So I’ve been back since Jan - after 2 stents in my LAD. I’m not really back to anything like full speed / resilience. Realise now that I lived on my nerves a bit before - used stress as energy. I’ve worked at my company over 20 years - always had good feedback and was promoted right upto last year.
I feel less than half of what I was. Meantime my dept of 3 has become just me. One made redundant just before my Angina. The other resigned.
Company has decided not to replace them. So I’ve been trying to get back to work and deal with lots of new job stresses. If I’m honest - I could barely do the job I had. New one is much harder and stressing me out. I can barely get out of bed in the mornings.
Can’t walk out - I’m only 47 and have too many responsibilities. Boy at uni, daughter in GCSEs, mortgage to pay. Pension not nearly topped up enough.
No idea what to do. Ive told work and they tell me to take it easier. But no one can slow / stop the emails,’demands coming at me. Feels like they’re saying the right thing - with no plan.
Any advice welcome.
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DavidG1971
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Frankly the way your company has behaved you owe them nothing. On the other hand you owe your family and your health everything. Go to your GP explain your work situation and get signed off for 4 weeks. Take it easy and consider your future and your finances. There is always another way forward.
David. This sounds v difficult for you. You need to get your strength back. Do you belong to a Union? They will help you approach the company so the job is better fitted to you and your health issues, as you return to work.
If you don’t, contact CAB or read it up yourself and speak to HR. Any company has obligations, but I can’t advise you with up to date facts.
It will probably help to speak to someone. With some people (obviously not me of course) the shock of what happened leaves a form of PTSD and it will help working through things that your subconscious maybe doing to your head, There are well being centers and independent trauma councilors that your doc maybe able to recommend and they are not expensive.
Also, I had to finish work early due to severe angina type symptoms that were diagnosed as chronic fatigue (may still be - who knows!). I too had a mortgage to pay, but there are other options. I lived in Manchester and fortunately in a decent area. I moved to a market town 20 miles south and was able to cope financially whilst awaiting small pensions to kick in later on. Initially, I felt guilty moving my wife away (its only 40 min) and all the man stuff about having to look after people, but trust me, they would rather you be around.
There may also be some improvement in time from changes in medication, but you will have to push for that.
Hi, I had HA & stents in Sept at 43 & returned to work in Jan, which sounds good, but didn't have any communication from my work until Jan when I got a call saying, 'so your back then, can you do this'. As I'm in the same situation as you regarding responsibilities & having to work, waiting to see if I still had a job was horrible.
Since being back I've realised that I can't / do not want to do what I do. I feel slower, thought process mainly, but I think it is my brain protecting me from stress. I work from home, which means the temptations of long hours is there, but I haven't the energy to do it anymore, so workload is already increasing.
So, I have had to decide on a what's next strategy, with my wife's agreement. So we have decided to cut all outgoings & live a simpler life, so I can at some point cut my income. Now we are going to extremes, we are looking to move to a cheap area of the country, where our equity will go further. I will keep in my job for as long as possible & when needed step back into a more junior role.
It's not easy, my wife is currently travelling up north for interviews & logistics are stressful, but we both agree it is a far better solution for our financial security. If it all works out then great, if it doesn't then it can be worse than our current situation of worrying about paying bills if one of us is out of work.
So I guess my advice would be, think about what you need to do, talk with those closest & come up with a plan. If the best solution is to stay in your job, then just play the employment law game, keep all emails etc, build a unfair dismissal case, whether you need it or not & if you need to leave make sure it's on your terms & get a big enough pay off to help. Never feel ashamed or loyalty to your work, as they will never show you the same. With your length of service, it will hopefully be a fairly healthy settlement agreement. Sorry to be blunt, but time for you to be a little selfish.
Thanks. I seem to find the flaw in every plan. I managed to split up with my children’s mum several years ago - but kids stayed living with me. We downsized then to release some cash for their mum. Would be hard to find a cheaper place than the one I have now. Seem a bit trapped from all sides. A decent payout would help. - but i probably still need 5 years decent pay rather than 1. Maybe there’s a simpler job out there. I dream of being a postman! Up out, get it done and home with no thoughts about next day....let alone next month, year etc.
You will need to get special winter shorts remember!
Clerkenweller has the right approach. Go to the doctor and lay it on thick, get signed off for a month - then another month. You have to play these people at their own game, they obviously care little for you by the sound of it. Then take stock and see what options you have - you HAVE to start taking it easier or you will end up totally useless to your family, or worse. There are very often options, downsizing, reducing your expenditure in other ways - you obviously can't carry on like this can you? With a bit of luck they might offer you a decent redundancy package if you keep going off sick?
