Accepting limitations

[ScoobyDoo71]

I am exhausted as I am constantly beating myself up to do more than I am able to do.

I have been through really detailed exercise programme with fantastic exercise physiologists due to breathlessness and I have very clearly been advised how to pace myself within my limits. The trouble is it drives me mad that I am as limited as I am.

I was born with my heart condition and over last 10 years things have steadily got worse. I have had to adapt as have my family and I feel hugely guilty about burdening them.

I am under appropriate care and being treated. I see so many people with what I perceive to be much more significant issues than me being able to do far more. I then end up in this cycle of trying to push myself harder which results in being poorly and wiping myself out.

Just wondering if anyone else has similar ?

Thanks

[Kristin1812 Heart Star]

Yes. In a word…YES. Like you, I find it incredibly difficult to judge my exact limits unless I go slightly beyond them. That cycle of pushing more and more until it’s clearly been too much (but it’s only afterwards that it is quite so clear what ‘too much’ is), then angina/sprays, total exhaustion, wipe-out, and forced to rest at least a day (for me) till the next round.

I’m sure lots manage it much better, and would love to know how.

But deep down I believe this continually testing the boundaries, picking yourself up, and starting off, again an again, means we haven’t let it get the best of us.

My Consultant tried to help with this. She generally approved of the determination, but said, ‘push yourself, but do try not to get angina. It’s not good for you’.

That bit is ‘work in progress!

[ScoobyDoo71 in reply to Kristin1812]

Thanks Kristin, I think stubbornness and determination have helped me as much as hindered me at times. I’m lucky I don’t have angina, just a heart age thats about 25 years older than what I actually am .

I find it can be so random with no 2 days the same so one day can do really well and then another time can’t manage the half of what I thought I would be able to do.

A good friend and colleague she is an occupational therapist also reminded me a while ago that it’s not just physical activity that uses energy but mental and emotional activity.

I do try now and factor that in to try and help me understand it all a bit more and give myself permission to have a rest.

Best wishes

[Kristin1812 Heart Star in reply to ScoobyDoo71]

Sounds a good tactic to try and generally pace yourself better. It sounds hard for you to anticipate ahead what you are going to be like.that day? Do you have any signs that tell you you are about to do too much, or does the day just start well, or badly, for you?

[ScoobyDoo71 in reply to Kristin1812]

I’m better in a morning so try and do stuff then. I do get some warning signs but if I’m out and about or with others I try hiding them which is not the best tactic. Got home from a shopping trip other week and was dreadful rest of the day. I hadn’t even bought anything just went with a friend. Only out couple of hours !I just need to balance my cup of energy better I think. It just drives me mad and I get so frustrated with it all.

All the media is around exercise and pushing yourself so that doesn’t help as despite my exercise plan very clearly setting realistic goals and I still feel that I should do more.

[Kristin1812 Heart Star in reply to ScoobyDoo71]

Some therapy did help me develop a better attitude to pacing, and being more open with others about the best way (for me, and my heart) of doing things….like shopping with a friend!Though some very active friends have found it hard, most really liked knowing what helped.

[Nettekin]

Hi scoobydoo. An interesting question, which many of our members will relate to whatever their own particular diagnosis. I think a lot of it is down to the concept of "acceptance". When my completely out of the blue heart attack happened I went into complete denial - I m arguably still there. Because I have never accepted it I cannot get my head round any limitations it has placed on my life.

In my case I am not really restricted now, but am still battling bp and cholesterol issues as well as a resurgence of degenerative disc disease (DDD).

Not sure what I'm waffling on about really (!) But have been looking at ACT therapy lately and it has some interesting ideas. So I guess in summary acceptance and pacing are probably just as important as exercise and healthy living.

Happy May day to you!x

[Kristin1812 Heart Star in reply to Nettekin]

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy sounds really helpful. Just the right words! Do you think I:1 is essential?

[Nettekin in reply to Kristin1812]

Hi kristin. Not sure yet. Thought I would do some research first, before committing to face to face. Always preferred reading about things than discussing with a stranger. Hope you find it useful.