My husband has a CA April 19 ( l didCPR) & these last few years have been very difficult as he has no memory of the event. He still very angry about it all and needs to talk to somebody about everything! He’s gone back to his old ways of drinking and l suspect smoking ( though hiding this) . I’m at my whits and as to how to help him.
Can anybody offer advice of where l can go and get him help? He did have a couple of sessions with a councillor organised by the doctor but they said they weren’t right for him.😞.
Would appreciate any advice and guidance of what to do now. Thank you
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Asscher
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Hi, I had a cardiac arrest 2 years ago and have found SCA.UK to be very helpful both with information and also support from the Facebook group.They are part of the SADS charity which I think is where you can find them on the Internet and they do also have a support group for partners and those who have given CPR.
It is tough for all involved and effects different people in different ways and also seems to be harder for those out for longer periods.
Yes I was a member of the SCA when he first had it and he wouldn't engage with it after a while when people talked about their problems he just wants answers not hearing about other possible issues, my problem is after this time he doesn't want to talk about it.
Please dont neglect yourself in the midst of coping with your husbands all too real issues, you cant go on in this way and need to take care of yourself too. Its all too easy to be consumed with someone's problems to the detriment of your own health. Perhaps some counselling for yourself may be helpful so you can deal with your husbands state of mind without going under yourself with the weight of it. I hope you are able to get some time out for yourself.
With regard to your husband could you ring the BHF to see if they can connecf you with local help for both your husband and yourself be it a support group, mental health support or respite care. Good luck.
Thank you I am realising I need to try and not for it to become just my world....COIVD hasn't helped any of us has it? Yes I will try and ring BHF, do you know if you are able to connect the team form the hospital who initially helped with rehab as that seems to just disappear and no further checks done?.
I suspect your husband will have been released back to his GP assuming you are in the uk so i think you would need to be refereed back in to the original hospital team. Worth a call to the original team though, they may be able to advise you. Good luck.
Hi Asscher, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I had a SCA at home in 2014. My son gave me CPR. I was on life support for 9 days and in hospital for a month. My son was christened a week before and I have no memory of that and only remember about the last 2 weeks in hospital. I understand your husbands frustration but we all deal with it in different ways. He really does need to get some help, I was diagnosed with PTSD 2 years ago and I started EMDR therapy, this has helped. You can't forget you as well, you have been through so much. Maybe you could both find therapy a help. He has got to want to do it hun. Please look after yourself. My thoughts are with you x
Sorry to hear about your journey and it sounds very similar to my husband's, with time in ICU and no memory of about 2 + weeks. Did you go to the doctors re PTSD diagnosis? I fear he doesn't want to know anything about it now, and having 2 boys (14/18) I just worry for them losing their Dad too early as I just think its going to happen again...
I was diagnosed with PTSD after an event. I woke up one night and didn't feel right then my ICD shocked me, by the time I got to the top of the stairs it had shocked me 2 more times. My little boys dad rang an ambulance. While in hospital they said I needed a different machine fitted and I would have to go to the hospital at Blackpool where I was transfered to after my SCA. That's when I lost it and went to pieces. The psychologist at Blackpool said I had locked away everything that happened and it had all now hit me. X
Hi, my CA was Sept 18 and I have no memory of the event , a couple of days prior and nearly 2 weeks after as was in coma in Harefield. I suspect he doesn't want counselling as it should be helpful to all those who have suffered. Why not go with him as you are both affectedGood luck
Do you actually have any experience of sca or heart problems? You clearly have no idea of the problems of denial associated with heart conditions. Your flippant answers are not helpful.
Hi Milkfairy. The issue of denial after heart events is an interesting one. Those of us in denial do not need to be reminded of the occasion, we know only too well what happened. What we do need to do is ACCEPT what happened and that is totally different. As this is one of my main issues I have been looking at ACT therapy (acceptance and commitment therapy) recently. X
Hi Nettakin, that interesting what you say as sounds like your similar to my husband and not thought of it that way, i try to leave him be but it doesn't change...i'll look at ACT therapy. thank you
Hi Asscher. So sorry to hear of your husband's on going struggles. I fully understand your husband's approach of denial, I took that path too. I'm still a work in progress on that front and am currently looking at ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) for some guidance. Perhaps you would both benefit from talking to your GP about how you move forward. Self destructive behaviour in the form of drinking and smoking is not only awful for heart health, but another aspect of denial. As others have said, you also need to look after yourself, as you no doubt remember everything about what happened. With very best wishes to you both. X
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