Hi, I am a new joiner, I am 60 and retired from a high pressured and demanding job 2 years ago. I had a heart attack in May 2021 which resulted in one stent.
Initially I was very shocked, then the fear, then relief I was fixed. I adjusted very quickly and within one month was back to walking 5 miles a day and 3 swimming sessions a week under the cardiac physio management.
I changed my diet as I was and still am very over weight. At 5ft 4 ins I weighted nearly 16 stone, I have now lost nearly 2 stone and reduced my drinking (mostly but not always) to the weekly 14 units guideline. All good stuff but!
I feel I am now stuck ( in my head) the fear of another attack has returned, I am eating badly and fall into the pre-diabetic levels, which I hoped losing weight would help, in fact it has gone up, and I know the meds may contribute to this. I am de-motivated and feel I am in self sabotage mode.
I enjoy the exercise so this is not a problem, but the fear, food and alcohol is very much a struggle.
How have others move forward from this mind set?
Thanks
Debbie
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Grenfell37
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Congratulations on the weight loss and on the exercise, I once heard a doctor say there was no pill that equals the benefit of simply losing two stones, so you achieved a major step there towards a long and healthy life.
Unfortunately we can never back off.
Our underlying coronary heart disease will never be cured, all we can do is slow its progress to a crawl.
It sounds like you and I share similar symptoms, my doctor believes my heart disease was driven by a slow drift toward becoming pre-diabetic. Weight loss, exercise, diet, and medication have worked together to get all my medical scores back into the safe zone. But I know it's a job for life. I'll never, ever be able to ease up or else heart disease (and type 2 diabetes) will come knocking on my door once again.
I appreciate it can sometimes feel pretty gruelling, but the alternative is far worse.
Type 2 diabetes is the biggest cause of disability in this country, and then you've got the life limiting prospects of angina, heart attacks and strokes. Dig deep Debbie and keep on with your life style changes, consolidate those gains and then push further to build your defences even higher.
We can't ever be totally free of our terrible disease, but we can tilt the odds in our favour instead of being stacked against us.
Thank you for your supportive response. What has resonated is the fact this is not a part time job and as you rightly say this is a full time job for life, literally!
Having spent some time looking at others stories and the questions people have posted, I realise I have been “lucky”. I recovered quickly and have had very few side effects from the mixture of drugs.
I am naturally a positive person so to find myself in self sabotage mode, is a struggle for me to comprehend about myself.
So I thank you for the voice of reason and positivity, I feel more hopeful.
Debbie
Hi Grenfell, I've found I've suffered ptsd after my first heart attack. Just had my 2nd, which strangely the pain was worse but the mental health issues have been easier.. Apart from the brain fog etc..
Anyway, to cut a long answer short, have you approached your gp or considered referring yourself in to your local mental health team. Here it's called the iapt team. I'm finally referring myself in because I'm fed up of the ups and downs of ptsd.
There's a strength that comes from admitting you're having problems and there is professional help available. So I hope, that like me, you'll take the plunge and accept perhaps you need to have a chat and get some help.
Wishing you the very best with your recovery. Remember, it's not just about your heart, you've had a huge shock!
I think of it as I'm having to get used to being in this body again... So there's no wonder I've struggled...
I think you pose a very good question, have I recognised I might need some external help?
Having been in a role all my life supporting others, it is not so easy to see yourself in the same light.
I will investigate IAPT options. Thank you.
You sound as if your journey has not been an easy one either. I wish you well with own challenges, it helps knowing others can offer advice and options I had no knowledge of.
I've spent the last 14 months throwing myself body and soul into helping the homeless, addicts and mentally ill. It was only in hospital a few weeks ago after the 2nd heart attack that I finally accepted I've been avoiding helping myself by helping others.
You sound very similar and I wish you all the very best. Be kind to yourself.
