Impending surgery

[Bakingcrazy]

Hi just wondering if anyone has any advice. I have surgery booked for the end of January to replace my aortic valve. I’ve managed to shelve lots of concerns until the last week. I’m having real trouble sleeping, constantly thinking of what could go wrong and the risks involved. I desperately want the surgery as I know I have little choice but how do I manage the next 3 weeks.

[080311]

Hello Bakingcrazy

Welcome to the forum, a place you never thought you would be joining but a place that will try and help you get through this heart issue.

The hardest part of open heart surgery is the waiting. I had my Aortic valve replaced and bypass done over 5 years ago. This operation is big but it’s not as bad as our imagination makes it.

As for getting through the next few weeks, get prepared. After surgery you can’t lift your arms above your head no lifting anything heavier than half a kettle of water and no pulling or pushing movements. So have a look at your kitchen anything you use often and is up high bring down. Things like hoovering and ironing is a no no, no pulling or pushing movements what a bonus 😂

Get your hospital bag packed, mobile phone long charging cable reading material I have a kindle so found that easier. Pjs front fastening and front fastening bra.

As for the thoughts running round your head we all have them, you say you know you have to have it done. I was 68 when I had mine done and without it I wouldn’t be here now. Over the last 5 years I have seen my family thrive, have seen granddaughters turn into beautiful young women with the ability to make their mark on the world. So every day I thank the medical team that gave me a second chance.

Your team will be the best at what they do and after all it is their day job.

Just think in a few weeks you will be travelling this heart mended road,

Let us all know how you are getting on and if you need help just post and someone will be along to try and answer your questions.

Best wishes Pauline

[Cornishbeach]

HiI'm on the waiting list for Mitral valve repair and hoping I will have a date soon. I really empathise with you as I know it needs to be done but am still scared stupid! I'm 56 with a medical background so I over think everything. I find that talking through all the pros helps and reading through advice on this forum about what to expect and the successes has really helped to. There's great support on here and I am sure you will get many positive replies. I'm not sure what symptoms you are currently suffering from but I know mine are getting worse and I'm having to take 4 types of medication to keep me feeling 'ok'. So I think about how much better I will be when it's done but it's not easy to stop thinking about the actual surgery. I then tell myself that this is the surgeon's day job and they are very skilled so stop worrying! All in all I take one day at a time. You will make it through and be as good as new very soon and able to live your life again. Best wishes. Let us know how you get on. x

[Hidden]

Hello

It is still very clear in my mind when I was getting nearer to having my triple Bypass and it is quite normal to start having all these thoughts that start keeping you awake

But I would come on here and get such positive replies , reminders how this was going to give me a new lease of life , how others had been through it and doing so well it really gave me confidence and kept me going

So I would keep posting and remember as I was told these surgeons are fantastic at what they do

I look forward to reading your post after your surgery and how well you are doing x

[Hidden]

Dear Bakingcrazy

First off a big welcome into the forum and from this moment on you must never feel alone, for we are all here under similar circumstances.

So what can I do to levitate some of your worries ? Not a great deal personally, but as a collective group we hope to be able to lift a great burden from your shoulders.

The main part of that burden is the waiting and not so much the unknown. With the waiting I found it best just to get on with my day to day living and judging by your posting name you must be into baking { we are a perfect match because I like eating ! }

I wish we could take away the fears for you and maybe by reading others stories on here will help that.

Also ask away any question, for most on here have gone through or are going to go through exactly what you are.

You are still a valuable individual that as time goes on will allow us to know them better.

Take care you are in my thoughts.

[Darkshades]

Write ✍️ all your concerns and worries down … that way you don’t have to waste valuable time trying to sleep going over the same things over and over again, as you’ve already dealt with it all with your notes👍

Play relaxation tapes … read a book .. get your mind off of it. Put your mind set to 4 weeks time and focus on all the good things this op will enable you to do… think of how you’ll be in the Spring.. the Summer … xx

[danny10]

Hi there. I will be having surgery in about 4-5 days. I have tried to enjoy my last month for what is possible without thinking too much about it. It is getting harder now and fears are there. Just try to trust that this is for the best and they know very well what they are doing. Try meditation, watching movie, or better spend time outside with your loved ones. I have succeeded to teach my son how to bike on his own in the last 4-5 days and this goal kept me busy. Also I am trying to be a calmer and more loving person by doing meditation and spiritual work. Just try to be busy with something meaningful. I hope it helps somehow. Blessings. Daniele

[Blackcatsooty]

By far the worst part is the waiting. Once you get through the hospital doors then the fears will reduce, in my case the fear disappeared.I studied my book on how to use my iPad. And I read revelations in my modern bible.

Meditation is an excellent idea.

I use a tinnitus relaxer.

Loss of sleep at this stage doesn’t matter.

The medical staff are experts, they know their jobs so very well..

Best wishes

Colin

[Hidden]

Hi Bakingcrazy

Get baking! Freeze some lovely stuff for when you get back home! Yum!

Seriously though, this is the very worst time. I think, without exception, we all thought that. You feel shocked, lost and frightened. There is nothing you can do to stop this from happening. It’s like a nightmare you can’t wake up from.

