I want to be positive but sadly I'm not managing it. I want to be mature but I'm being pathetic.
I've seen a cardiologist for my moderate/severe aortic stenosis and he has immediately referred me to Kings and their valve specialists. He says he wants to get it done in 3 months before I get worst symptoms. I'm not so scared of the op but the risks of death before they do it.
I now have to wait for an appt. how on earth am I going to cope. My husband says I have lots to fill my mind with Xmas coming up and new grandchild. But how can that help when all I can think is this is foi g to be my last Xmas and I'll never see the baby. I just want to hide away from everyone until it's over.
What use I going to be to my daughter and her baby anyway.
What if they find other things wrong with me and aren't able to do the valve replacement anyway. What hope have I got then? Our family aren't used to ill health . Everyone lives forever and I thought I would too.
My 60th next year and we had so many plans.
Dreadful depression. Am I able to take anti depressants for this?
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Numberone1
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Hi, I can understand your fear but if the hospital were that concerned you would probably already be in hospital. I had severe aortic regurgitation but still wasn't classified as an regent priority case. I know it's something that is difficult to get your head round, but there are loads of us on here who have gone through the op and come out the other side. I had my aortic valve replacement done 3 weeks ago and am already up and about, spent yesterday at my friend's house making sugarpaste butterflies and blossoms for a wedding cake and have been to the shops with my husband. Obviously you won't feel great immediately after the op, but once you recover you'll be able to get back to your normal life.
Please speak to your GP about your concerns, but hopefully once the others on here get on line their stories will help to put your mind at rest.
Awww I really feel for you cos I'm also struggling with all my latest diagnosis. I'm on antidepressants have been for a while they do help a bit with the anxiety but u still get very low days and can't stop crying. My stenosis is severe and has been for a while so I don't think there's any worry about anything happening suddenly but i do understand your fears. I'm more concerned about the op I was told 3 years ago I would prob be in my 70s before I needed it then suddenly at 53 I'm seeing the surgeon! Please go see your gp and explain how your feeling they will help put your mind at rest. Try to stay positive I have 6 kids and 6 grandkids that I'm defo staying alive for! Xx
Its hard to sit around waiting, but if you were so critical you couldn't wait, I doubt the cardiologist would have let you leave the hospital post your appointment. Unfortunately time just waiting gives too much time to think of all the negatives and its hard to let the positives get a look in. I strongly advise you to go and see your GP. You could also get some counselling of your own back (look on the internet, there will be a number local to you). Don't bottle it up - it just makes it worse - talk to someone!
Good advice from everyone as usual. I read somewhere that you should make a list of all your anxieties, and then cross off any that you have no control over and can't do anything about. You may find you are not left with many. This Christmas will be the first of many with your new grandchild, definitely not your last. Put your faith in the Drs, they know what they are doing. My AVR was two weeks ago tomorrow and I'm amazed at my improvement already. Keep your chin up and look forwards! x
To reassure you, I never knew I had a problem with my heart, and must of lived unknowingly with Severe Aortic Stenosis for years. looking back I went aboard, moved house, went to work ,carried on with normal life . I only really had symptoms 2 weeks before I was diagnosed , and they were feeling out of breath after minor exertion burning in the throat and generally tired . I wasn’t allowed to leave hospital after I was diagnosed because it was then chronic Stenosis, I stayed in my local hospital for 2 wks having all the tests done and then transferred to Southampton for the operation . So if you were in any danger what so ever you would not of been allowed home. It is totally overwhelming but you are going too survive,you will be around for many years to see your grandchildren . We are the lucky 🍀 ones, I am now 17 weeks post op and writing this before I go to work. I see what’s happened to me as a positive, I’m 57 and plan on being around for a long time. It may be a good idea to get in touch with your cardio rehab nurses or phone BHF to talk about your fears.also many wonderful people on here that will reassure you. Take care Kaz❤️💕❣️
Hi Numberone1 , so sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Please know that you can always contact the BHF heart helpline if you would like to speak to someone, even if it's just for some reassurance: bhf.org.uk/heart-health/how... Hope this helps and keep us posted on the op
Inside I am a fit and healthy farmer's wife aged about 30. In reality I am 68 and in the last 5 years have had endocarditis twice (6 and 5 weeks in hospital respectively) and a mitral valve replacement with complications due to an allergic reaction to a drug. I'm constantly trying to live my old life and end up doing too much! I refuse to see myself as chronically ill and worked 8 hours today. Tomorrow I may suffer. My biggest concession to reality comes with the realisation that my grandchildren, aged 6 & 4, have never really known me to be fit and healthy.
We just have to accept what life throws at us and concentrate on what we can do, and try to ignore what we can't.
I was in the Ritz for lunch yesterday feeling elegant and affluent, then had to sit in the lounge afterwards with palpitations due to this damn disease, being approached by Head of Security asking if I was okay (clearly thinking I was a terrorist? or a drunk?). That shattered my illusion of who i was. The good thing about this disease is everyone keeps calling me "young". I'm 59 but apparently I'm quite young for this.
Hi numberone, depression can be so debilitating as a lot of us on here know.
My own personal experience I ignored it for too long, only recently seeking help. I am not a great pill lover, though I have to take 5 a day now, so I chose counselling. It's hard, but I feel I am getting somewhere.
I know there is a massive amount of strain within the NHS especially around mental health, please go and see your doctor, you're halfway there as you recognise the problem.
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Which valve?
Is this now the norm?
Expected life of a bypass and a stent.
Am I mad!!
Scared 23 year old's dad facing open heart surgery 