Hello and welcome to the forum. As Chappychap says, congratulations on the weight loss. Its a huge first step. Also, how positive that you are still motivated to exercise - getting out daily and walking briskly is a tonic for mood as well as being good for your heart. But it does sound as if you might benefit from some outside help/support to re-motivate you and get you back on the path to improvement.Having any life threatening event can be a real shock to the system - both the physical system and the psychological one and you've clearly hit the buffers in your recovery. Why not talk to your GP (if you can) and see whether therapy would be of help to you. The NHS services (the IAPT service) are free but the waiting lists are long in most areas. Your GP may be able to suggest local low cost counselling services. Its worth thinking about and always worth a shot - even if it turns out to be not for you.
Pauline, another forum member, wisely comments that none of us asked to be in this club...but here we are, all with our own worries and concerns - and all trying to stay healthy. You are among friends here, so keep going and let us know how you get on.
Thank you for your positive and balanced approach to my question.
Reflection is a wonderful thing, I now start to see that my journey is not as bad I first thought. On my rollercoaster I could only see the lows and none of the highs. Like the previous reply from snoweybm you have provided an alternative thought process in to looking at some external support. Braving it out by myself may not be the answer!
Strangely I do think I “deserve” to be in this position. Unlike many others my lifestyle has contributed massively to my demise. A highly stressful and demanding job, which I loved with a passion, but it left no time for anything else.
It was only when I finished work that I started to realise that I put everything into my job. Travelling, living and eating in hotels for many years has taken its toal. Little or no exercise, no hobbies and few friends. I don’t have any regrets and loved the team I worked with but like many others on this forum the need for life/work balance is critical to your longer term wellbeing and I was too absorbed to see it, despite my husbands pleas.
I don’t think I need a counsellor, I just need to keep talking to you guys!
I am sure that you can you achieve your own goals. I have learnt with losing weight you can only do it for yourself and no one else. You only compete with yourself and your body.
I take positivity from the fact that you got back on track and it is possible to break the mental barriers.
Until, I joined this group I didn’t consider talking to my GP from a counselling point of view.
I was offered the NHS weight management course. 12 weeks to lose 10% of your body weight. For me the tutor was boring, she just read from the book and I didn’t learn anything new. This was not a personal motivator, but many in the group did very well. It did cover the physical aspect but not the psychological aspect of weight and the impact on your health.
I am thinking about other weight loss programmes which has this type of support.
I think I need to separate the weight loss and mental health support and hopefully it will all come together.
AFraid I have also had useless counselling on NHS. I tried one course on pain management and ended up teaching a young girl how to live with chronic pain. She hadn't a clue. The smoking cessation course after my heart attack was also pretty useless. She basically just gave me prescriptions for patches. But there are some good ones around. IF one person just isn't right, you can always ask to have someone else. I've done that more than once
My son has the same problem. He counts calories; something I could never do but even so, the weight simply doesn't come off. He has a very valid and very strong reason for wanting to lose the weight but no matter how hard he tries , it just won't go so he's gone back to his GP.
Retirement can be a big problem for some people who don't have a serious hobby or passtime, I am semi retired and always at a loose end, giving me too much time to think. My guess from your story is that is your problem too and maybe finding something that keeps you really busy will help. Helping others is extremely theraputic and storing those good deeds in your memory bank will cheer you up a lot. My wife's large family are struggling financially and I am able to help them a lot, with advice too, making their lives much better during these difficult times.
"The devil makes work for idle hands" Eating and drinking excessively in your case. You need to shrug this off and be happy again.
Bonne Chance....and dont listen to people who tell you how difficult it is, believe in yourself.
I loved your last line. I know I am very fortunate to be able to afford to retire so early and I hoped to make the most of my time. The HA has dampened this a bit.
Lock down has hampered some of our plans, but I have tried to engage in other activities.
I do spend time with my grandsons, unfortunately they are now at an age that being with Gran is not so cool!
I do voluntary work for a local group and have recently joined the local flower club.
You are right boredom and lack of challenging projects means it’s easy to snack and indulge in treats. Most of my socialising revolves round coffee shops or meals out.
You know Debbie the word "treat" has taken on a whole new meaning in the last 60 years, it used to mean something you have very occasionally and on specially times like Xmas, easter, or birhdays and treats are killers. They usually contain margerine, processed oils and danna!!!..SUGAR. Plus all those lovely chemicals our "respected" scientists say you should have, so that you eat more and they sell more £££!. So it's your choice, do you want to get better, or indulge?
