Mother in end stage chf in hospice care

[nymima01]

My mother is 93 yrs old and just admitted to Hospice care 2 weeks ago. She was in failing health when it was determined that she should go on hospice, and now 2 weeks later she is a bit better. She has a cna who comes in once a day and gets her lunch and also an LPN who comes in every morning to do her vitals and checks her meds. I do some things too and this has helped me out considerably. She is very sob, and has a tachy heart and arrhythmia almost all the time now. Her valves are in moderate to severe status.

I am amazed that she still has a pretty good appetite. Some days, not so good, but for the most part, she enjoys her meals. Is this normal for a patient on Hospice to still be interested in food? I don’t want to wish anything on my mother, but how does Hospice view this? I’m a mixture of emotions.

[ling]

I would think it can be different for everyone. The fact that she still has a good appetite is a good sign. I would be very happy if that were my mom at 93. My mother's 84 and due for a pacemaker soon. She has a very good appetite. That has kept her in good physical condition.

I wish your mother well. Best wishes

[Kristin1812 Heart Star]

They’ve made her comfy, which is their job. Excellent.

[Susieque21]

Hi, not totally sure I'm on the right track here, but just wanted to mention, hospice care isn't necessarily always end of life care and they do also obviously provide respite but also to build patients up to go back home too. My best wishes to you and your Mum ~ enjoy.

[nymima01]

I just don’t want to lose whatever care they provide. I have been my mother’s caretaker for over 7 yrs now and it is getting very difficult for me to be there 24/7 for her. This bit of help is so important. I have cancer that I have treated for, and I have anxiety about losing the help.

[ling in reply to nymima01]

I know where u are coming from and deeply empathise.

This is my biggest fear for my mother as well. And as my body craps on me, the worry and anxiety over who will look after her, eats away at me. I have no solution at present but one thing is clear - the anxiety unchecked will take me down first.

[nymima01 in reply to ling]

The anxiety is huge! The smallest things are big things and having these wonderful people to help us through this part of the journey makes me want to pinch myself to make sure it’s real!

My mother is blind too and every agency for the blind I have contacted and every volunteer who has come out to visit with her or take her out for an hour or two, she has cancelled them! I loved that she had someone else besides me to spend an hour with, but she had no use for them. So naturally, although her health is poor in every other aspect now, except eating, I am afraid she will tell them all to leave and if they have no reason to stay, then all this will be gone. Much still falls on me, but for me, the help is huge! It’s what will come in the next few months that I will really need them and she will really need them.

On another note, my husband says that he doesn’t want to discuss death anymore when we are not looking death in the face. I don’t blame him.

[ling in reply to nymima01]

Have you tried checking with the hospice about letting her stay on? Or you're worried they'll tell you something u don't want to hear? I would be too!

Is it possible for your mother to go to a nursing home if she discharges from hospice care?

[nymima01]

She is still under Hospice care. I believe she really needs it. She does too. But she gets in these moods where she thinks she is doing better and that is when I worry. Past patterns of her canceling out on really great volunteers over these passed several years and then wishing she had someone who would come visit. It’s been difficult. My fears are well founded that she will write Hospice off. They consider her to be of sound mind thus far. So I don’t know if they would leave per her wishes or not. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself and my fears. It’s been a roller coaster ride.