Anyone dealing with an end of life diagnosis?

Waiting for my 5th valve replacement and my recent angiogram showed significant disease and hardening of the arteries. So, no updates yet from the hospital (it’s been three weeks since the angiogram) but I’ve had enough surgery now to know that my 5th one is not a foregone conclusion which if it can’t be done, means only one thing. I know you’ll all say wait to hear but I’m struggling with that wait and feel I need to prepare myself in case the response is not positive. Anyone else going through this and any tips to calm me down a bit? I’m only early 50s and if I tell any friends or family that I could be close to the end of my life, they tell me to stop being silly, of course I’m not. They just don’t know how worrying this is and that my results are not great. Of course, it could be fine and I’ll get the surgery, but I’d rather prepare for the worse and hope for the best

Thanks all for letting me rant. Feel slightly better already getting that off my chest!

[Chappychap]

"my recent angiogram showed significant disease and hardening of the arteries"

Is your concern mainly about your heart valves or your heart arteries? I don't want to sound cavalier, but actually you can function pretty well with very high levels of arterial occlusion, indeed many people (myself included) were north of 90% blockage before experiencing even the first twinges of angina. So just because the angiogram appears gloomy doesn't automatically mean the end is close, you may well have many years of life ahead of you. Furthermore, even though is atherosclerosis is incurable, if you can identify the main life-style drivers of your cardio vascular disease and change them accordingly, then you may be able to slow the progress of the disease to an absolute crawl.

Good luck!

[Hidden in reply to Chappychap]

Thanks Chappy, knew you’d cheer me up. I think my issue here is that as it is my 5th valve replacement, I don’t want the disease in my arteries to make them wonder whether it is worth the effort of replacing my valve as they have already told me the surgery might not be possible and will be very risky. Don’t want this to be the deciding factor. I’m probably panicking unnecessarily but it’s just playing on my mind, hence the reason I’m posting on here. There’s always someone to pick you up on here. Thanks for your support

[Bonnie58 in reply to Hidden]

Am sorry you are having such a worrying time. I can't offer any advice medically but it is good you have reached out.It is hard to burden family sometimes, maybe a phone chat with nurse specialist at BHF might also help?

[Hatchjd in reply to Chappychap]

My father in law had a valve replacement and bypass at the same time at age 81. He died at 91 of kidney disease. It is common to correct both problems at the same time if needed.

[Barbara72]

Five years ago a doctor stood beside my bed in our local hospital and said, “I hope you have things in order. Your illness is potentially fatal”. (It was endocarditis, infection of the heart valves, and I already had heart failure and dilated cardiomyopathy)

I kept my upper lip stiff and rang my husband whereupon I burst into tears and told him the prognosis. “Potentially fatal? So is crossing the road”.

Listen to friends when they say positive things. They may be wrong, but at least it lifts your mood.

I’ve been as well as possible ever since and hope you will be too in twenty years. Good luck.

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday, and everything is ok.