Stress and angina

[Etblue]

How do I keep relaxed to avoid an angina attack during contact...trying to restrict..with in-laws who, in the past become abusive if I do not comply with their demands... Feel a bit better after writing this. Thanks for reading

[Hidden]

Since no-one else has responded, try this.....

1. Talk to your partner and tell him that the abusive treatment his parents can give you is not helping your angina, and you would like him to tell them to tone things down, and hopefully that will do the trick . But If that is not possible (e.g. because your husband is no longer with you) then 2. And if your husband is not receptive to your suggestion then 3.

2. Tell your in-laws they are not welcome unless they modify their behaviour towards you.

3. Ensure you are out of they house if they visit, and don't meet up with them outside of your home, but don't attempt to restrict your husband seeing his parents.

With such drastic measures hopefully they will see you mean business and if they value your relationship at all will make amends.

And it might be worth sharing your problems with the Samaritans or the like, to see what they can suggest.

But above all don't feel guilty about protecting your health and well being, even though it may upset others a little.

[Etblue in reply to Hidden]

Thanks very much for your input.. it's different family dynamics, nevertheless I will use the strategies you mentioned. I am very grateful for you attention and care. Regards

[VelvetSky in reply to Etblue]

Hi Etblue, I presume you’ve told them you’ve got heart problems. If they start on you just say sorry you’ll have to go I need to lie down quietly. Or if you are a good actress do a lot of moaning and groaning and frighten the life out of them, saying sorry you are causing me too much stress, you’ll cause me to have a heart attack. Remember, it’s about you and your health, stand up for yourself.

[Etblue in reply to VelvetSky]

Thank you for your understanding and support. Feeling better about situation and we are putting boundaries in place for both of our health issues. The person involved has serious mental health problems and we have used this to cut too much slack regarding behaviour.thankyou so much for replying

[specific_apartment_7]

If they are like members of my family they will take nothing on board and not change. I really think you need professional help to mediate with them, as you saying anything will probably just be scoffed at. I have a family member that doesn't believe in stress or depression. It is almost impossible to deal with abusive people like that and maybe you should talk to your GP as they must have experience of this situation with other patients. But definitely limit contact, as toxic people really can ruin their victims physical and mental health. I wonder if your partner with be supportive? Or do they not even recognise the abusive behaviour? Often people who have grown up in unhealthy environments are not even aware that they are being abused. But anyway, boundaries need to put in place for your health. Life is too short to put up with other people's crap.

[Etblue in reply to specific_apartment_7]

Mmm you have read the book, saw the film and wore the tee shirt. Thanks for replying and caring. Feeling better as we have discussed and boundaries to keep us safe. You are so spot on as are others, I need to put my health first and protect mysey. Thank you so very much. Take care

[Kristin1812 Heart Star]

It sounds a pretty complex situation. Sorry it’s got to this stage.It will surely take time and courage to make progress, in such dynamics, and maybe an objective professional counsellor or mediator could be useful to you?

But this won’t be quick.

In the immediate, it’s really just down to managing your own reactions.

Relaxation, auto-hypnosis or meditation suits some.

Perhaps even mentioning calmly, that you are trying to relax more and avoid stress.

[Etblue in reply to Kristin1812]

You are right it takes courage, especially when you are a caring and forgiving and healthy person. Thanks for your input and all the replies have strengthened me to do the right thing re my 💖 heart. Thank you and take care

[Kristin1812 Heart Star]

I’m so pleased you seem to have a way forward. It can’t be easy.Families! Who’d have ‘em?

[Etblue in reply to Kristin1812]

Thanks for that and take care. I have had such good idea's and understanding. Feel blessed

[fit4walks]

My heart problems resulted from unresolvable family circumstances on my husband’s side. After the stressors finally left our house, my angina has finally eased up. What I found very beneficial is to read the book: ‘the healing self’ by Deeprak Chopra. I did all the right things with regard to eating and fitness, but hadn’t realised how much stress influences our everyday life and how much it contributes to heart disease. Now, when my husband gets stressed, I ask him to leave the house, go to another room, or do the washing up without talking (it seems to be stress release for him😜) or I will leave the house. In the meantime I practice my meditation and surround myself with happy people. Making yourself happy is the key to healthy living!! Stay in touch and good luck. 👍🤞😊

[Etblue in reply to fit4walks]

Thank you so much. I will definitely source this book. I hate blaming re angina, but, realistically I thought I was strong and could cope mentally and emotionally & spiritually. Now realise the person's behaviour caused a great deal of stress over 20 years and contributed to adverse health. Will order this book. Peace and calm to you. Take care 🙏