My wife and I go the coffeeshop most mornings, but before, I go to LIDL and buy a couple of all-butter croissants and eat one with my coffee, because I like cakes. On the rare occasion we do eat out, I order grilled fish, or a small steak, pork chop and hold the pudding...because it's a "treat" and I have done nothing to deserve it.
If you have any other friends that also eat badly...and with New Year Resolution coming up, explain to them the real meaning of the word "treat".
Meat and 2 veg is what I grew up on and never more than one biscuit with my milk at bedtime. Ran everywhere and never had a day off school, apart from the measles.
I try to keep that in mind as I consider my life and health important.....how about you Debbie?
Morning, they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder and treats must be the same! I have never eaten pastry so a croissant is my worst nightmare as a treat.
I no longer eat any processed food at home and cook from scratch and agree that the genetically generated food is designed to be addictive Pringles for example is one of the worst and I love them, though have not had any since my HA.
What I consider as a treat now, is half a naan bread with a prawn curry, or a piece of carrot cake once a month, or the occasional butchers sausage!
I saw my cardiologist this week and she is very pleased with my progress to the point she has signed me back over to my GP. EXCEPT for my weight.
I have seriously given this a lot of thought and you are right the treats are a killer!
Paul McKenna has some good visualisation techniques, when you see a food you want to eat you have to imagine it covered in something gross, spiders, vomit, snakes etc.
this changes the minds desires.
My daughter also suggested the reverse gold star system she used with my grandson.
If I avoid the bad stuff, one gold star on my calendar, one whole month of gold stars means I can have a none food treat - I appreciated her sentiment but the thought of being treated like a child was enough for me to refocus on being an adult!
Having read a number of posts on this forum I now realise how lucky I have been and need to take my “ second” life as a gift.
My cardiologist has given me the confidence and the mental stimulation to tackle my life long food addictions. I was brought up in a hotel, food was always on the go, I worked in the food industry for many years so food has always been a big part of life, now food is my nemesis.
I have booked a session with second nature a lifestyle change program and some vegan cooking lessons in the new year.
So to answer your question in the last 3 weeks I have decided I do want to live a longer and healthy life and treats are less important. ❤️
Thank you for keeping in touch, as you pose questions it keeps the focus.
Not sure what you mean about beauty in the eye of the beholder, but treat is treat and has basically been GMd to suit the people selling junk food, which is everywhere.
I talked about my childhood and what I was allowed because "mother knows best", taught by their mothers. Now we are taught by advertsiers, who have a career in the psychology of getting us to eat more crap.
Paul McKenna is brilliant, so I would agree with you there, but it is down to you, I made some major changes after my HA because I didn't want another one. I am an engineer so logic is in my DNA, but that is what you need.
I haven't done everything right and am still learning and always will. If something isn't working I change it, or fix it...."Dont keep asking the same question and expect a different answer".
I have no intetion of telling you how to live your life, just give you [pointers of what works for me. I am 6ft tall and weight around 72kg and that is down to a decent diet, which is not boring for me and moderate regular exercise. The stress management is still work in progress.
Hi Debbie, I have just realised that my reply to your problem wasn't that constructive, so i am sorry. Let me start again. you are a fan of Paul McKenna and I remember a weight loss plan he suggested which made a lot of sense to me.1 Eat when you are hungry.
2. Eat what you like. (IMO excluding all processed foods)
3. Eat slowly putting your knife and falk down between mouthfuls.
4. Stop when you are full.
5. Dont weigh yourself (see note* below)
I cant remember number 6, but Paul McKenna says diets are counterproductive.
Note* Straight after my HA I went on a vegan diet, indeed a limited vegan diet and dropped from 86 to 65kg in a few weeks. When I looked at myself in the mirror I looked like a corpe and that worried me after the HA shock earlier. So I got off that diet and bought some dumbells and started using them as much as possible to tone up. I kept them buy the sofa and would use them whenever I thought of it. Being so much lighter, my knee arthritis didn't trouble me, so I began walking and pretty soon I started to look better in the mirror. Now I have very low cholesterol levels and statins lower them even further and this is why I lost weight so easily.
