Letting off steam - could the professionals be more positive about people NOT DRINKING!

[Heartlady1]

HI All

So for those of you who have read my previous posts, you will be aware that nearly 2 years ago I got the diagnosis that my Heart Failure had worsened to Severe Heart Failure with an EF of 30%.

I immediately decided to become tee total at this point, to give my body and my heart the best chance to continue to function, and to NOT deteriorate. Although this decision was based at the time on my heart issues, I have since come to see it as a great lifestyle choice,

I love my new found energy, going out trying new drinks, mocktails, lime and soda and Fever tree tonics are amazing.... and I now NEVER have a hang over, whilst still having all the fun of the fair. AND my EF number has risen from 30% to 34%. so all good.

Now for my rant, when I have had to go to hospital on occasion I cant believe the comments I have received from nurses and ambulance crew, which really really frustrates me! The questions always asked are do you smoke "no" great, do you drink "no I am tee total" has been met by nurses with "poor you ,what you can never drink?"

or " surely you can have one or two, you are looking so well" or "can you no longer drink for the rest of your life, how dreadful".

Last weekend I ended up in an ambulance following a recent CRT D op, I was 2 days post op, and due to slight complications the surgeon wanted me back in to hospital. The ambulance paramedic on hearing I dont drink, said "not ever, not even one" when I said "no i am tee total" he replied " oh dear bet you are boring at a party!!"

For any professionals that may read this post, please please please see anyone who does not drink as a good thing, do not judge them badly for doing something that massively helps their heart to maintain its health, and actually, as with myself, is a life style choice now, and I am not boring or poor or sad because I no longer drink. I am happy, fun, and the reason I am looking so well, is in part because I look after my body.

I will say that every doctor that I have ever seen who asks me that question are just delighted to hear that I never drink. They see it as a real plus, (which it is) and I just wish that all other health professionals would embrace my choice in the same way, as a positive and healthy way to live ones life. Now I am not saying to anyone that they shouldnt drink, I am just saying that for anyone that decides not to, they should be encouraged, just another example of the drink culture in the UK.

I am a very happy proud none drinker, who is planning Christmas parties, dining events and theatre trips galore. So dont feel sorry for me, feel happy for me and my choice!

Moan over!

[MichaelJH Heart Star]

What I find more puzzling is the attitude to healthy eating. I have been told about healthy eating on numerous occasions by various medical staff and yet hospital food is usually dire and far from healthy. And many of the staff, in particular administration and nursing, have a far from healthy BMI!

[Zena166]

I agree totally. They should be congratulating us for abstaining rather than trying to persuade us to try a tipple! I don’t even drink tea or coffee either. Yes Michael going into hospital is always a challenge for getting any kind of nutritious food! Let alone a vegan option!! We live in strange times! Zena x

[Heartlady1 in reply to Zena166]

Hi Zena ... yes I too limit my tea to just two cups a day... and no coffee. So when I was an inpatient they must have offered me up to 6 teas/ coffees a day... but when i asked if they had a cold drink alternative they didn't. So I stuck to water.... but yes it did seem strange on a heart ward!

[Nanny72 in reply to Heartlady1]

Don't drink coffee but have two cups of decaffeinated or herbal tea a day. Apart from that I drink water

[Inamoment]

I don't drink and nobody in the nhs has ever said anything negative in any way ever. Maybe there is some sort of parallel universe going on here. Don't recall seeing a fat nurse eithef, plenty of fat patients. I have noticed paramedics have quite an advanced gallows sense of humour

[MichaelJH Heart Star in reply to Inamoment]

The number of nurses needing to lose weight seems to vary widely between hospitals. There are far more in local hospitals than specialist ones like orthopaedic and heart & lung. The local hospitals also seem to have more staff smoking around the back!

Talking of gallows humour one patient said he was halfway through "War and Peace" and what were the chances of him not finding out the ending?

[Hidden]

I have never had alcohol or taken drugs or anything damaging. I have a very healthy diet and do sport and have 8+ hours sleep a night. I’ve never felt the emotional need to have approval off anyone. The general public aren’t your parents and you’re not 5.

[RoyM]

Agree with Inamoment and The_bear 100%. On a personal basis I have never had any negative comments regarding being tee total. It's a personal life-style choice. If they did I wouldn't be offended what is after all just banter of a very innocent nature. I don't expect to be praised for what is a personal choice. It's a bit of fun...come on life isn't that serious and lets be honest we will never get out alive will we. Cheers (hic)

[Nanny72]

Good for you I spent four years completely teetotal. Now I will have an occasional alcoholic drink. I mean less than three or four times a year. Christmas and our birthdays and only ever one small glass of wine mixed with water.

It is family and friends who always try to push drinks on me.

The positive side for them is I am always the dedicated driver.

Not bothered by alcohol it was never a large part of my life.

