Delayed heart surgery trauma?

[Heartchild]

Hello, I'm new here!

I had open heart surgery at 10 years old (I'm now 21) and had my sternum wires removed 3 years ago.

Recently I have been having really bad health anxiety - worrying about my general health and death/dying. I cannot comprehend the fact that I ever had heart surgery and the thought of having to be put under anesthetic again in the future terrifies me. I never used to worry about this but I have become obsessed recently. There have been no changes in my health - other than a slight leaky valve my heart is healthy.

I don't think the coronavirus situation and the emphasis on health etc in the news has helped.

I am due to start counselling soon, but I was wondering if anyone else/anyone else's child has experienced trauma years after an operation? Or has experienced any similar worries/situations? Thanks!

[Honeybee1961]

Hello Heartchild, I had emergency open heart surgery recently in my 50s, and feel traumatised by the experience, so I think it is very understandable that you might feel traumatised by going through this surgery at such a very young age. It is also common that people who have suffered trauma of various types might not feel the effects of this for many years, often if the memories are triggered by a subsequent experience, so as you have suggested, a situation like the current pandemic could provide a trigger. It’s good that you have some counselling coming up, I hope it helps you find some resolution to all that your have been going through.

[Athena-Heinrich]

Hello - I had emergency heart surgery much older and its all been a terrible shock. I'm not surprised if you suddenly find yourself thinking about it now you're maturing. As a child (hopefully) you were given lots of reassurance and maybe the whole process was quite different. I heard a singer, performer, director in his 40's or 50's now in a french interview (here in France) who talked about how his very serious open heart surgery age 8 had marked and changed him and his life. Lovely person - known as being very real, modest and natural . I'm sure you understand some things that other people of your age just dont and that you are very special. (Which doesnt always make things easier !) Also - I was in a bra shop of all places (had a problem with bras since surgery) and it turned out the lady who made the bras had had open heart surgery age 10 ! Now - she was in her late 60's ! Very best wishes whooshing towards you and bon courage (the word courage comes from coeur - heart) as they say in France .