Had 2x stents in 90% blocked LAD on 17 December (no heart attack). Went back to work on 2 Jan, flew to US for a work trip on 21 Jan. I coped pretty well.
Thought I was doing ok - but I’ve hit the wall now. Permanently tired and lacking drive. Scared not to work as it’s taken me 20’years to build a position in my company. But I think I need a break. It’s not a job I can half do - my dept has gone from 3 people in October, to just me now. Everyone at HR says the right things about putting myself first, but in reality i still feel overloaded. No evidence they can do anything to give me practical help.
Not sure if I’m emotionally spent, or physically struggling. I’ve a son at uni and a 16 year old daughter doing GCSEs. I feel very responsible for both of them - don’t want to let them down. I do have an amazing partner who does everything she can to help.
Scared that the stent hasn’t fixed me - I’ve not pushed hard enough to really know. I do get back pain, but no idea if it’s cardiac or muscular (been down that road before). I’ve still got one narrowed artery they didn’t want to stent until they knew if there were symptoms. I’ll find out within the next month.
Just said goodbye to my son (back to uni) and flying to Scotland for a meeting today. Can barely keep my eyes open.