What’s more, you want it to happen. Crazy feelings.

I can only revisit what this great forum and the lovely Hearties ❤️ on here told me a year ago when I was facing the same thing.

Get ready by doing what Pauline said earlier. I can only add to that by saying online retail therapy did it for me. I felt I had some control back by organizing everything especially inside the house. Bringing things down to shoulder level so I didn’t have to lift my arms up.

The things I found most useful to buy were:-

Foam Wedge for the bed. Sleeping upright for the first few weeks was the only way I could sleep at all. Better than a V pillow which moved about.

Shower stool. I thought, I’m only 66 I don’t need one! Wrong! It was bliss sitting in there with warm water cascading down my body and relaxed.

A portable Power Bank for charging your phone and iPad etc. No bending down to inaccessible sockets at home or in hospital. Keep it charged up.

I didn’t bother with bras. Too uncomfortable and I’m quite small in that department so it was easier without for a few weeks. Front buttoned shirts and pjs I found rather uncomfortable as the top button always fell where my scar was. I bought oversized v neck or scoop neck tops and climbed into them. No arms up remember!!

Enjoy your retail online therapy. I say online as you don’t want to go round the shops now. Stay safe and get this done.

Let us know how you get on as we all will want to know

BTW a year on (28th Jan 21 )and I feel fit and well.

Best wishes from myself and all the Hearties ❤️

❤️Maisie❤️

[080311 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Maisie

Just read your post, wow is it coming up for 12 months. My goodness the time as flown by.

It so good to read how well you are, I can remember replying to you before your surgery.

Take good care

Pauline xxx

[Hidden in reply to 080311]

You were so kind Pauline! Yes, feeling well and enjoying my walking now.

Another thing BakingCrazy has to look forward to is the Spring. Having it done in January is pretty good timing really. Recovering inside while it wet and cold outside and ready to head out when the weather improves. 🌺

[080311 in reply to Hidden]

Your so right, when I had my surgery son bought me a pair of joggers and hoodie! A 68 year old in a hoodie 😂 Have been using them all these years for my walking one of my Christmas presents was a new set. This time the hoodie is bright green no one’s going to miss me and my try very hard power walking😂now a 74 year old 😉

Best wishes Pauline xxx

[ChoochSiesta in reply to Hidden]

Mine is in 10 days and my brother pointed out this. I thought the same, best time of year stuck inside tbh!

[Hidden in reply to ChoochSiesta]

Good luck ChoochSiesta. Will be think of you too!

[Leonardo1]

Just to add my 2 penth - I’m 3 weeks post op today !! Hurray a glitch last week but yesterday I walked 1/4 mile !!! No puffs no exhaustion just solid walking !!! It’s a big op - you feel like a car crash but you are in good hands they do this all the time - and 3 weeks post op I’m feeling stronger - I’m planning a future !! Without my op I sat at home couldn’t make it to the wheelie bin !!! Couldn’t carry on working life was exhausting and limiting !! Now I am looking forward to an incredible future - try not to worry this op is not done unnecessarily you need it and life will be better !!!! Good luck ch ❤️

[ChoochSiesta]

Crikey, just reading your story shows my similarities. I retired 2 years ago and looked forward to faster, fitter bike rides. So, why on earth was I getting slower? Eventually got an MRI scan: "oh you have had a second heart attack". That was shocking enough but then the first mention of "bypass" just hit me like a sledgehammer. So, mentally since that diagnosis on Oct. 4 (which was 3 months after the scan) my life has stopped, can't think of anything else but "bypass". 9 days to go now until coming out the other side and being able to look forward again.

[CyclingPops]

Hi. Just read your message. I’m 61 and had my AV replaced 3 years ago and I still work and still exercise and have had 3 precious years to see my grandchildren grow with I hope many more to come. A normal lifestyle. So please focus on the positive things you’re going to do post op. On a practical note to prep for the big day is try to ensure dental hygiene is maximum because Aortic artery has a branch to the gums. Take flip flops with you for when you have a shower in hospital to keep feet off floor. Both these will try to prevent any infection starting whilst your body recovers. If post-op you develop a cough that’s OK but ask for a Cough Lock - it’s an elastic aged band to support the chest area during the early days. It really helped me. I had Minimal Invasive Surgery and you can hardly see my scar now so check to see what type you’re having. All my very best wishes ……..

[Fish4Info]

Hey, I'm 63 and 15 years post CABGx4. I'm not going to lie the post-op period isn't great. But I followed the advice booklet, and recovered well. I was back at work after about 8-12 weeks. (My advice would be to take longer :-)). Since then my 3 sons have got good degrees, found beautiful partners, (2 are married and 1 engaged), and I've now got 4 grandkids. The boys have gone on to get good jobs too. Meanwhile I've moved in with my partner (after a decade as a single dad). I've travelled too: Europe, Middle East, India, Australia, US, Canada, Peru, Ghana. My outlook definitely changed after my heart op ... and I'd say I've been quite lucky. Of course, there have been downs too ... but I feel it's important to enjoy today ... because you never know what tomorrow brings ... and being positive is the best way to be.

Good luck and I hope all goes well. Carpe diem,

Best wishes,

David