What's been going on for me

[Cheesehater]

Hi my name is A(not my real name but ye) I have not had the greatest of weeks, A little thing about me,I'm autistic, I can not go to many places that are further than 15 to 20 minutes away from where I live, I have quite bad toilet worries and I am 5 foot 7 and a half, so last Friday I had gone to my grandparents house(which is about 30 to 45 minutes away from where I live) but the reason we went is because I had a blackout on my street(and I hate the dark) so we went to there house which wasn't easy at all, and we stayed the night, went home on the Saturday and everything was normal, Sunday was fine and all, but Monday was where it went downhill, I woke up with a worry told my mum and moved on, I got another one before bed but I didn't tell my mum or dad, so I woke up on the Tuesday and I felt fine, 10 seconds later I had that same worry so I tried to think on how to tell my mum so after a while I told her and nothing happened, but not long after i got another one, it made me need the toilet so I did my business and told my mum my worry, I got another one but I held it in and slept on it, so I woke up on Wednesday with a few worries and went to the toilet a lot and when I went to sleep that night I was quite hungry no matter what I ate, I woke up on Thursday and it was just worry after worry after worry and I ate something but I was sick, so I was worrying a lot and being sick, it got to dinner time, I had beans on toast and then got a worry and in about 5 minutes of eating it I was sick, so once again I was sick and worried I woke up this morning starving and worried but I didn't want to eat anything incase of being sick, so I've had about 5 or 6 worries today and an empty stomach. Thank you for reading

[NotJim]

Hi A,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve had such a rough week, that sounds quite exhausting.

It’s good you’ve been able to tell your mum about your worries on some of those days. Chatting to people is a great way to help shed some of the weight of our worries, and i think you should keep speaking up if something troubles you.

But it sounds like over this week your worries built up until they became overwhelming . Sometimes extreme anxiety can cause us to be sick, so it may be that the built up worries, as they became more and more extreme, could have influenced this.

The thing about worrying is we can choose how we respond to it. It can be tempting to let a worry keep getting our attention, and the more attention we give it, the bigger and scarier it gets, until it feels like the biggest problem in the world and just won’t leave us alone.

But we can also choose not to give the worry the attention it wants. So when a worry appears, we can choose to say, “You know what, yeah I see you. But you don’t actually have any power. I’m not going to let you make me feel bad.”

Now, worries are persistent, so it might take some time for it to get the message. You might have to take some deep breaths and keep reminding it that it doesn’t have any power and reminding yourself that actually, It’s okay, you don’t have to listen to them.

Our worries are usually our emotions responding to things we can’t control ourselves. Not being able to sort something or not knowing how something will turn out makes us feel really uncertain and uncertainty is like a worry’s favourite food.

The more we can gently let ourselves accept that hey, life is often full of uncertain things but actually that’s not completely bad, the less strength the worries will have to keep getting your attention.

If you toss a penny in the air, there’s a 50/50 chance it will land one side or the other. Things might turn out bad, BUT there is also the chance they will turn out better than we expect!

I have autism too, and i find it hard to live with uncertainty and it does make me worry sometimes. But when I am worried, I try to remember that no matter how much worry I feel, it won’t change the thing I’m actually worrying about. It just makes me feel unhappy and uncomfortable, which is no good for me or the situation i’m in! So i make sure I can do things that help me feel calm, safe, and that help cheer my mind up. I try and accept that while I cannot change what i’m worrying about by worrying, I can tell someone if I’m upset and just have a chat about it, I can take some time out if i’m really tired out from it, and I can tell the worries that I’m not going to give them the attention they want, because they are not the most important thing in my day.

I hope that this can help in some way, and that you can feel better soon Maybe if you’re having trouble eating and you’re being sick, just make sure that you’ve got a big glass of water you can take little sips from throughout the day so you don’t get dehydrated, and if you feel hungry give yourself something small and plain to start off with, so your stomach can work through it easily. And over a couple of days build it up until you can eat properly again.

And I would definitely have a chat with your mum, or another adult your trust, and tell them about the being sick, as they could have some really good advice too.

Take care.

[Cheesehater in reply to NotJim]

Thank you, I am feeling much better than I was when I posted that I have been eating and still worrying but not as much