One year on

[Twobells]

Today is a year past since my heart attack, followed by triple bypass. Physically I'm fine, but still suffer from anxiety. Flash backs of the 'what if's'. I realise that I'm now always fatigued, everything I do takes me double the time . If I do too much one day then I pay for it for the next few days. But....

I'm content with my life and having a great supportive husband and two fabulous children. I'm grateful to Mr Andrew Selvaraj at JR Oxford for saving my life.

I think the anniversary of this just brings it all back.

[skid112 Heart Star]

Hi Twobells, a very happy anniversary to you. I hope you have a wonderful day today, some sunshine, maybe a walk and enjoy the day.

I had my year a few months back chatted to my GP about meds, beta blocker will make you tired, removed one lot of pills halved the beta blocker. Liver function test and cholesterol check.

Go and see your GP, might get a little relief.

Take care

Mark

[Twobells in reply to skid112]

Yeah, I'm due to go, possibly meds need to be changed. I take beta blocker at night, but I still feel like a zombie the next day. I also just eturned from holiday in Cornwall so possibly holidy blues.

Are you doing OK as you said you were having tests?

[skid112 Heart Star in reply to Twobells]

Im doing ok, more medication, awaiting the last test results but looking like angina, much better than the possible alternatives

[David-75]

Hi Twobells, happy Easter. you may remember you kindly replied to my post six months ago (I had a HA and 5 stents). I know exactly what you mean - I am getting stronger though and exercising regularly and I am maintaining a reasonable level of fitness but obviously don’t push to the same level that I did before my MI. The anxiety comes and goes - still anxious about taking my daughter anywhere alone( without my partner), still anxious most of the time when I exercise. I am working through this and the mixed emotions of gratitude for being alive and depression of having to adjust my life so much - feel like I can no longer push for promotion at work (I was on the cusp of achieving my career goal) no competitive sport, (on the news just now it says watching football could even be bad for me too!; I prefer gardeners world these days anyway!)- I feel like I am surrounded by news about HA’s ; but know this is the same thing as when my partner was pregnant and I thought there were loads of people suddenly pregnant around - I am just more attuned to it as it is relevant. I feel deflated and although I have great support - I don’t want to be a burden. I guess we all have to focus on what we can do , rather than what we can’t - forget the past and live in the present - but it’s not easy for any of us. I am sure I will be the same as you when I get to a year anniversary - at the moment I am counting months, maybe that will become counting years - i.e. although I think it will always be there now- i believe it will lessen for us all. A year is not a long time though - my psychologist says we are going through akin to a ‘grieving process’ that can last a couple of years. You sound like you also have great support and are dealing with this well though. Sorry for this garbled response , but just wanted to reach out and say I know the feeling and I do believe coping gets better with time. Happy anniversary. Best wishes , David

[Twobells in reply to David-75]

Most of the time I'm doin well. Its when I think I've made it through then wham I overdo things. I'm pleased I'm still here, but I could have done with some counselling post op. There is no preparation at all once your discharged your left to get on with it. However, I am very fortunate that my cardiologists has agreed to see me regularly which is reassuring because many on here don't get that. I have just started counselling which seems to help give me some practical ways of thinking about health. I have many other health problems and this one just topped the bill. Maybe its because it is life threatening and it makes you feel so fragile. Who knows. Easter is upon us and lets hope a little warmer weather is to come. Trying to walk in bitter cold is hard work for us all.

Thanks for taking the time to support me. Like you I counted the months, but that is now less so. I've started to do craft and discovered some old talents which keeps me occupied. I no longer work I think my priorities have changed forthe better.

Happy Easter to you and your family xFran

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[David-75 in reply to Twobells]

Yes counselling has been very good for me- but I know I was lucky to get it ; postcode/ trust lottery by the sounds of things. Similarly , I don’t get any cardiology review- it’s back to GP , but I am paying to see a cardiologist privately occasionally and will also try and monitor via a CTCA - but again, this will have to be paid for I think. The feeling of fragility is a good description.

So... more importantly...Spring.. as you say - hopefully in a week or two we will have some regular warmth to accompany our walks/runs. Like your crafts, I am turning to gardening as a budding Monty and also learning the piano.

Happy Easter to you and yours too, best wishes David

[laura_dropstitch Heart Star]

Is it appropriate to wish you a happy anniversary? I'm not sure it is, but happy anniversary anyway! You've made loads of progress over the last year and I'm sure you will continue to do so. One year since such a traumatic event is still early days really. Hope the emotional side of things continues to get better/easier as more time passes. All the best x

[Twobells]

Thank you Laura. I think it just hits on anniversary days, but I have come a long way. Part of me wants to be who I was before. Energetic, busy work etc, but now some days I'm so exhausted I have trouble even getting out of bed. As one of my friends said you have lost your mojo, but in time it will come back.

Hope you have a lovely Easter and your daughter enjoys the Easter holidays.

Again I hope you are doing OK and staying as well as you can

Love Fran x

[jimmyq]

I had quadruple bypass surgery in 1997. I too was anxious about pushing myself and overdoing it. I had been very fit before the heart disease started. Over time you will learn your limits. If you are doing something and you feel angina coming on, I mean the very first sign, stop and rest. If it happens every time you do that activity try slowing down (after resting) and/or stop doing it. Your medications can be adjusted if you feel exhausted. Talk to your GP about all of this. You are or have been very ill and you need looking after. Bypass surgery saved your life. It didn't clean your arteries out.

[Twobells]

Thank you for this, I'm changing my GP as although she's lovely she doesn't always understand. Like you I was very fit and very active, but just done a short walk and got chest pain, part of me thinks its pollution as I live near a main road when I was in Cornwall I had little or no chest tightness when walking. The last time saw GP she dimissed my fatigue and said its not your meds its because you have anaemia, but I have been anaemic most of my life and never had this much exhaustion. But thank you and its good to her from you after 20 yers makes me feel better about the future.