The point I am making is instead of weighing yourself, look at yourself in the mirror, get some dumbells to suit your strength/fitness, maybe a few different weights and you will see an improvement. The problem with scales is you will lose weight and then put some back on and it can be demoralising and you may say "oh to hell with that" and go back to old habbits.
If it has taken you years to put the weight on, so it will take months or more to lose it, but if you see small improvements, which you will it, will keep you motavated. You will also see improvements to you health and fitness, but tiny improvements each week. keep them to yourself unless others comment.
Now you have said that you are a good cook and use basic indredients and that is a big plus. Remember what treats are, they are earned.
"What one man can do another man can do".
That's my two penneth, bonne chance. You are just a kid, so behave like one.
Debbie - I had decided to abstain from this forum up until reading through you post, as my situation is quite different from most on here and I would be the first to admit I am probably not the most sympathetic member at times, and find myself at odds with most contributors very often. However I can't help myself, and therefore I think you should read through all your replies again and have a bit of a rethink. I hope you do not take my response the wrong way, all the tea and sympathy stuff is absolutely fine, but personally I don't buy the PTSD etc side of it but that's just me. I think Chappychap, being a far more subtle and eloquent contributor than I has summed things up perfectly, frankly. Your lifestyle up to the point of your HA was probably the main contributory factor, and nothing you have said convinces me that you have actually done much to change things, really? I find quite a few things you have said quite sad really, mainly your reply to francesw47 (it was only when I finished work....) and also when you mentioned about "Granny" and your life revolving around eating out and so on. As a person who has always tried to keep fit and healthy, as many others have done, I think your comments about contributing to your own demise are quite relevant. You may well need support, if it is available, but I think what you really need to do is realise how very lucky you are to have come out of "the other side" of your HA, and start making the lifestyle changes that are vital to prevent further problems which will also affect other people not just you. From your opening post it would seem a second HA is almost inevitable unless you make the diet and exercise changes necessary. Sorry of this seems a bit unsympathetic and against the grain of most of the other responses but it is the only way you are going to halt the progression of your Atherosclerosis. No amount of counselling or sympathy will do it, and I think really you know this, which is why I have replied to you. It's a simple life choice really, you absolutely have to start eating properly and exercising regularly, or things will just progress to the inevitable conclusion. When I came out of hospital I made a pledge to myself and my wife that if anything else happened to me, it would not be for the lack of trying on my part - from what you have said maybe you owe this to your husband? Anyway good luck and I hope you take this reply in the context it is meant, there really is no other way. If you are able to walk and swim the distances you mentioned, then there should be nothing stopping you from doing something like a couch to 5K program and then on to things like parkruns and so on. Trust me there is NOTHING that a GP or counsellor could prescribe that will give you a better feeling or reason to change your life for the better.
in reply to
Well said lateguitarist, like you I said that I would do everything I could to avoid another heart attack.The cocktail of meds are brilliant but that's only part of the story, the rest is down to you to take the lifestyle choices that will keep you out of a coffin.
Tea and sympathy doesn't keep you well, exercise and diet do.
Firstly thank you for reading my post, I am not offended at your direct and honest feedback. I sense some anger and frustration in your response.
I am not looking for sympathy and know my current situation is down to me and the choices I have made and I am being honest with myself.
I looked to the forum to see what other people do to maintain the focus and drive when they hit the “wall” or have difficultly in maintaining the right things.
You for example have made promises to yourself and your wife, this is your safety net, should you fail, you have failed two people. This is your motivation.
Others seek help in counselling to keep them on the straight and narrow.
Some are driven by the joys of dancing and cruising, these joys outweigh the other pleasures ( if that is how they saw it) they needed to sacrifice to ensure they can and continue to do these things.
Some people find change easier than others and I am still finding my way and can only do this for myself and no one else.
I wanted to see others peoples motivations and drivers and compare them to my own, to see what I am missing. Having re-read the posts and my responses, my main motivation and fear is that I don’t want to be a burden to my husband and family and only I can change that.
Thank you I take heed from the strength of your sentiment and that of JohnH100.
