When to say "enough is enough"

[Becksagogo]

After a lifetime of ill health including three different types of cancer, last year I was diagnosed with heart failure and had my Aortic valve replaced and Mitral valve repaired. I also had a pacemaker fitted. Unfortunately it did not help with the breathlessness although I have been able to return to work and led a reasonable life with a few adjustments.

This year I had my Mitral valve replaced and again have just returned to work. The breathlessness hasn't improved and consequently my lifestyle has changed enormously as I am unable to do half the things I used to do and have to "plan" everything in advance. Even changing the bed sheets is a half hour job!

My confidence is at an all time low and I am depressed.

Yesterday I got a letter from my Consultant who is concerned that the breathlessness may be connected to the Tricuspid valve but there is an option of percutaneous intervention and he is awaiting results of an Ultra Sound test carried out on Monday.

My question is "When do I just say enough is enough. No more". I am 64 years old, live alone and am very independent.

I spend half my life between hospitals and whilst I am grateful for all the medical intervention part of me just wants to say no more.

Is this normal?

[willsie01]

It most certainly is normal to have negative thoughts at the difficulties life can throw at us. It is possible to devise a strategy to cope and overcome them. Seek counselling and advice from people you trust. I’m 71 and struggle to make the bed, which is usually my job these days post retirement, because of back problems. Admittedly, it doesn’t take anywhere near as long as for you but long enough to make it frustrating. Good luck with your issues.

[cowparsley]

You`ve been so strong,so brave,I don`t blame you for having those negative thoughts after your latest worry but don`t give in to them now after all you`ve been through.Like you, I`m on my own,independent (and stubborn) and find it very difficult to ask for help or open up about my true feelings but please,please,please see your GP,tell him you`re at the end of your strength and need help and hopefully he will be sympathetic and suggest counselling or a short term of anti depressants.Be very proud of yourself for coming so far against all odds and try and find the small things in life you still can enjoy.My very best wishes to you xx

[Prada47]

Not Yet your still a youngster and as long as you feel you can cope physically with interventions Take Them

I have had a PCI at 70 and it has made a difference. I am now on Entresto which I believe is easing breathlessness a little. Like you I have had a couple of quite serious health scares Heart Attack, Parotid Gland removal, Brain Bleed, Coronary Artery By pass surgery and Stents. I would still take any interventions offered !!. My best friend is just starting to learn to sail and he is 74 so in a couple of years when he is good at sailing he will be 76 which in this day and age is not old.

I was once told this getting Old is not for Sissy's and it's very true LOL

[Becksagogo]

Oh bless you. Thank you for your positive thoughts. I've never been a quitter but there are days like today when I think I can't take anymore.

I have the rugby to look forward to in the morning and the sun is forecast to shine at the weekend so hopefully my mood will be much improved.

Take care and thank you again. X

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

I think the grey wet weather we have had nearly continuously for the last fortnight doesn't help. Do you have a pet? They are so uncomplicated compared to humans they cheer you up and make your day. If you haven't got room for a cat or dog a hamster can amuse you! I enjoyed the geese yesterday!

[Becksagogo in reply to MichaelJH]

I think you are right Michael. The weather is very depressing and doesn't help to lift your mood.

Unfortunately I am working full time still and although I am desperate to have a dog it would be grossly unfair. I also seem to spend a lot of time in and out of hospitals having tests and little procedures so don't have the time to devote to a living creature.

I'm looking forward to retirement in two years so that I can rescue an older dog; fingers crossed my health permits it.

Thank you for your kind comments.

[Sarahd56 in reply to Becksagogo]

There you go! You are looking FORWARD to retirement in two years time!! You have a rescue dog to look after then! Xxx

[Hidden]

I wouldn’t worry about the aortic valve replacement. It is now a routine procedure. I have a bicuspid aortic valve and will probably have it replaced in a few years.

Heart Failure is a frightening way to describe our illness and I think it should be revised.

You are a fighter. Keep fighting!

“If you are going through hell keep going”

Good luck

[Hidden]

The site would not allow me to correct my post. You didn't have an aortic valve replacement. That was a mistake.

Ask your hospital about a support group.