Remain teetotal it is fun to see people at parties when they have 'had a few

However not drinking or smoking made no difference to me having to have a valve replacement

[Heartlady1]

I am glad that others have had a different experience to me and not had the comments that I have had. I just wanted to make the point that not drinking is not a bad thing and some people may have to stop drinking due to their condition and be feeling vulnerable.

No I am not 5 .... hence I have an opinion on how the answer to that question should be responded to. I am not after praise but I am also not expecting medical people to make the comments they have. It is a question that is often asked by the medical profession... and I just think a more positive response should be encouraged... or just put that tick in the box. But not to make negative comments which serves no good purpose.

I am not saying alcohol has led to my heart issues... it was a dodgy thyroid gland actually... I am just trying to look after myself best I can and have been rather shocked to have had the negative comments a number of times over last few months.

I do feel that some of others comments are suggesting I am at best lying and being over sensitive.... I do not lie and most of my posts are very positive and full of PMA and laughter... this is just something I do feel strongly about.

[Gordon99]

I actually get a perverse enjoyment from being in a pub or restaurant and when asked what I’d like to drink reply “what do you have that is non- alcoholic, low sugar, non fizzy, and low potassium?”.

The responses I get are widely different.

Last week I was at a gig in St. Jude’s in Glasgow and they had a drink , on tap, which was made with ginger and lemongrass. It was really refreshing.

Drinking is embedded in our culture and I’m often cajoled and attempts made to humiliate me into drinking but I find them hilarious. I usually mutter about not being a slave, bragging about how much tax I avoid by not drinking etc.

My perverse sense of humour gets me through. I suppose it’s how I get my rant out.

I have tremendous respect for anyone who doesn’t drink in this culture.

One last story. During a medical examination at work I was asked my definition of an alcoholic. Someone with a dependency on alcohol I replied. Nope, was the reply, it’s someone who drinks more than their doctor!

[Heartlady1 in reply to Gordon99]

Hi Gordon... that made me smile. And hey I have no issue with friends and general public not "getting" my new found teetotalness.... and I laugh it off with the rest. I guess I I have just been shocked at the professionals not " getting" it. But as you say it's about laughing it off and saying it's their problem not mine.

And I do have lovely friends that know I am daft as a brush and have many silly stories to regale them with... without needing a drink to start me off.

Like the time I was in Barcelona and hoping to happen upon a fiesta while there ( I have always wanted to be involved in one of these amazing and happy parties). I spied a group of people all dancing and singing so I rushed up to join in. Only to be pulled forward to have the honour of helping to hold up the " diety" along with 5 other people. It was only when looking upward that instead of holding some saint or the virgin Mary.. .. I was in fact holding up the most massive condom ever!!! I had not happened on a fiesta.. . But a demonstration about the closure of the local durex factory 😂😂😂

[clarehealsworldwide]

Well done Heartlady1. I also gave up alcohol to help my heart last year & feel much better for that. I love lime soda, apple cider vinegar & lemon + lime juice I make with the zest as well as the juice. I've also been losing weight with the Slimming World diet & so far lost 22lbs & hoping to lose a lot more to get my BMI below 25. Wishing you all the best. Clare

[Heartlady1 in reply to clarehealsworldwide]

Well done Clare... sounds like you are doing amazing. And yes another added bonus of mot drinking is the lower calorie intake. I have lost a stone in last 2 years!

I am experimenting with lots of different drinks... I am partial to an orange and lemonade... love my lime and sodas and the fever tree tonics are a nice change of an evening ( although can only drink one of an evening)

I have just discovered a lime and mint cordial that is sold in Tesco.... so refreshing!!

Well done for all your efforts to get fit. Sounds like you are getting there and feeling better for it great news. . Did you go to rehab? I found the exercise regime they gave me really helped me to get fit... I did laugh when they told me I had been walking all wrong lol. But they were fab... and having just had a further op I am now more prepared and know what I need to do to get back to fitness... so off out for a little walk round the block. Keep up the great work and all the very best karen xxx

[clarehealsworldwide in reply to Heartlady1]

Hi Karen. Yes I found rehab classes very helpful & I go to follow-up classes once or twice a week too. I also like to walk 5 miles a day & drink lots of herbal teas, including those with hibiscus which is supposed to reduce blood pressure. My BP came down so low my GP told me to stop taking my BP pills! I'm in North Yorkshire, so if you're nearby we could walk together. Keep smiling. Clare

[Heartlady1 in reply to clarehealsworldwide]

Aw bless thank you and would have been lovely to have a fellow hearties to walk with however ( altho I am a nortgenwr) I live down in Buckinghamshire now. My walking ritual is also currently only 3000 steps a day while I recuperate from my recent op... but long term plan is to get up to 10,000 steps a day.. as long as this pesky leaf stays in this time. Fingers crossed. I have to take things slowly for a further 4 weeks. They are wrapping me up in cotton wool for first 6 weeks ... but then will be back ramping things up to get to super fit 😁. Mind you 5 miles may be a bit more than I can do.. but we'll done you! That's fab going. X

[clarehealsworldwide in reply to Heartlady1]

Take it easy, don't push yourself, just do a few more steps each day. No rush. Xx

[Gordon99]

I got caught up in Chinese New Year celebrations in Malacca and found myself part of the dragon.

