British Heart Foundation
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Family problems

Hi

My dad had a heart attack 4months ago and on that night it happened me and my mum had to wait 4 hours to even find out what had happened to him before we could even get to the hospital ,he had been having a heart attack for those 4 hours and had paramedics with him but was still not taken to hospital. he then got taken to hospital and already coming out of surgery by the time we got there( he survived) but did die twice on the table . Called my bro who lives in a different country he was obviously upset and crying but something happened , he didn't even come home to see my dad and is still not here to see him , basically why am I feeling so much anger towards my brother when he could of come home but didn't . Has anyone else felt like this ? Am i a horrible person ?.

Many thanks

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hello, I do hope your father is recovering well now.

Feelings of anger caused by such a stressful situation are normal, doesn't make you a horrible person. Perhaps you should talk to your brother and tell him how you feel, maybe there was an event that prevented him from coming over.

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I am not going to comment much as I have my own issue with my family.

You are annoyed as your brother is not behaving the way you would if the circumstances were reversed (I would be like you) unfortunately you cannot make your brother feel the same way as you or do the same thing as you would do.

Now is not the time for a family split, I would (but that is just me) speak to him and let him know that the rest of the family including you would love for him to come and see your dad. You appreciate that life is hard but it would be appreciated by everyone.

You never know maybe that will prick his conscience.

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No you're not horrible.

But on your brother's behalf, everyone deals with things in a different way.

I guess he was of course upset because he thought he nearly lots his dad.

But then knowing he was going to survive, he maybe thinks it isn't such a rush now.

He is just dealing with it differently.

However, I know if I was in your shoes, I would probably feel exactly the same.

Try not to let it get to you too much though.

Try to stay possitive for dad & mum.

Hugs Jo xx

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