Lots of advice which shows how very common this is but to some extent we get trapped in the system which is really geared up to patching us back together and sending us back out to work. Even the BHF guidelines talk about work being part of the recovery.... I guess it can be but we don’t all get there at the same time. All of us have a sense of duty and respondsibility and it doesn’t always sit comfortably asking for time off from the GP - I have found that incredibly stressful on top of the stress I already had.
I have been off over 4 months after having a stent fitted, the shock and medication hit me hard, I also have other medical conditions and at 60 have asked for early retirement or redundancy - a resounding NO. I think despite our thoughts and suggestions each situation is unique - don’t replace one set of stresses for another. I do think counselling (maybe life coaching) might help you make sense of your thoughts and bring some order. It is still early days, the shock hasn’t faded and you do questions what it’s all about/for.
Take some comfort in how common this is and then bite sized approach to coming up with a solution - coaching, counselling, possible apprentice etc.
I’d like to try the Cognitive Therapy - try and rewire my brain somehow. I think the real solution might require a bigger decision than I’m brave enough to make. I love parts of my job though. Just feel like burying myself away from it at the moment.
I completely get that - you do re-evaluate life and your priorities and it’s really difficult to free yourself from the anxiety, which exists even if subconsciously. EMDR was recommended to me as a tool to help manage what has been a trauma - it might be worth exploring
DavidG1971, understandably anxious these work/life/family situations. And around the work situation, it feels like you are the only one with heart problems, with your friends and colleagues going about their business like the world owes them nothing plus so many things to do and think about it can make you somewhat depressed, anxious and very alone. With your work, is it a physical job or more sedentary or desk/computer type work? If it’s a physical one, then that needs some thought whether you can cope with the physically strenuous demands it may bring and the older you are the more a problem that would be and if you have other health problems that could interfere. If it’s desk work, then that is a mental stress and much less physical stress by the sound of what you say, emails, boss, etc... etc... (drink more coffee😅)
The family/life situ is more a personal one for you and that in itself is very stressful and what damage that can do to your health only the individual can deal with that and I’m sure there are many here and not on the forum that are in a similar position as yourself. I wish you luck in finding an all-round resolute solution.
Work maybe stressful, but not half as stressful as trying to live on what you would get from the State (tax payers) at your age. Did you manage rehab OK ?? Is it possible it's your meds causing you to feel everything is getting on top of you ?? Mentally getting over Heart Problems takes time, but work is sometimes a help rather than a hinderance. A lot also depends on how big the organisation is that you work for, like do they have an H R department who you can talk to ?? Small companies do have difficulty in finding something else for employees to do when they can no longer do their job. All this sounds negative but personally I had a Heart Attack in 1982 aged 34 and worked until 2004 just my career took a different path to the one I had back in 1982. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not a train coming in your direction. Stay positive and it will all work out in the end.
Thanks - I do think I might be self sabotaging a decent career / salary. I’ve always struggled with work stress - tiredness and shock of all this probably making it worse. We’re middle sized and have HR - but company is struggljng a bit, so can’t carry people. I guess that’s how they see it.
Your body is telling you to slow down if you don't the next thing could be in a wooden box your stents will take about 3 months before you feel the difference I had 3 in June and 3 months later started back at the gym 3 days a week which is not bad for a 70 year old please don't cock up the work the surgeon's done good health is better than all the money in the world what good is money if your waiting for a heart transplant. You ho it to you family to stay healthy because without them what have you got
I'll try to offer some constructive advice on how to on how to get your managers to take the situation seriously and not bury their heads in the sand. I have had a major HA in the past and I have ongoing stable angina. I also suffer from work related stress and have to be aware of evolving stress inducing situations at work. First, stress is a personal condition - what some people would considers as perfectly acceptable can be a source of horror for others causing physical and psychological effects. Unfortunately in the vast majority of today's work situations some degree of stress is unavoidable.
My experience is that bosses mostly just want an easy life and without hard evidence of a unacceptable workload then they are unlikely to change anything. With an undocumented vague problem of a 'stressful workload' it is easily side stepped. So from a practical sense you should think about putting together documentary evidence and present it to your bosses so that it cannot be ignored. This doesn't have to be confrontational, your bosses are perhaps too busy to think deeper about the situation - so you need to help them!
Some tips you can consider:-
Keep a record of all the tasks your a being asked to complete and the time taken to complete each one perhaps over a week or a number of weeks.
Keep a count of the number of emails you receive and the time taken to provide a satisfactory response to each one. It this goes outwith your working time then there is a problem that needs resolved.
If the number of tasks/emails is so high that each one cannot completed to the level that you are satisfied with then that is another issue. This could be contributing to your stress. Perhaps a lower level of service needs to be agreed with your bosses as a lower level may be perfectly acceptable to your customers.
A reduction in your own working hours may be something to consider. This is a bit more drastic and obviously has ramifications to your personal situation but it will force your bosses to reconsider or split the workload for the job.
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