the pain will get less and you will post and let us know how you are doing x
Hello nipperet, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the hurt and sadness you feel. There is a saying that ‘Grief is the price we pay for love’ I believe that to be very true. You had 49 years of that love and that is the most precious of feelings anyone can have. I hope in time you are able to hold those happy memories deep within your heart and the anger and sadness subsides. I also believe your wife is with you every second of every day. I wish you peace and wellness always 🙏
ty so much i am trying so hard it just hasnt happened for me yet when you talk to someone for actually 50 years and then they are not here it is so lonely something i never had to go through .because of her breathing she had to sleep on the couch, every morning i get up and go to the couch and shes not there.
My heart goes out to you. I was told once that I would ‘get over’ losing my mum, time doesn’t heal but we do learn to cope and that is ALL anyone can ever ask of us. We cannot take away the hurt, it will take time but you will learn to cope. I do so hope there is someone you can talk to and share your feelings and memories with. It is SO difficult, I am sure you’re wife would want you to live a life of peace. You have to be kind to yourself and remember that grief is a natural part of missing the person we loved most in the world. It is early days for you, please take care, I send you a metaphorical blanket filled with all the comfort I can. Judi
ty so much it was weird for us michael bolton wrote a song that was us it was called i told you i loved you but i lied because love couldnt be this strong for the feelings i have for you inside it was so true when she came into a room my heart went pity pat pity pat you cant make it it just has to happen and it did and me for her to she said
My sympathy to you.Time will heal your hurt, little by little.
Your sad news has reminded me just what a nice bunch of people write on this forum
Sooty
ty so much
My deepest condolences and I am so sorry for your loss.
You were married a very long time and hopefully you have some very happy memories and eventually you will be able to focus on those than your bad experience.
The NHS (as we all know) is under immense strain, the more adept our medical experts become the more demand there is on their services. I believe the cardiac services is one of the most in demand department there is.
There is no doubt some sort of formula for prioritising the order of admissions and operations and in most cases this works but there are sadly times when something goes wrong or the body just physically cannot keep going.
There is nothing wrong with being angry with what happened but please don't let it overshadow your natural grieving for your wife which will help with the healing process.
I hope that you deal with this anger, either by letting it go or pursuing it, but remember if you choose to pursue it you will be delaying the natural grieving process.
My very best wishes to you and your family.
thank you so much sometimes the love i had for her gets in the way of reality i cant bring her back i miss her so much i cant hold her or hug her or kiss her again thats the part i am dealing with
My heart goes out to you! ❤️
ty it has been hard
Hi,
My deepest condolences to you. I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but your post really spoke to me as my wife and I celebrated our 49th wedding anniversary this past week.
As Heather says, there is nothing wrong feeling the way that you do about the course of events. Hang on to the feelings that you hold for your wife and treasure them for the very special thing that they are. Don't let what happened detract from what you had and indeed still have.
With my very best wishes for the future,
Gerald
ty very much and congrats on the 49 years i am sure that you are prob at where we were and michael bolton wrote our song and maybe yours it is i told you i loved you but i lied because love couldnt be this strong for the feelings i have for you inside the hardest part for me is the lonely feeling when you have someone to talk to for 50 years that i knew her and now she is gone its hard to explain to someone what that feels like
Our song is You've Got A Friend by James Taylor which just about says it all.
I've lost some very good friends along the way and each one has left a hole which I have filled with fond memories. Having your Soul Mate go must be so so much harder. A cavernous hole to fill.
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
G
you have to be strong we have 11 grankids sadly life goes on without her but i will do the best i can 2 years before she passed she said if anything ever happens to me i want you to find someone and carry on with your life but you have to promise me you will never marry again i said no problem and i will keep that promise
Dear Sir, my heart goes out to you it really does 49 years is a very long time it will take time every bereavement is different I have been with my hubby 50 years which is a long time and yes I have lost people but if it a husband or wife no one knows how you feel unless we have been through it. But give yourself time to grief talk to people share your thoughts remember her your memories together in time it will get bit better. Wish you all the best. ❤️
My heart go to you. The pain you are going through is palpable in your words. It makes it more difficult being alone with yours thoughts all the time.Is there someone in your circle you could lean on when you need ? Also, is there a bereavement group you could join ?
My friend lost her son and had really hard time until she joint bereavement group (10 years after he passed), which helped her. It took some time to get where she is now, but it is possible.
Maybe you are not ready yet, but when you are I think being with the group of people who are living with pain of loosing someone close to them might help.
Sending you healing thoughts and virtual 🤗
Dana
So sorry to hear of your sadness. At least you had a love so rare and she will be locked in your heart for as long as you live. Many never find it. Try to remember the happy times you had, and be joyful as you picture those golden days with her. She would want you to be happy, or at least at peace with your life, so try to do it for her. I had a friend who became a widower in his 50s. I always remember his words: "I have two options. I can spend my life in depression and mourning till I die, or I can do what she told me and get on with it."
hi ty 2 years ago my wife told me if anything happens to me i want you to go find someone and live a happy life but you have to promise me 1 thing sure okay what you will never get married again and of course i said ok and i never will
Hate to think of myself in the position of missing my wife as you are, but as the circle of life turns it will certainly come to one of us someday. We surely have a lot more wonderful yesterdays than we have tomorrows. I'm pretty sure that neither of us would marry again either. It would be too hard knowing what we'd had before, and that wouldn't be fair on someone new. I would like to think that there would be a middle ground for the one of us remaining though, where we could come to terms and live the remaining time in peace and reconciled with our golden memories. Good luck to you!
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