Help: I need help, Is there any... - British Heart Fou...

British Heart Foundation
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I need help,

Is there any support for partners at all, hubby had a heart attack then triple bypass.

I don't know the best way to help him

14 Replies

Perhaps you could ring the BHF helpline (the number is on the website) plus, their website has a wealth of information, but do try the helpline to speak to an expert. X

MichaelJHHeart Star

Hello and welcome to the forum! I think it might help if you could provide some more detail. How long ago was the bypass, has he done rehab, what are the ongoing issues, etc. This will help others formulate responses.

The suggestion to ring the BHF helpline is an excellent one.

Seramog in reply to MichaelJH


Bypass was 10 days ago and nothing from rehab.

Just given his tablets and discharged from hospital 4 days after op

MichaelJHHeart Star in reply to Seramog

It is still very early days. Apart from a couple of short walks each day (building up slowly) no other exercise is necessary at the moment. The breastbone takes a while to heal and he should be lifting nothing heavier than a half kettle of water and not pushing himself up with his arms.

You can definitely leave him for an hour or two at this stage (it helps to regain confidence) and be able to return to work at two weeks. He is still a few weeks away from rehab but it is worth a phone call as it is easy to get lost in the system.

Some people are quite emotional afterwards and if this doesn't start settling ring your GP for advice. At the rehab group they were able to refer some people for counselling.

Good luck!

Hi, I haven’t had heart attack but had aortic valve replaced and bypass. From my point of view I just needed someone to be there. Your husbands emotions will be all over the place he will be wondering how this could happen. Be there listen, he needs to take baby steps to start with, and then when the time is right go to cardio rehab, I found it invaluable, helps get your stamina back but also your confidence. Mixing with other people who have had similar experiences really helped with my mental health. Hearing others say they have the same aches and pains you think ok that’s normal. You are his back up, I am nearly 4 years on from my surgery and my life is good, but tell your husband baby steps and things will get better.

Best wishes to you both Pauline

I have a triple a couple of just over a couple of years ago. I found this site invaluable in the early days - lots of questions. If you have a question, you can post it on here and people will respond. I didn't really have any support per se once out of hospital, excluding that supplied by my wife of course.

You can join him at rehab if he attends or contact the rehab clinic and they will definitely help you. Good luck be supportive and you both will be fine

Seramog in reply to gilreid1

Hes not at rehab yet and I go back to work before it starts

gilreid1 in reply to Seramog

Call you cardio nurse at local health centre I am sure they will offer advice. Be positive and all will be well. Good luck try not to worry

Seramog in reply to gilreid1

We dont know who that is or cardiac rehab either

Hi. Its tough being a patient but it’s tough being a partner too, just in a different way. My husband has Dilated Cardiomyopathy and needed his Aortic Valves replacing, so had open heart surgery. I found it scary and coped by reading everything from the hospital and BHF and I spoke with the BHF nurses when I had questions too. They are wonderful.

In my case, the support my husband wanted was someone to help him in the shower in the early days and keep a general eye on him to stop him doing too much. Emotions were up and down for both of us but especially him, courtesy of opiates, anaesthetic, being cooped up, getting over the anxiety of the surgery etc.

Rehab isn’t available in our area unless you have a bypass and AVR and as he “only” had an AVR he couldn’t get a place despite being referred for it. But if your partner gets the opportunity I’d suggest he goes.

Also, ask your HP for a referral for counselling if you’re feeling down about it all. I found it really helped.

All the best to both of you.

Hi thanks for the replys, I work in surgical theatre so I know the whole surgical pre and post op procedures, and weirdly the whole op he had done.

I just feel that we haven't been told anything, just literally given tablets a little booklet and discharged, told to see gp in 2 weeks.

Not much use to anyone really

gilreid1 in reply to Seramog

That’s not right. Check his discharge note from hospital it should have details of follow on notes. Your GP or nurses should have contacted your husband within about three or four days after he was home. Surely he has had his wounds checked since he got home. I would call your GP and seek urgent advice.

Seramog in reply to gilreid1

Not seeing GP til next week as that what discharge notes said, only had drain sutures out with GPs HCA and she tried to open his chest wound til we both shouted no xx

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