[Heartlady1 in reply to Gordon99]

See... I would have loved that! 😁

[Zena166 in reply to Gordon99]

The breathing fire end....?

[clarehealsworldwide in reply to Gordon99]

I loved Malacca when there in 1980s. I was living in Hong Kong & Singapore for 16 years & enjoyed all the Chinese festivals. Clare

[Routemaster]

My husband was in A&E last week - not heart-related - and the doctor asked if he drank. He said very seriously that he had had an occasional glass of cider during the very hot weather. She laughed and said that was not what she meant!

When I was in hospital for my heart failure one of the patients asked the visiting consultant if we needed to alter our diets. She looked round the ward, smiled and said that she was the only person who needed to alter her diet! That made us all laugh and we all felt better for her visit.

[Gordon99]

Unfortunately not!

[invictaAlec]

Heartlady1,

Your post got me thinking. While I cannot claim to be teetotal I am struggling to remember the last time I had an alcoholic drink. I think I may have had a Baileys last Christmas but it could have been the Christmas before Bottom line is I'm not a drinker, never have been and I really don't need to get legless to enjoy myself. What has always annoyed me is people who will not accept my refusal of an alcoholic drink. I'm quite happy to sip a lemonade at a party or whatever.

I've lost count of the number of times I was asked whether I'm a smoker during the last couple of months following my heart attack and subsequent triple bypass surgery. Sometimes its quite difficult to take the disapproving sneers you get as they tick the "yes" box on your form. Difficult to take since the person asking the question often was clearly overweight, maybe had a who-knows-what cholesterol score and possibly drank like a fish. Anyway, I digress. The point I wanted to make was that in all honesty I do not remember once being asked by any health professional whether I was a drinker!!!!

I do eat far too much cheese though. Good luck to you my dear.

Alec.

[CharlesL]

I thought that is was okay/beneficial to drink now.

C

[Heartlady1 in reply to CharlesL]

Hi Charles.. . I can only comment on my particular Condition .... but drink is not beneficial for me... so altho I could have the odd drink I chose to stop to give myself the best chance of healthy living.

[kel55 in reply to Heartlady1]

As long as it is accepted that whats good for the goose isnt always good for the gander then discussions like this are good. My drink intake is neglidgeable but l take my morning meds at 11ish and also my night ones at 11ish just in case l want a can, at this point its been 2 weeks and sometimes l leave off my night meds so l can have a drink but not always it is just that it gives me the choice.

I have to watch what goes in because l can not have vaso constrictors. Caffeine is a vasodilator which helps me! So when l hear cut out coffee l think 'yes lm ok jack sod you'. I also have the same problem with opioids, the only pain killers l can take are paracetamol and opioids, So again I keep hearing BAN morphine! All that this would do is increase my chest pain, me l think thats self centred

So like I said these discussions are good as long as it is remembered theres two sides to every tale

[Heartlady1 in reply to kel55]

Hi Ke155... I wasn't saying people shouldn't drink... I think everyone should have the right to make their own choices... we are all adults. I was just shocked at how my choice to stop drinking has been seen as a negative by some nurses and a paramedic. I am not looking for praise either I was just making the point that if I choose not to drink then I shouldn't be looked on as boring or " poor you"

I think the post has provoked some lively discussion... shame there has been some rude comments too... but I choose to ignore those ones.

And as you say everyone's situation and diagnosis... and tolerances are different and we each work for what is best for us the individual. Be it risks versus benefits... quality of life and what makes us happy .. and we should then each make our own informed choice without fear of being mocked or derided for it.

[kefalonia1 in reply to Heartlady1]

Hi, don't give a monkeys about those rude comments don' let them get to you, l have had them in the past here and was quite amazed that some people just didn't get the point that my purpose of sharing was to help others, like most of us do. !!! l like wine and still have a small amount but now l am always the taxi driver and find it funny when friends repeat their stories like parrots and l have also lost my pot belly jones stomach which is a bonus. Take care and keep happy," Lady Heart " ( That sounds more posh) Sue x

[Heartlady1 in reply to kefalonia1]

Thank you Sue... and Lady Heart that's very posh ( not like me at all lol 😂)

Xx

[Prada47]

Difficult one this.

I like and enjoy a drink probably about 8 x 500ml Cans over a week max 5% abv. Then again I am almost 71, will having 8 cans a week really alter my life expectation ?? my HF is under control with meds so I feel comfortable with my drinking habit. I don't smoke because I do believe that would shorten my lifespan, But hey ho we are only here once and what we do is our business and no one else's. I wouldn't dream of advising my HF Nurse she needs to lose around 2 stone (generous ) she knows as well as me, I think that's why she never comments on my drinking it's called Personal Choice, and the Choice is YOURS.