Hi again. First of all thank you for your reply and for taking my response in the manner it was meant. To be honest you have restored my waning faith in this forum as all too often the OP either takes offence at the more "matter of fact" responses they get or, despite in some cases some very well thought out and lengthy replies, makes no further comment at all. Sometimes it leaves you wondering if they have even bothered to return and read them, which I personally find rather rude, but that might just be me.I certainly did feel a degree of anger following my rather shocking discovery that I did something I never thought I would and followed in my Dad's footsteps and ended up in this place, despite my best efforts to keep fit all my life, as have many. I did admit however that my diet although balanced and varied all my life contained far too much saturated fat derived from meat and dairy products. I have the excuse that this was what I was brought up on as a lad, and obviously it followed into my adult life up until 3 years ago. I think the fact I have always been slim and exercised regularly made me feel bullet proof. It is also easy to look at the way some people live, even despite having health issues, and wonder where the justice is, but of course there are many examples of people who have led healthy lifestyles but still been beset by misfortune, for example Julia Bradbury lately. I have to be honest I have more sympathy for people like them than those who may have been a bit less aware or bothered about their health, but that doesn't mean I still sympathise with anyone in this crap club. that no body wanted to join. But I have managed to channel these feeling into changing my diet hugely, and if I can do it so can you. Believe me being a big "foodie" nobody but nobody loved their cheese, lamb stews and cream teas more then me, but they are all now history. Just think of it as if there was only a certain amount of that food available to you and now the larder is empty. My wife and I regularly go out to eat but there are many places now that offer both vegetarian and pescatarian menu's that are fantastic. What you need to do is just draw a line and get it into your head that your are now on your second life - you might not get a third, or if you do it might be badly compromised. You have not been fixed (as you mentioned), you have been patched up and made able to adapt to life as someone who will always have CHD. I know it is only natural to be afraid and let the anxiety take over, everybody feels like this, which is something I think some people do not realise. Every time I put on my running shoes or get in the pool I feel nervous as hell as the little gremlin on my shoulder tells me this might be the day I get another ride in the yellow bus, even to the point that I have almost not gone ahead, but I know that in reality I will be fine and there are probably loads of people doing run that have the same problem as I have/had, they just don't know it yet, at least you are on the radar. Trust me, once you get into some proper exercise, you will start to enjoy the feeling you get afterwards in so many ways - it's bloody tough at the start especially if you are carrying excess weight, but it will get easier if you stick with it. There are always loads of people at my local parkrun that just walk or slow jog round, it is a great social way to exercise and I seriously recommend you give it a go or do the couch to 5K first. I think there is a dedicated C25K forum on here actually.
Anyway good luck, as I think you know there are only 2 options available to you in reality.
It is inspiring to hear how you changed your eating and exercise patterns. A year later and I still have to work on that. Besides the heart stuff I have back problems and it is painful to walk. Recently I got myself a cross country e-cycle and now feel like I have a new pair of legs. I get to go places that I had given up on but now I can follow bike trails over the South Downs where I live, take in views and enjoy the outdoors. Its odd how I can ride e-cycle but can't walk more than 50yards without extreme pain and breathlessness. Reading what you write taps into a whole area of resistance in me to accept the changes I need to make personally for my health, grateful for your reminder heart opp is a patch not a fix
Brilliant. I used to do quite a bit of cycling before the advent of "E" bikes, and I think they must be fantastic for people to be able to do as much as they can and have the back up available. I accept I have been very lucky to a degree (if you can call it that) in so much as my "patch" has worked very well up to now and I have only had a couple of wobbly moments when I have probably pushed myself too hard. As you say it is great to get out in the fresh air and do as much as you can, I have not bothered with cycling again but most places now have great trials and off road paths and the advent of E bikes brings them all into many peoples reach.
There are not too many like us and you are right sympathy is often counterproductive, how does it help. What people on this forum need is reality and if you don't look after your body it will fail you. Heart disease isn't something that happens overnight, for most it is a process of long term abuse.
HiI seem to be in a similar situation bir well done on the exercise. I lost half a stone initially could not eat due to medication. Feeling apprehensive when I exercise trying to accept and move on.
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