Bothered

[Guernseycow]

Iam finding it hard to come to terms living with a device that controls my heart, i am really not happy with the situation which probably sounds ungratefull. Any body else felt like this and what did you do about it ? Thankyou

[10gingercats]

You do not say what is bothering you.Maybe pople can better assist you if they have a bit more info.

[Guernseycow in reply to 10gingercats]

I love the name I've got two black cats I used to have a gnger pudding who was a very loving boy . I went from being what I considered being a fairly fit 80+ to a vunerable old lady in 7 days , a heart monitor on the 28 /12/2021 to a pacemaker on the 5/1/22.with the thought why did they bother at my age, I can hear a friend on hearing his 91 year old mum had just had one exclaiming "she will never die now"!! I'm tired f cooking gardening shopping etc , and I still have a husband who needs support en though he is 12 years younger than me. Serves me right for carpet snatching, he's had a pacemaker for 10 years!!!

Cat on a chair

[Hidden]

Hello

I had a triple Bypass and I have struggled ever since coming to terms with it and the changes I now feel to what I used to be

And I am no way ungrateful either far from it but when things change it can take some adapting to , accepting and I think in time you will as I will to x

[Guernseycow in reply to Hidden]

Hello and thank you my husband had his first pacemaker 10 years ago and rekons it was the best thing since slicced bread, but then he had been struggling with I'll health for 30 years and this suddenly solved it. Whereas I have always been strong and fit so it as a horrendous shock and at my age why bother to keep me alive at 82 ive had the best of my day's life is just a struggle?

[Hidden in reply to Guernseycow]

Hello

I am nearly 60 so I suppose trying to understand how you might feel at 82 is a little hard for me but I hope you still have your Husband and what would he do without you ?

I am glad though that you can say you have had a good life that is lovely to hear and I hope you can adjust to this and have many more years

Hopefully as time goes on you will be glad they did it

I really hope so x

[nilmonisikdar40]

Hi dear, How long have you had the procedure. Do you suffer from any other chronic condition. ?I guess you gave attended cardiac rehab. after the procedure.

[Kristin1812 Heart Star]

Is it your dependence on a machine, that’s so hard to accept? The machine, not you, being in control? I’d certainly identify with that, but just trying to understand it better from your viewpoint.

[Driver11]

Hi I had an ICD fitted nearly 4 yrs ago following CA. I wasn't to keen on the idea but then thought it was not much different to having other things in your body, fillings etc, I've also had a new hip. What you have to think is all these things are there to help you live a better and longer life , good luck

[Guernseycow in reply to Driver11]

Hi thanks for your message This ungrateful old moo s not sure she wants a longer life if she can't enjoy it and at the moment I just get so tired it depresses me

[Afibflipper]

I do not have a device but I think I can empathise - I’ve previously had a loop recorder device inserted and removed. Though it didn’t control my heart it monitored it and I’d send recordings down the phone line. So it was alien inside and would feel it’s presence when hugged etcI now have AF which is out of control - so controlling me which is hard to accept.

However, I’m trying to look at a positive side to everything - firstly I’m still alive and kicking but have down and scary days - it’s allowed

Our heart controls us from birth but when it struggles it needs help be it meds or devices - try then to think of the device as a helpful friend just giving you backup

If you’re shopping and have too many bags it’s helpful to have a trolley

Try thinking it’s just your immediate first aid box doing the job rather than having to wait for someone

And I swear by relaxation techniques such as mindfulness, Reiki or spa type music while taking 5 minutes to yourself, Headspace is an excellent app

These are just simple thoughts and in no way diminishing your need for the device but hope they help see it in a different light - my friend is super fit no health issues but her mantra to me is when you wake say “today will be a good day and if not it’s a blip and tomorrow will come” xx

[Guernseycow in reply to Afibflipper]

Thank you for your thoughts, only had my monitor 5 days before it was removed and a pacemaker put in the implant didn't worry me was quite fascinated by the cover monitor but the pacemaker I fnd uncomfortable and it doesn't like it when I exert myself like I used to do. Finding it hard

[Afibflipper in reply to Guernseycow]

I’m sorry, have you mentioned to the medics - maybe it needs to heel I don’t know - hope it improves soon for you x

[RufusScamp]

I had one fitted about 18 months ago. I was initially quite upset at the thought of it, but the more I read about it, the more I realised it was helping rather than controlling, and enabling me to do more for longer.

[Guernseycow in reply to RufusScamp]

Suppose I was lucky, I was very fit for my age so it all been a bit of a shock when everything comes to a stop

[RufusScamp in reply to Guernseycow]

You did well to get to 82! I was 68, and thought I was fit and healthy. I have always been active and watched my diet, so the diagnosis was a real shock. I am sure you will get used to it. I forget about it until they phone after my 6 monthly reading.

[Alison_L]

Hi Guernseycow. I assume you have been given a pacemaker or ICD or similar. I was given an ICD 4 years ago, and was extremely depressed for a while, by both that and the whole idea that my heart was no longer coping on its own. You will gradually get used to it, and, as others have said, you come to realise that, rather than controlling, the device is assisting your heart to let you have a better quality of life than you might have without it.

[Guernseycow in reply to Alison_L]

Yes it's a pacemaker after 5 days of a heart monitor, I fnd it unomfortable, I suppose old skin is not very elastic and am frightened I may might pull a wire loose,my husband had one come loose on his first one, I do rather throw myself into doing things find it hard to restrain myself

[Alison_L in reply to Guernseycow]

As long as you follow the advice of not lifting your arm over your head or behind your back for 8 weeks (or whatever it is now), those wires are pretty tough, and you'd be really unlucky to pull one out. xx

[Leon17]

On a lighter note, I also have pacemaker and aeortic valve, first felt like the Crocodile in Peter Pan (the one that ticks) I can hear the valve. Just think how much we are worth in scrap metal !

[Guernseycow in reply to Leon17]

Scrap metal prices at bad at the moment!!

[bikerider2022]

HI, it gets better.

I'm on my 2nd ICD/Pacemaker. My first one was fine, mentally I'd accepted the fact I needed it. But when it came to having the replacement, I was all over the place. It hadn't gone off, and therefore in my head hadn't needed to do it's job so why do I need another one. 4 weeks after the replacement it went off and all of a sudden my head flipped and accepted the fact.

My first one was at 35 and the 2nd one at 42.

As I say, it does get better, talking to professionals is a good way to discuss how you feel.

Hope you start feeling better soon.

[Guernseycow in reply to bikerider2022]

For me it was asudden shock 4 blackouts on the27 December a heart monitor and then pacemaker all happened n the space of a week the second op they took the implant out and put the pacemaker in 2 holes name go ouch very unomfortable I'm like two people now the one before and the one after!!!

[Alison_L]

I suspect a predictive text there for cradle snatcher

[Guernseycow]

Me and my hudl tablet it has a mind of its own I had meant o say cradle snatching what possesed it to put carpet in I must proof read more carefully thank you