Boyfriend’s adult son

[Inaquandary]

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He has three adult children, the youngest, Callum (not his real name) is 22 and lives with him. I live 40 miles away.

I am absolutely certain that Callum is somewhere on the autism spectrum. But BF doesn’t want to believe this and puts his head in the sand. I am sure that if Callum was diagnosed his life would be a lot easier for him.

Has anyone else been in this situation?

Thank you

[Autisticframework]

You could highlight support group like myautismteam.com to help him through this or use an expert but sometimes 'normal' means making do without the help and support you need

[Birch_]

While diagnosis can be helpful, you can make changes to help someone without a diagnosis as well. Focus on him and what would make him happy and less stressed, asan (autistic self advocacy network) is a great resource. Think about how his life might change with a diagnosis, can you make any of those changes now? If it works then that would also help convince your boyfriend and show him how further support could benefit his son.

[Inaquandary in reply to Birch_]

Callum doesn’t seem stressed, he spends his days in bed and his nights online video gaming. He has absolutely zero empathy, has no intention or interest in getting a job or gaining any type of independence. His Dad( my bf) is stressed as we want to build a future together, he is61 and I’m not far behind. Callum’s two older sisters couldn’t be more different to him, confident and outgoing. All had the same upbringing. Their mother lives in another country, I can’t help feeling this is the root of the issue.

[Inaquandary]

I have been seeing his Dad for two years and have met Callum twice!! He hides away all the time. His dad won’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to. I feel I do t even know him. How can I?