Covid

[Yass_123]

Hi everyone as I posted last time my hus died on Xmas day after reading how covid affected my everyone it keeps goin thru my head that my hus abroad mayb shouldn't have gone to the hospital he didn't have a cough but his fingernails started turn blue he couldn't find sentences so I told him to go to a hos I never heard from him again and the communication with the hospitalwas bad I wasn't able to get any info I keep telling myself if didn't go to th hosp he may have survived im so sad 😢 I don't think I shall get over his death and blame myself this covid has destroyed many lives not only with the illness but mentally I know whatever happened abroad I cannot bring him bk to life but I feel so lost

[Milkfairy Heart Star]

Hello Yass

I am so sorry for your loss.

Covid is indeed casting along shadow over us all.

Are you aware of CRUSE? They provide support for people who have lost someone close to them.

I hope they can help you.

cruse.org.uk/

[Yass_123 in reply to Milkfairy]

Thank you

[lettingoffsteam]

I agree with Milkfairy .I work with Cruse and I suggest you ring the national helpline on 0808 808 1677 open 9:30-5 tomorrow. You can find some support with this.Take care.

[Yass_123 in reply to lettingoffsteam]

Thank you ill try to tx rather than speak on phone

[lettingoffsteam in reply to Yass_123]

Of course, hope you get some support.

[GracieOS]

I'm so sorry. I can't really say anymore, just thinking of you.

[Tessie28]

So sorry for your loss. You can't blame yourself, you did the best for him. I hope you get some help. xxx

[Brandibell]

Big Hugs.. you are grieving and it is part of it. Keep talking don't bottle it up. Maybe go to your GP if you are really struggling.

[Alison_L]

Oh Yass, I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself; it sounds as though he really needed to be in hospital, so you were right to get him to go there xx

[Mallowme]

“What if...’ are the two most useless words we all utter. You did the best you could at a very difficult time. Telling him to go to hospital could have been the right thing to do and there is no proof that if he didn’t go he would have been ok and you would have been saying you should have told him to go to hospital.

We beat ourselves up over the what ifs.

You have to keep asking yourself how he would feel about you blaming yourself. I’m sure he loved you and wouldn’t have wanted you to keep suffering.

Remind yourself of his love and happier times to help you endure and in time the hurt will become more bearable.

Sending you hugs. Xxx

[Qualipop]

What a dreadful thing to happen making your grief even worse. HOwever you mention one very telling thing "His nails were turning blue. That means his oxygen levels were already extremely low so he certainly didn't catch it in hospital or become any worse because of being there. You telling him to go made no difference at all and was the best advice you could have given. It's normal after losing someone to try to point blame ( often at your self) or the hospital). It's a natural part of the grieving process but I'm sure no matter what he did, the outcome would have been the same. I am so sorry. Please do contact Cruise and speak to them rather than texting. Don't worry if you are afraid of crying; they hear it day after day

[Kimkat]

So sorry for your loss, I hope you find comfort with CRUSE I have heard that it is excellent. Take care of yourself x

[Shar28]

So sorry for your loss. I hope you manage to find peace.

[Fluffybee]

Hi Yas

I cannot imagine what you’re going through right now, so much will be going through your mind, I know I’ve been there but not with covid..

I think one of many things that are so hard is not being able to be with them, getting messages through someone else doesn’t satisfy knowing what’s going on.

I couldn’t see my Dad during covid and he died in a care home.

Talking it through with someone anonymous helps more in someways, I hope you can get comfort talking things through with CRUISE.

Thinking of you 🤗🤗

[Hidden]

Yass, I really feel for you and l am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Please don't blame yourself. It must have been dreadful for you. I feel your husband needed to be admitted. It sounds like his oxygen levels had fallen low. You have suffered so much. Contact Cruse Yass. Thinking of you.

[080311]

So very sorry for your loss, when we lose someone we all ask the same questions, “what if. “ you have no need to blame yourself, he needed to be in hospital with his fingernails turning blue, it’s a lack of oxygen. As others have said contact CRUSE they will help you through this very difficult time.

My thoughts are with you

Pauline

[istimewa]

Yass - I am very sorry for your loss, and have a good idea how you may be feeling right now. And although nobody can bring your husband back, I can vouch for the help that Cruse can give in bereavement. I have been lucky to receive exactly such help from Cruse after my partner died. Cruse offered me several sessions with 1 of their counsellors and she really helped me deeply. I was like you, really distressed and beating myself up mad with so much "what if" guilt, but the counsellor helped me through the many months of blackness that I went through, guiding me all the way. The counsellor helped me find my own healing. It didn't cost me any money at the time. You should avail yourself of the kind help that Cruse can provide in this difficult time, Yass. Don't just suffer alone please. cruse.org.uk/

08088081677